Insane (COMPLETED)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

HARRY'S POV

Louis hates me. He absolutely despises me and I don't know what to do. He's been avoiding me ever since he left my room this morning, and i'm on the verge of tears just thinking about it.

I sat on my bed, my legs shaking underneath my pajama pants as I fiddled my thumbs. I observed my hands, quickly noticing my usually nicely trimmed fingernails have now been chewed all the way down. My whole body began involuntarily shaking as I stood up, my legs almost giving out, much like yesterday. Why am I so weak?

I walked over to my body mirror and scoffed at what was looking back at me. My body was hunched over, my back aching. But I couldn't straighten my back out, I didn't have the strength. The bandage has fallen off my knuckles, my whole hand up to my wrist badly bruised. The bloody wounds have scabbed over, not letting me move my hand at all. Dark bags underlined my green eyes, my usually bright eyes bloodshot. My brown, curly hair was messy and in my face instead of up on my forehead. I look fucking terrible.

I decided I should go eat breakfast to gain strength, I'll be needing it if Louis keeps ignoring me like he is right now.

I winced as I tried to turn my doorknob, my hand throbbing from the pain. Great, now I can't even do simple tasks. How am I supposed to tend for myself? I can't do anything with my left hand!

I walked downstairs, and Louis' cute little body appeared on the couch. He was watching TV, his legs cris-crossed in front of him. He was drinking out of a mug, most likely tea. He's not a big coffee fan. A frown grew on his face as he noticed me walking downstairs, a sigh escaping his lips as he tried to focus back on the TV.

I want to go cuddle up to him on the couch and tell him how much I love him. I want to hug his chest and kiss his neck during commercials. I want him to pull me closer when I start sliding down the couch, a small kiss being placed on my forehead. I miss hearing the way he laughed when I told him a joke, his crooked smile lighting up the room. I miss how spontaneous he used to be, holding my hand in public when he thought no one could see. But what I miss most is the way he used to say 'I love you' to me. I just miss him.

I opened up the fridge, taking out milk and made myself a bowl of cereal. I really should be eating something with protein in it, but I couldn't be bothered. I began taking the bowl out to the living room to sit with Louis, but I decided that would be a bad idea. He wouldn't want me out there with him. So, I sat at table, picking a seat that I could see the back of Louis' head from. It was placed perfectly where I could see him but he couldn't see me if he turned around. I don't see why he would turn around anyway. I've always thought the back of his head was cute, the bottom of his hair curling up at the top of his neck. He always insists that he needs a haircut, but I don't think so. Long hair definitely suits him.

I froze when I saw his face turn to the side to the entrance to the kitchen. A slight glimmer of hope, maybe, flashed on his face but quickly vanished when he saw nobody came out of the kitchen. Maybe he does want me out there with him. But why? He obviously wants no part of me anymore and he made it really damn obvious that we wouldn't be back in a relationship anytime soon.

I placed my bowl into my sink and rinsed it off. I'm feeling so much better already.

Should I walk into the living room and sit with Louis? Or should I just go in my room and do nothing all day? I'll just leave if he doesn't want me here.

I went and sat on the couch opposite to Louis. He hadn't made eye contact with me this whole time and it quickly occurred to me that he was making himself not look at me, considering there was nothing on the television.