I Wish I Could Hate You (Gratsu)

The Bachelor

Gray's POV
He slapped me...
I held my face and looked into his panic-filled eyes.
"You're not the Gray I fell in love with."
I knew he wouldn't like me anymore. I knew he would leave me sooner or later. I pointed to the door. "Get out."
"What!?" He asked, "We need to talk!"
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I yelled, anger coursing through me and spitting from my mouth like venom.
Natsu looked taken a back, but stood his ground. "No."

"NO!?" I screamed, throwing my arms up in the air. "What do you mean no! You tell me to open up and share what I'm feeling, and in return, you tell me you don't love me anymore! I want you to get the hell away from me!"

"Gray," Natsu lowered his voice until it was almost a whisper. "I never said I didn't love you anymore. You were not acting like yourself. You weren't acting like the Gray I first met on the bus. I just want you to be okay and go back to being normal, happy Gray. I love you with all my heart and I want you to get better."

I thought over his words. "Well the Gray you fell in love with it gone." I motioned to my scared, defiled body. "Take it or leave it." And with that I tried to walk out of the bedroom, but Natsu grabbed me by the arms and spun me around so I was facing him.

"I-Will-Never-Leave-You," He growled, pulling me into a hug.

I stood there, stiff and shocked. I didn't know what to do or say. All these emotions were building up inside me and before I knew it I was a sobbing mess in my boyfriend's arms. He shushed me and rocked us back and forth on the hardwood floor.

"Shhh," he said, "I'm right here."

After I had calmed down I grabbed his face and pulled him into a gentle kiss which he eagerly accepted. I leaned my forehead against his and gazed into his eyes, watching my small reflection. "I'm sorry," I finally said, breaking the silence.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Natsu reassured me. "You did nothing wrong."

I sniffled, the tears threatening to come back. "I'm just so... so confused. I- don't know how to feel, but I feel dirty. I feel dirty and used and hurt. Oh God I hurt all over and it's just so much. I want someone to hold me, but I want to be by myself. I want to be defiled but I want to be respected. I want to be loved, but I never want to feel emotion again. I just want things to go back to normal, but my head is spot a hundred miles a minute and I can't wrap my head around anything other than the fact that I hate myself more than ever before." I covered my mouth, realizing that I had just exposed my deepest thoughts. I looked up though and Natsu was smiling.
Tears formed in the corners of his eyes and he wiped them away with a small chuckle, "you opened up to me. Thank you."
I couldn't help but smile. He was so sweet to me, even if I didn't deserve it. All of the sudden, Juvia walked into the room, looking somewhat frantic.
"Gray! Someone is here to see you..."
Natsu got up first, straightening up his shirt and buttoning his pants. "Who is it?"
She looked back behind her and paused. "Freed."
Natsu looking pissed and was about to storm out of the room when I stopped him. "It's fine. Let me talk to him."
He tried to protest, but I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. A rather out of place Freed was standing in the kitchen, walking in circles. When he saw me he stopped pacing and smiled. "Hey!"
I waved, "hello... so uh... to what can I owe the pleasure?"
At this his smile fell. "Well I know what happened and I just wanted to make sure you were okay..."
I nodded. "I'm fine."
He opened his mouth like he was going to speak, but stopped.
"What?" I prompted.
He sighed," I know it doesn't mean much, by Laxus was worried sick about you."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Well it's great that he started caring now."
Freed hung his head, "It sucks doesn't it."
Knowing what he was talking about I walked over and slung an arm around him. "It'll all be okay. For the both of us."
Natsu came prancing into the kitchen, his shirt strategically removed to show off his muscles and intimidate Freed.
"Oh hey Freed," he exclaimed, as if he hadn't know he was here. He leaned next to me on the counter, pulling me into his arms. I smiled and cuddled into his chest.
"You have it good Gray. You have a fine man there." Freed laughed, patting me on the back. "Well I said my piece. We hope to see you at school soon!"
I smiled and wished him farewell before turning back to Natsu.
"What was this about," I laugh, motioning to his bare chest.
"Whhhat?" He asked innocently, "this?"
I slapped him playfully across the arm. "Yeah THAT."
He shrugged his shoulders and pulled me back into his arms. "I want you to live with me," he whispered.
My eyes shot open. "W-what!? No no I couldn't do that! You have family!"
He shushed me. "It wasn't a question it was a statement. Gajeel already said it was okay. "
Despite my want to protest I thought now wasn't the time. Instead I grabbed Natsu's handsome face and pulled him into a sultry kiss. "How can I ever thank you," I whispered
seductively.
He smirked, "we can cuddle on the couch and watch the bachelor?"
I nodded and ran my hands through his hair, "sounds like a plan."