Insane (COMPLETED)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

LOUIS' POV

Harry sat down on the couch and placed his hand over his fresh cuts on his chest. He applied pressure to it and threw his head back, hissing at the pain. God, he looks terrible. The scabs on his knuckles were slowly healing, looking slightly better each and every day. The skin on his hand looks permanently bruised but that doesn't seem to affect Harry at all. He doesn't care what he looks like anymore.

"Fuck," he groaned, adjusting himself on the couch, "it hurts to breathe,"

I nodded my head and knitted my eyebrows together. "Yeah, I bet."

I grabbed his large hand in mine and ran my fingers over his delicate, bruised fingers. He slightly jerked away from my touch at first, but then let me do what I wanted. I would never hurt him, I thought he knew that.

Harry's mom came out of the kitchen with two mugs on a tray. She placed it in front of us and smiled.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, eyeing Harry.

"Yeah, I just hurt. That's all." He assured her.

"Well, okay. I'll be in the kitchen reading if you need me. I love you boys,"

She kissed both Harry and I on the cheek and I watched as she walked away. She's such a lovely lady.

"Mom-" Harry's raspy called, "could you make us some food? I'm starving."

I smiled and gave Harry a kiss. Maybe he really does want to get better. He's finally going to start eating!

"Come here," he said as soon as I pulled away from our kiss.

Harry placed his hands on my waist and instructed me to place my legs on either side of him, my chest facing his. He pulled my body as close as possible to his without hurting himself. He placed his lips on mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Harry's hands slid down the back of my pants, cupping my ass. I laughed , pushing them away. We're in the living room of his mom's house, for God's sake.

"Cockblock," he told me, a bright smile on his lips.

"Oh please, you weren't going to get anything anyway."

He shook his head and placed a kiss on my cheek. "I highly doubt that."

"You're ridiculous."

"Come on, Lou! He haven't done it in over a month,"

"Done 'it'?" I laughed, "How old are we? Eleven?"

"Oh shut up, my mom's in the kitchen."

"Indeed I am!" She laughed, "I can hear everything you're saying!"

"Mom!" Harry yelled, his cheeks turning a light red color, "this is personal!"

Quiet taps hit against a board and I assumed Anne was cutting something up. "I know, honey. I'm sorry. I'll turn on some music in here."

Music filled the house and Harry rolled his eyes. "Sorry,"

"No, it's okay." I laughed, "we weren't going to do anything anyway."

"How could you be so sure?" He smirked, his lips pressing against my neck, "How can you resist this?"

"Well," I began, pushing his chest slightly away from mine, "it's easy, really. Your body is literally torn into pieces, Harry. I bet you wouldn't last ten minutes into sex. You'll be in way too much pain to move properly. I don't want to hurt you even more."

Harry scoffed, his arms wrapping around my chest. "You worry too much."

"I only worry because I love you."

"If you love me, then why won't you let me make love to you?"

"Just drop it, Harry. Maybe again someday."

He shook his head, his eyes closing tightly. "I don't want to drop it!" His voice got loud, making me jump, "You're treating me like a child!"

"Maybe because you're fucking acting like one!"

"How is wanting to make love to my boyfriend childish, Louis?"

"I said no! If I say no, you should accept that!"

"You know what your problem is, Louis?"

I laughed. "What? Please enlighten me!"

"You just don't want to see my body! All these cuts and bruises are from the times you weren't there for me. All the times you weren't there to stop me. You think you're the reason that I'm hurting myself!"

"Harry, that's not-"

"Then what is, Louis?"

"Have you fucking forgotten that you were almost raped?"

Harry's face dropped and he stared at the floor. Gentle features replaced his harsh ones and he shook his head. "No, of course not. I think about that all the time."

"Well, why would you want to have sex after that?"

I got off of his lap and sat down on the couch next to him. He's finally calming down.

"Louis, I think about their dirty, grimy hands touching me all the time. And every time I do, I get an overwhelming urge to kill myself afterwards. I'm hoping that maybe, if I try to replace their hands with yours, I might start to get better."

"I don't think that's going to work-"

"Please. I need you, Lou. It doesn't hurt to try."

"But what if it doesn't work?"

"Then we try something else."

I groaned and looked towards the kitchen. Anne is placing something something in the oven.

"We'll be upstairs," I told her, taking Harry's hand in mine.

"Use a condom!"

"Mom!" Harry's voice turned annoyed. He looked towards the kitchen, making eye contact with Anne. "You could still hear us?"

"Yup. Go have fun."

-

"That was amazing," Harry panted next to me.

"Yeah," I laughed, getting out of his bed. I slid my pants on and threw his at him too.

We're in his childhood bedroom, his bed sheets covered in an outer space print. His walls were painted a light blue, his dressers open and messy. Pictures of half naked playboy girls hung on his wall and I cringed. I guess he hasn't always been into guys.

Harry must have noticed me staring at his wall because he laughed. "I only hung those up to fool my friends that I was straight. They would leave me if I told them I was gay."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. They just would."

"Douchebags."

"Yeah, pretty much. Come here."

I crawled back onto the bed with him and laid my head down on his arm.

"You seem like you didn't like the sex," Harry whispered, "it wasn't that bad, was it?"

"No," I laughed, "it was great. I just have a lot of things on my mind right now."

I eyed his body, dark, multicolored bruises covering all over him, his arms and everything. It was almost difficult to make love without hurting him, I could barely move without being afraid of breaking him.

Soon after, three knocks hit his door. "Dinner's ready. Sorry if I'm interrupting anything." Anne called.

"Come on," Harry gently smacked my butt, "let's go eat. I need to make up for all the time I haven't eaten anything."