Nobis ✴︎ Pavel Chekov

Chapter Ten - Schrodinger's Couple

Alec seems to be keeping a closer eye on Pavel and the Russian doesn't object. He probably needs some guidance from someone who actually knows what they're doing in terms of relations. Pavel still knows he wants to be around her, even if it is bad for him. Alec keeps him company but it doesn't feel the same when things with Emory are messy and need a lot of working on. He knows he's probably being too impulsive and letting desperation dictate a lot of his decision making but even though he realises all these things he can't seem to change. He doesn't message Emory but he feels an itching need to. He isn't entirely sure what he's meant to be doing in 'taking time for himself' either.

For a while, Pavel just resets to any pre-girlfriend stage of himself. He goes back to more intense study, does a lot more reading and focuses on hobbies instead. He feels like he's doing it to pass the time until he can be considered over his ex but he doesn't tell Alec that. Emory comes over and Pavel figures he should explain things. He knows Emory will understand, or at least hopes so. Alec is in close proximity and he'll make Pavel explain is he doesn't do it himself.

"Emory, can we talk?" he asks quietly. Alec takes the hint and leaves the room, giving his roommate a firm look before leaving.

She looks across at him and nods, seemingly a little worried about whatever he has to say.

"Alec brought something to my attention. He doesn't think I'm ready to start things again and I think he might be right. My last relationship was a year and a half and I can't get over that in the time we've known each other. I need to just take some time to make sure I've gotten over her before I really start things with you. I'm really sorry, but I think it's for the best."

Emory nods, as if she had kind of anticipated this. "We're still going to see one another, right? Just as friends but I'll still get to see you, right?"

"Of course you will," Pavel says quietly and he means it. He knows it'll be hard but it's necessary. He smiles and squeezes one of her hands. He feels that platonic affection won't be enough for him and he tells himself he's too drawn to Emory to keep his distance but he's willing to try. One part of him doesn't know whether it's her that's addictive or the idea of her. He tries not to think about it too much.

Alec tells Pavel he's doing the right thing once Emory has left. He kind of has a hard time believing him. Pavel goes to bed early and wakes up feeling no different from usual. He wakes up before Alec and tries to cook him a breakfast as a thank-you but his eggs turn out like rubber and he's pretty disappointed. Alec doesn't seem to mind but Pavel wishes he knew what he was doing wrong with cooking. He figures it's like science if anything but Alec correct him and says it's more like an art form, needing practise and an individual's touch. Pavel thinks he agrees but realises he was never particularly creative.

Pavel helps Emory prepare for her exams and spends the rest of his time in engineering. Emory reckons there's something magical about the way Pavel teaches her because she gets higher results than she's ever gotten and finally progresses past the 'barely passing' stage. Pavel is yet to ask her more questions about getting assigned to the Enterprise and he thinks that he's actually just scared to. He can't help but wonder if she's lying or there's something not quite right about the timing of her application. He doesn't think generally that first years get onto ships unless, like in his case there's some kind of emergency.

Their studying together slows and they have something to eat for a while. Alec reappears later and confirms that Pavel sorted things out. Alec had a strong feeling that Pavel wouldn't follow through but he's glad his roommate did. Emory emerges from the bathroom and Alec leaves the two in peace again. They go back to just sitting and talking together for a while and it's just relaxed for the both of them. Emory needs a break from exams and assessment and Pavel needs a break from himself.

Emory's still at Pavel's late at night and he wants to ask her to stay but he doesn't. He offers to walk her home and she accepts, not because she's scared of walking home alone this late at night but because she enjoys his company. They walk slowly together and laugh a little. Pavel considers taking her hand to hold but he doesn't. He finds it very hard to not be a couple when they simultaneously both are and aren't. He laughs at the thought, Schrodinger's couple, both together and not together.

(A/N)

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy.