Bethany Carrington is a junior in high school. She's a great student, she has really good taste in fashion, she even has the "perfect" boyfriend or so she thought. She also has a brother named Josh who is a year older. He has a best friend named B...
"Are you sure you're ready to go back?" Ashley asks
"I have to go back. I've already missed too much time" I say getting up
"Yeah but you've went through so much in the last week are you ready to actually go out?" She asks
"I'm trying to get back to normal" I state "I have to accept that I had a miscarriage I just want to go back to normal before I got pregnant"
"Well I'm your best friend so I'll just support you in what you want to do" She smiles
"Thanks" I smile
In the last week I've been huddled up in my comforters in my bed until my doctor gave me the ok to go back to normal activities. All through the week Ashley has came over and stayed with me. During the week she's helped me come to terms and accepting the miscarriage although I know I will never fully get over it. I'm not going to lie there are things I still can't do because if I do then I know I'll break down. I can't walk in the nursery still, When I see a couple with a baby Ii look away because the memories come back. I don't think Ii will ever get over losing my first child but he's in a better place. Maybe wherever he is was the way things were supposed to go. But, sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows. Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday unseen, unheard, but always near. No matter what Liam will always be loved. missed, and will never be forgotten.
"Have you talked to Blake lately?" She asks
"No. I don't want to" I lie
Ok maybe I miss him but I'm doing the right thing. I know He's always here. He says he comes to hang out with Josh but I know the real reason is to try to talk to me. Josh tells me that he looks like complee shi and that he always talks about how much h loves me and that he still wants to be with me. But there is a part of me that wonders if Liam was never in the picture would Blake and I even had a chance? I mean after we hooked up we avoided each other like the plague. I know that I broke his heart, but he was going to give up his dream already because of the pregnancy and I could tell that even after we lost Liam he wasn't going to leave and follow his dreams and I can't let him do that. I still love him. But we all know how the saying goes. If you love something, set it free, and if it was real it would find it's way back somehow.
"We both know that's not true" She laughs
"It's for the best" I sigh
"He misses you. He's been asking to see you but I told him to give you time"
"And we will talk. Just not right now" I say going through my closet
I've decided to go back to school today but mom said to wait until the day started so I wouldn't be bombarded with questions and stares in the morning. I tried to tell her it was useless because I will still get stared at but she literally took my keys and hid them and said she will tell me where they are at 10 am.
I look through my clothes and hold them up to my body to see if it would look ok. Even though I don't have my bump, there's still a pudge. The doctor said that I'm not going to bounce back to my old body right away but exercising will help. I pick a baby blue flowy blouse, a leather jacket, Black jeggings, white vans, and my black chanel purse I go for christmas a few years back.
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