Insane (COMPLETED)

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

HARRY'S POV

I'll put off committing suicide for another week; that's my plan. Louis needs me and I really need him, I now know this. But, Louis is the type of person you can't live with or without. I feel like I want to die with and without him. Except, he helps the pain go away, even if it's only for a little while. I always seem to fuck everything up, so That makes him leave me. I never seem to do anything right anymore. Maybe Louis is finally starting to accept how I am now. I've changed so quickly, and i'm okay with that. I have to be. Seeing Louis beg me to stay alive made me realize something. Maybe life is worth living, only if I can spend my time with him. I would say i'm upset about not being in the band anymore, but i'm not. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No more interviews, no more lying about my relationship with Louis, if you could even call it that anymore, and no more Niall. I mean, what's gotten into him lately? We used to be so close, but now I can't even say his name without cringing. He's just so fucking rude. What makes him think he can tell me to kill myself? I'm doing just fine in that department without him.

It's been three days since I last saw Louis. I'm supposed to be getting better, but I can't seem to get into that mindset. Let's just say I haven't eaten anything since he left. On the bright side, my nose has been healing. It's still broken and hurts like a bitch, but I deserved it. Louis should have punched me harder, to be honest. I was way out of line. The bruise on my cheek is healing too. But I can't say the same for the scars on my chest. I didn't care enough to put any medication on it, so I think it's starting to get infected. The skin around the wounds is turning a dark red and is becoming inflamed. Pus is starting to form inside of them but I'm too tired to care. My mom tried looking at them yesterday, but I wouldn't let her. I refuse to let her see how bad they're getting. I was going to tell Louis about it, but he will only make me feel worse about doing it to myself. If he saw how infected they were becoming, he would instantly take me to the hospital. Knowing me, I couldn't be in that type of environment for too long without punching someone. And I couldn't subject Louis to that again. I need to get better for him, I just have to.

I find myself thinking about Chloe a lot now. But, it only seems to make my attitude worse. Why did she have to tell me how she feels about Louis? Doesn't she know it will only hurt me? Maybe that was her plan all along, that conniving little bitch. I'm so done with her and her games. Why can't she be like the other girls? Speaking of the other girls, I wonder if Paige is still with Niall. I wouldn't be if I were her. How can she put up with him? Niall's a self-centered douchebag who only cares about himself. She could do so much better. Maybe I should call her and ask.

"Hi Harry," She chimed.

"Hey Paige, how have you been?"

"I think the better question is, how have you been? You like dropped off the face of the earth!"

"I asked you first." I replied flatly.

"Okay then," Paige grunted, "I've been fine. Why did you call?"

I sighed. I decided to get straight to the point. "How are you still putting up with Niall?"

"What?"

"You heard me, Paige. You could do so much better."

"What do you have against Niall?" Why is she defending him?

I started getting annoyed. "Do you not remember what he said to me?"

"Oh, right. I remember."

"How can you be with someone who acts like that? I didn't do anything to provoke him."

"I know you didn't, i'm sorry for that." She sounded tired.

There was a moment of silence on the line, and I started questioning why I even called her to begin with.