Cloud Castle

21. Am I too late?

''Stop pretending Xyzpher...'' I said as soon as the doctor left. Maybe for seconds I actually believed that his memories were in a chaos kaya naalala niya yung nakaraan kasabay nang pag kawala nang alaala niya nang kasalukuyan. I know him to well especially when he's lying, we didn't grow up together for nothing and right now I can see in his eyes that he's lying... He chose to stay here with me, a part of me wants that too but when I saw the pain in Louisse eyes... hindi ko kayang maging masaya and Bellamy? He didn't even look at me.

''What?'' Gulat na tanong niya sa akin. Seriously?

''What's your plan? Do you really want to keep hurting everyone around you?''

Natigilan siya then he closed his eyes. I know I shouldn't have said that. Hindi ko na napigilan pa yung bibig ko. I just hate what I saw in Louisse eyes when he said that, it was like me 6 years ago and now it was happening again. ''Is that what you think of me Lois? I don't know too, I remember what we feel but my heart feels another. I remember our memories but my heart loves someone else. Hindi ko na alam dahil ang gulo-gulo nang utak ko. There are two memories in my head right now our past and my present, do you have any idea how crazy is that? It was like I know that I love you but I'm in love with someone else... This... this was my only way of not hurting her even more. I wanted to fix myself... I... I don't know...'' Then he shook his head. He covered his face with his hands.

''Sorry... Why don't you stay at your family—''

''You don't want me here?'' Putol niya sa sinasabi ko. I saw the glint of pain in his face. Natigilan ako.

''That's unfair, that's not what I meant... I mean they wanted to be with you—''

''You don't?''

Why does he keep on cutting me off? It's like he's being to his old self but more. ''What the hell? Can you let me finish my sentence first?''

''Was it because of Bellamy?''

Dubdub. My heart beats fast the mere mention of his name. Feeling ko kinailangan kong huminga nang maayos... Hindi naman diba? It wasn't because of him... It's just that it's uncomfortable being with Xyzpher here... ''Don't bring his name here Xyzpher, wala siyang kinalaman sa ating dalawa...'' Then I left him. Xyzpher's being selfish... He wasn't like that before; I guess that accident really changed him. It was like I was standing in the front of a stranger.

~~

''Coming here with you was one thing but asking me to be your girlfriend was too much Xyzpher.'' Kalmado kong sagot sakanya kahit ang totoo gusto ko na siyang ilunod sa beach na pinuntahan namin. MyGod! I don't want to come here in Madrid either but heck; he has his own ways to get whatever he wants. He told Finn to talk to my boss para makapag vacation leave ako nang isang linggo and my boss! Actually agree with it! My father? Ugh... He's happy that Xyzpher was doing these things... He still hopes that we could still be together...