To Be A Scrapper (Suzuya Juuzou)

Chapter 29

My body lay motionless against the thin mattress under me as a weight I never thought I'd be capable of having clawed at my heart, forcing it to crawl it's way up my throat and rip me open in the process. My limbs were shaky along with my shallow breathing as tears flooded my eyes but I couldn't even dare let them spill, not for him. He didn't need it.

Through blurry vision I studied the beat up choker between my hands, running my bandaged fingertips along the fabric. At some point I had started biting my nails to the point where my fingers started bleeding, thus ending up with the thin cloth wrapped around them. I was tempted to tear the bandages off, but I promised Shin I wouldn't and I refused to break my word.

That, and the fact that he was staring right at me. All the boys were.

I knew what they wanted, they were waiting for an explanation, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. The second I did, my voice would crack and fade away.

Instead I gripped the collar between my fingers as I let my mind drift off to the previous conversation.

~
"Do you recognize it?" Madam A's voice rang through my ears, mischief oozing from it. I remained silent, something about her tone of voice was very off.

"Well, What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" She smirked.

"What did you do to Rei?" I strained, resisting the urge to jump at her on the spot.

"Me? Nothing. I'm not in charge of the little one, after all. I can't say the same for Big Madam, though." She casually shrugged before continuing.

"Anyway, since it's very clear that you care for each other, I'll make a deal with you. Master the three most important skills; weaponry, strategy and assassination. Do that, and I'll bring you a voice recording of your dear Rei." Madam A finished with a hand on her hip.

"No, I want to see him." I growled.

"Patience Emi. All at it's time. You'll get to see Rei eventually."

"I want to see him now!" I gritted my teeth as my fists clenched.

"Too bad. First is the voice recording. Don't jump steps or you'll get nothing at all." Madam A shook her head at me before opening her mouth again.

"Do we have a deal?"

~~
"Emi?" I felt a hand lightly shaking me. My gaze traveled up the arm until I met with a pair of worried hazel eyes.

My stomach was boiling with a mixture of  feelings. Anger, helplessness, desperation. I felt so powerless, the thought of Rei going through hell and not being able to help him though it painfully burned at my brain. It was like drowning in a sea of oil; thick, sticky and nothing but darkness surrounding me.

"What's wrong?" Jiro whispered cautiously, his hand combing through my hair. I shook my head, refusing to speak about it.

Shin stood right behind Jiro, his body leaning against the wall as his arms were crossed over his chest, eyes lightly skimming me.

Ryuu was at the foot of my bed with his hands in his pockets, his confused eyes flickering between everyone in the room. I could tell he hadn't the slightest idea of what was going on.

"You can speak to us. We'll be here." Jiro whispered.

"Well it's not like we can leave this place or something- ouch! What was that for?"

"Shut up Ryuu." Shin responded in a cold tone, immetiately rendering the boy silent.

I shifted my weight further away from the boys, not wanting to deal with them at the moment. They were only fueling my anger. All I wanted was to be left alone.