Insane (COMPLETED)

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

I sat down at the kitchen table, watching as Louis made dinner. He fascinates me to no end. Everything he does amazes me, and I often leave myself wondering how someone could be so perfect. His hair is beginning to get long, the back of his hair reaching the end of his neck. His fringe has now been pushed to the side of his forehead so it's not in his eyes. The more I look at it, the more I fall in love with it. It really suits him.

"Are you actually going to eat?" Louis asked me, his voice quiet. He continued stirring the noodles in the pan as I thought about it.

"Uh," I began, "sure,"

"You'll like it, I promise."

After a long moment of silence, Louis placed the wooden spoon on the counter and turned to face me. He let out a loud sigh as he took in my appearance.

"Still wearing that shirt, huh?"

"Yeah," I stuttered, "I haven't really been able to change it."

Louis scoffed. "You should go shower. You're kinda gross, no offense."

I laughed loudly and nodded my head. "Don't worry, I'm aware. I'll be right back."

I began to walk out of the kitchen but his gentle voice called my name and told me to come back over to him.

"Yeah?" I asked, coming to him face to face.

"Take off your shirt,"

"Why?"

"Please?"

I creased my eyebrows and was about to lift my shirt over my shoulders, but I quickly remembered the cuts on my chest. I can't show him how bad they've gotten.

"I can't," I sighed.

"It's because of your cuts, huh?" He asked me, pointing to my chest.

I nodded my head.

He sighed loudly and wiped off small beads of sweat on his forehead from being over the stove for so long. "I know they're infected, Harry. I'm so scared of what they're doing to you,"

"I'm fine," I lied.

He shook his head. "Go take a shower and once you get out, we're going to the hospital. I'm not going to let you die from this,"

"You know what happened last time!"

"I don't care. We're going."

-

I dried my hair off and looked in the mirror, a smile involuntarily taking over my mouth. I'm with Louis again. I felt like my heart has been stitched back together and I don't feel as empty. Is this happiness that I'm feeling? Fuck, I haven't felt this in such a long time. It's feels really nice. I've noticed that only Louis can make me feel this way. I still get butterflies when he looks at me. I'm going to get better. I'm going to fix our relationship. I need to stop fucking up.

I wrapped a towel lowly on my waist and walked to my room, but was distracted when Louis was sitting on my bed.

"Lou?"

"Holy shit, Harry," he explained, walking over to me, "they're so much worse than when I saw them just a couple days ago,"

"They're fine-"

"You need to stop saying that! You're going to die from this and-"

I cut him off by pressing my lips against his. He instantly relaxed and ran his fingers through my damp hair. His left hand rested on the small of my back, his index fingers tracing small shapes on the skin. Our lips moved in sync, as slow as we possibly could make it. It was obvious that we both wanted this kiss to last. His thumb came up and ran over my bottom lip, separating our kiss.

"You smell so good," he cooed, pressing one more small kiss to my cheek.

"Well, I did just shower," I quietly laughed, placing my hand on his jaw. I ran my thumb across his soft cheek and I couldn't help but smile. This is the man I'm in love with. Not Niall, not anyone else. Louis is who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I will fight to keep him in my life.

He placed his hand on my wrist and his eyes gently shut, cuddling into my hand. This was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. He looks so gentle; so innocent. Like there's nowhere in the world he's rather be. And I could say the same about myself.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you," he said, his voice raising on the 'you.'

"Come on," Louis continued, opening his light blue eyes, "let's go get you fixed up."

-

"This is one of the worst infections I have ever seen," the doctor informed me, "you're going to have to undergo a huge surgery,"

"Surgery?" I spit.

"Harry, this is serious! You could potentially die from this, you know that right?"

The doctor had thick rubber gloves on, acting like he would die if he touched me. He was a younger man than last time, his head not as bald as the last guy. He had brown curly hair and dark brown eyes. If I were slightly older, I might have found an interest in him.

I shrugged. "I've been told that plenty of times,"

"Why didn't you come in earlier? How long ago did this happen?"

"I don't know, a couple weeks maybe,"

He shook his head and squeezed the bridge of his nose. He's disappointed in me. I'm not surprised, that's nothing new.

"It's almost like you wanted to kill yourself," he chuckled.

If only he knew.

-

"You're going to be okay, Harry," Louis assured me.

I tried to remain calm and try not to freak out. I'm supposed to be getting better.

"But Louis, aren't you scared at all?"

"Of course I'm scared. I don't want anything to happen to you. But you'll be fine, you just have to be cooperative, okay?" His cold fingers laced with mine and he pressed a small kiss to my temple.

I was in a hideous green hospital gown which barely covers my butt. Louis was joking about it earlier but I didn't find it very funny. I'm so scared. I'm currently laying on a bed in a small room with Louis by my side. I have less than an hour until surgery and it's really starting to get to me. My hands were getting fidgety and I couldn't stop moving. What if things don't end up okay? What if I die during it?

"I'm scared," I whispered to Louis, staring at the ceiling.

"Me too baby," he replied, "me too."