Nobis ✴︎ Pavel Chekov

Chapter Fifty Five - Cold Company

They're in a large field of what looks like meteors and Pavel curses under his breath at the navigator he just relieved and looks where exactly they're positioned. The map starts playing out in his head and he envisions it in front of him, the meteors appearing as glowing red obstacles. He starts tapping away at the console, finding them a safer and faster path out of the meteor field. He's not paying complete attention but he can hear Spock saying something about the meteors creating an electromagnetic field messing with the Enterprise's systems. He's starting to find a clearer path out of the way and he feels himself buzzing at the thought. His brain is working suspiciously faster than usual and he feels a lot more in control of what he's planning out.

"Mr. Chekov?"

"Sorry?" He says, looking up and turning around. "Sorry Captain, I missed that."

"Can you get around all these meteors?"

"Ewen better Captain," he mutters, starting to get excited. "I can completely nawigate us our of this field within the next four minutes!"

"Fantastic, let's get out of here."

Pavel feels awkward giving Sulu so many instructions but despite their awkward moment just earlier they work incredibly well together. They get out of the field within a few minutes and Sulu doesn't seem to share his enthusiasm but he grins anyway. They're in a reasonably clear stretch of space and it seems like they should have clear sailing ahead. He stays on shift for another few hours and feels relieved to be finally finishing and moving away from Sulu. They're in the turbolift together again and he runs a hand through his hair awkwardly.

"Why are you in such a rush with Emory?"

"What do you mean? I'm not in a rush..."

"You may have disappeared for two months Pavel but it was less than a minute for you. She's probably still not ready to start things with you. She was still grieving, it can't be healthy for her to be jolted out of that suddenly and then go into this relationship with you."

"Sulu, with all due respect, this isn't your decision to make. Not for her and not for me. If this wasn't what she wanted she's the kind of person who'd voice it... She's said things that make me certain she's okay with us."

"You still have Irina on your mind. This isn't healthy for you."

"Why are you doing this? You're no doctor, you're no relationship expert... I'm sick of being lectured about my relationships. You, my old roommate, doctor McCoy... Everyone feels the need to tell me what I'm doing is wrong or push their own views onto me. This isn't about you, this is about Emory and myself."

"You know what? Fine, don't listen to anyone trying to help you. Don't listen to anyone who knows you or has some outside perspective. Don't listen to anyone who knows Emory as well as you. I spent every day with her after you died, I know more than you think I do."

He walks off then, fuming and leaving Pavel standing in the hallway. He's never seen Sulu snap before, he didn't think Sulu was even bothered by their relationship. He sighs, realising he can't head back to his room. He doesn't think seeing Emory is a good idea given circumstance and he figures his only real option is engineering.

Scotty finds plenty of things for Pavel to do. There's always something that needs altering or fixing and for the moment, those things are communicators. He finds a pair of earplugs so he can work in silence and fixes six of them before Scotty tells him to get some sleep. He's been up for far longer than he should be and he nods wearily, noticing how tired he really is.

"You need some rest lad, you don't look all that well. Just head back to your room okay?"

Pavel collapses onto his bed and only manages to remove his shoes before falling asleep. He has so much on his mind, he's just glad to escape it all.

Sulu isn't there in the morning. Pavel's just glad to avoid confrontation. He tries not to think too much about what Sulu said. He may have a point. She may still need some time to recover. He figures he better eat something and get out of the room as soon as possible. Running into Sulu might be a possibility and he's thinking Emory's room might be the easiest way to avoid him.

Emory isn't in her room and Pavel tries the mess hall next. He sees her in the back corner of the room but she's with Sulu and he sighs, realising that the two of them have spotted him and that he can't really escape now. He takes a seat with them and Sulu doesn't acknowledge that he's there.

"Don't," Emory warns, looking at Sulu.

"I'm not doing anything," he mutters, rolling his eyes at her.

"Don't roll your eyes at her like that," Pavel glares, starting to get annoyed at him for being arrogant.

"Look," he says, looking up at Pavel. "Don't even try it. This is between you and I, leave Emory out of this."

"Well it's obviously not. You're getting aggravated at me for being with Emory, this is about more than just me."

"Don't be an idiot, Pavel," Sulu bites, glaring back at him. "Stop playing the victim here. You were the one who disappeared, it's everyone else here that suffered, not you."

"Is this what this is about? The transporter malfunction? I had no control over that! Do you know what it's like coming back to a world where everyone was certain you'd died?! To break everyone's heart all over again from a completely uncontrollable factor? It's awful, Sulu. It's awful. Stop blaming me for something that I didn't do."

"You just don't fucking get it. You're trying to continue as you were, you're trying to continue and you're forgetting that all of us are still in this weird fucking recovery mode. We're trying to simultaneous come out of grieving and manage ourselves when we had to move on. You've just made it harder for all of us, Pavel."

"Sulu," Emory mutters, giving him a warning look. "Stop it. He's not in the same boat as we are. It's completely different for him."

"Stop defending him," Sulu groans, putting his cutlery down. "He's already trying to get in your pants, his 'allergies' to get you to come look after him. Then five minutes later you're both nearly naked."

"I instigated that," Emory says, more forcefully this time. "I was the one pulling my shirt off first, I was the one kissing him harder. Don't go blaming this on him. I'm the one starting everything, not him."

Sulu is a little stunned and says nothing, looking at her with a look of pure confusion.

"But... What you told me in the botany lab... What you said just after he came back..."

"That was supposed to stay between us," she says through gritted teeth, standing up and leaving the mess hall.

"What did she say?" Pavel asks, frowning at him for keeping secrets.

"You heard her," he mutters, sticking a fork back into his breakfast and glaring at him. "Not your concern."

Pavel leaves too, wondering where Emory would have gone to. He checks her room, he checks his. He checks the botany lab and sighs, wondering where else she may be. He uses the crew locator and finds her in a rec room, right near where he is. He goes inside, finding her alone, staring up at the ceiling.

"Emory, whatever it is you told Sulu... I don't care if you don't want me to hear it. As long as you're happy to stay with me... If you want to wait a while I can wait. I'll wait for you if that's what you need."

She leans onto his shoulder and rubs her eyes. "I don't know what I need. One part of me just wants you, the other part is so scared."

He puts a hand on her knee and just breathes slowly, wondering if Sulu has a point. He hates fighting. Ever since he got on the ship he's been caught up in one kind of drama or another. He's getting tired of it. He just wants everything to calm down long enough for him to enjoy her company.

They spend a while just sitting next to one another in the rec room and they don't talk much. Pavel wonders if Sulu will come and find them or if he'll awkwardly have to avoid his room again. He knows staying with Emory wouldn't be a good idea either and he sighs at the thought, thinking he should probably just go back to his room and suffer the awkward silence.