Doomed to Fail

Perverts and Yo-Yo's

They stopped by the office for the editor to gush over Lefu, asking for an article about her rescue.

"What about Mr. Nakamura? That wormhole gun is impressive," Lefu suggested. The editor shook his head and clapped her on the back.

"The people want Superman. Just write about Superman. Clark can write about the wormhole gun. They want to hear from you, your kidnapping and dashing rescuer," the editor said with a smile. Lefu sat down in the chair next to Clark's desk with a huff.

"Superman? Batman is better. I bet you Batman can kick his ass anytime," Lefu mumbled angrily. Clark laughed.

"But Superman is super fast and strong. Batman is just a man. What could he do?" Clark asked. Lefu rolled her eyes.

"Oh, please. Isn't Superman only weakness a rock? Turn that into a gun and shoot Superman with it. Or better yet, you could stab him with it," Lefu suggested. Clark winced.

"Superman can dodge an attack like that. Did you forget super fast?" Clark smiled. Lefu scowled and leaned on his desk.

"Ok, but they're friends. I doubt he'd be expecting him to do anything. Think about it. What if Batman just busted out a yo-yo made of kryptonite and played with it in front of Superman? Superman would fall to his knees, weakened from it," she suggested. Clark laughed, picturing Batman playing with a kryptonite yo-yo.

"That creates an interesting picture but beside the point," Clark said with a chuckle. Lefu pouted.

"Between Team Superman and Team Batman, I'm Team Batman all the way. I mean, look at it like this. He's Batman. You just can't beat being Batman," she said with a sly smile. Clark laughed and shook his head in disbelief. I'm lucky Bruce isn't here listening to me now, Lefu thought to herself.

"That's funny but not really an argument. Batman is human and can't defeat Superman. Just won't happen," Clark stated. Lefu rolled her eyes.

"Ok, then how about this. In a fight between Superman and Batman, he busts out the gold yo-yo. Superman is now just a man. Batman would win hands down, no question about it. Batman is just the better fighter. Superman is just shoved in a world of cardboard, taking care to hold back. There's no training," Lefu mused. Clark stared at her hard, trying to figure her out.

"How would you know something like that?" he asked her. Lefu jumped as she jumped out of her thoughts.

"What, the golden yo-yo?" she asked, cocking her head to the side in question. Clark laughed and shook his head.

"No, about Superman holding back," Clark stated. Lefu sighed and rested her head on top of her hands.

"Think about it. I've heard of Superman doing some crazy things. He's a super human with super strength. Wouldn't you feel like living in a world made of cardboard with super strength?" she asked him. Clark smiled.

"Yes, I would. You just said something really insightful is all," he teased her. Lefu pouted.

"I can be insightful! I just choose to keep them to myself," she teased back. They passed the rest of the day helping each other with their articles. Lefu complained the whole time, at first writing it like a romance novel because she didn't want to write it seriously.

"Come on! It's what the readers want," Lefu teased. Clark rolled his eyes.

"Superman did not 'carry you off into the sunset gazing lovingly into your eyes.' Everything you've written couldn't have happened," Clark said for the last time. Lefu pouted and tapped her article onto the side of the computer.

"Fine! I'll try to take this seriously. How about this? I 'stared at those perfectly shaped globes of his ass and thought about what they looked like underneath the uniform as he punched the kidnappers in the face!' That would sell to so many women readers you know," Lefu teased. Clark laughed.

"You're willingly admitting to fantasizing about those 'shapely globes' to the whole world also. Is that really what you want Superman to read?" Clark teased. Lefu gasped.

"Oh, my god! You're right! Then how about this? 'I kicked the kidnapper in the face with Superman decided to interrupt my self-release.' Now how about that? I'm dashing and a better hero," she teased again. Clark laughed.

"Then that won't get viewers. Try to write objectively. You're making this more difficult than what it really is," Clark chuckled. Lefu rolled her eyes.

"It's your fault. You're making it fun to tease you with it," Lefu commented off-handedly and focused on typing up the article. Clark smiled as he watched her while reading the article she printed earlier. She smiled as she tapped her chin thoughtfully when she was stuck in writing and scowled when Superman's name popped up. It made him enjoy watching her struggle with an article she obviously didn't want to write.

Lefu sighed unhappily as she handed in her article to the editor. Clark had left earlier smirking triumphantly when he was satisfied that she was seriously working on the article about Superman. He's Team Superman all the way, Lefu thought to herself. The editor nodded in approval and she made her way home. Lefu walked home today for a change. She was just down the street when people ran by her, knocking her over.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Lefu shouted at them. She got up and dusted herself off to see a car speeding it's way right at her. Her eyes widened. Ok, fly away and reveal yourself to everyone or get hit and sit out of work for awhile, she thought. She hesitated to fly away but gave up. She shut her eyes, preparing herself for impact only to be whooshed up in Superman's arms. She cracked open an eye to make sure she wasn't dreaming and opened her eyes, looking around her. He had the car in his other hand and set it down in front of the cops.

"Nice to see you again," Superman said with a smile. Lefu sighed.

"I swear, I am not doing this on purpose. Honest," she told him. Superman laughed and set her down on her feet.

"I'm sure you're not. You're not the 'jump into trouble' type. You just attract it," he commented. Before Lefu could reply with a retort, he had already jumped into the air.

"Hey! Flying away is cheating!" She shouted up at him. She swore she heard him laugh. Lefu pouted and made her way to her apartment. She changed into lounging yoga pants and a tight tank top. She immediately went to her patio and conjured up some wine to sip on. She drank from the bottle, looking out at the stars and noticed Superman nearby.

"Are you stalking me?" She asked suspiciously. Superman looked surprised and looked around him. She scoffed. As if I'm talking to some other flying man, she thought. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"No, I was just here to talk to a friend..." He said lamely. Lefu scoffed.

"Right... You know, the funny things is, I was just talking about you today. I still think Batman would win," she mumbled the last sentence to herself, taking a swing of her wine. Superman smiled.

"Really? Batman doesn't have xray vision now does he?" Superman said with a chuckle, gazing at her. Lefu gasped and threw her bottle at his face. He caught it confused.

"Pervert!" She spat at him and slammed her patio door on him.

"Wait, what? No, that's not what I meant!" Superman called out to her. He sighed and landed on his patio to walk into his apartment. He changed out of his outfit and into pajamas, slipping into bed as Clark Kent.