Insane (COMPLETED)

Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Life can be confusing, one moment you feel like the world is in your hands, but then it can all come crashing down. Your dreams and life goals can be ruined in a blink of an eye. Anyone you love will turn on you and leave you. You will feel like an incomplete puzzle- empty until you find your missing puzzle piece that completes you. With Harry and Louis, this was the case.

Louis is lost. He's incomplete without Harry and nothing in his life seems to go as planned. He's lost all his friends because everyone seems to think that Harry's suicide is Louis' fault. But that's quite the contrary. Louis is the reason Harry stayed alive for so long. Louis was Harry's light, his pathway to happiness. But before he could reach it, Louis turned off the light just long enough for Harry to get lost. Louis was just as confused as Harry was, and he couldn't figure out how to stop it. He couldn't stand to see Harry mutilate himself, and the only way for him to cope with it was to completely avoid Harry. He didn't want to lose Harry completely, but at some points, Harry was just too hard to handle. Harry was rude, violent, and at some points, could be compared to a sociopath. He killed a man with a hammer for God's sake! Louis could barely stand to look at Harry anymore without cringing. He knew what Harry's hands were capable of, and he didn't want to take any more chances. He could have been the next man to be killed. But deep down, he knew he was wrong about that. Harry would never kill Louis. The mere thought of Louis ever being in pain brought tears to Harry's eyes. Louis was Harry's sunshine, the only thing that could ever make him happy. But for all the times Louis wasn't there for him, Harry had his knife by his side. Harry would often think long and hard before pressing the knife into his skin, thinking about how Louis would react to this. He always shrugged it off, knowing this is the best for him. And when Louis was banging on his bedroom door, the sharp glass shards from his mirror in Harry's hands, he was ready. He wanted to see Louis cry, he wanted Louis to feel the pain he was feeling. So as Harry dragged the blades across his chest, in that very moment, he was happy. The tears streaming down his cheeks could say otherwise, but he was. The banging on the door and Louis' loud voice was fading away as he concentrated on himself, on the warm liquid streaming down his chest. But as soon as Louis bursted through the door and saw Harry in his state, all those feelings went away. Harry no longer wanted to see Louis cry over him, he wanted to see Louis smile and be happy like he always used to be. Harry was not in the bedroom because Niall told Harry to kill himself. He was in here because he needed to do this. He needed to feel the pain. He just didn't want Louis to see it. So as Louis took the glass shard from his hand and brought Harry into the tightest hug he's ever been in, he decided that the next time he wants to hurt himself, he will not let Louis see.

But that obviously did not last long. The moment after Harry's surgery, when Louis found the cuts on Harry's legs, Louis knew this battle was not over. Harry was not going to stop hurting himself until he was dead.

Louis has told Harry's mother plenty of times about how Harry has been acting, but she was never too concerned. "Oh, he'll be fine. It's just a phase," she would tell Louis. Louis didn't think she could clearly wrap her head around the whole situation. He doesn't think she wanted to. It was hard enough for Louis to think about what Harry was doing to himself, let alone tell Harry's own mother. Louis wanted more than anything to turn back time to that night at the bar before everything happened. He wouldn't have talked to Chloe and ignored Harry, he wouldn't have let Harry walk away, and he most definitely wouldn't have left the bar without Harry. Louis thought he was so fucking stupid for doing that. Hunter wouldn't be dead if Louis would have been more understanding and Niall wouldn't have acted that way towards Harry in his state. For a while, Louis did think this whole situation was his fault, but then he understood. He has always been there for Harry and loved him unconditionally. Harry knew Louis loved him more than anything, and that's why he used people against him. He wanted Louis to be jealous. Harry wanted Louis to always tell him how much Harry meant to him, and when Harry didn't get the attention, he was hurt. He thought Louis would love him no matter what. Louis thought Harry put too much trust in him.