Nobis ✴︎ Pavel Chekov

Chapter Thirty One - What To Do

       
Pavel takes the following day off as well and spends most of it doing nothing. He's not used to having so much free time in one go and he finds himself a little bored later on. Sulu is on shift and he doesn't have the energy to go to engineering or anywhere around the ship where he might run into Irina. He reads for a while and listens to music. He sings quietly to himself and tries to figure out how he passed the time back in Russia before he started at Starfleet.

McCoy comes in and checks on Pavel, apologising about Irina bursting in. Irina felt quite guilty about coming in unannounced, she admitted that to McCoy later. Pavel just nods, he's not really sure how he's supposed to respond. The embarrassment still burns a little, he lets McCoy know that. He still isn't used to talking about his problems with Irina, he's used to sweeping them under the rug or drinking to avoid them. He explains the whole Emory situation and what happened in Russia. McCoy listens, connecting all the dots slowly. He's surprised Pavel's first reaction after finding out what happened was to drink himself into oblivion. He tells Pavel that he should try and talk about his problems rather than drinking and making them worse but the Russian can only nod half-heartedly in return.

Sulu asks how Pavel's going and for once he replies truthfully; that he's really not the best at the moment. Sulu sits down and asks what he's going to do about Irina and the possibility of continuing to run into her again. Pavel honesty doesn't know at this stage but he doesn't like the idea of sitting down and talking with her. He's hoping to just avoid her but he knows it's only a matter of time before she sits down and strikes up a conversation with him. Sulu suggests that he takes time to plan out what he's going to say and either write a message or tell her in person that he doesn't want to interact with her anymore. It sounds like their best option and Pavel takes a little time to map out how he really feels. He has a lot of arrows and dot points and his page is a bit of a mess. He doesn't know how he's supposed to put what's on the page into writing but what he has so far is a start.

Pavel has half a letter composed before he goes to bed. He plans to finish the other half of it after his shift tomorrow but for now, he feels a lot better than he did before Sulu suggested writing everything down. He feels refreshed when he's finally on the bridge again and he can work with a clarity he hasn't felt in a while. He keeps both Emory and Irina off his mind for the whole duration and eats with Sulu in the mess after. He feels like he's focused enough to spend a little time in engineering with Scotty and work on some of the practical elements he didn't finish from his course before leaving Earth. He's nearly fully qualified to work in engineering, although he's already treated as though he is anyway. Scotty is a one of a kind mentor, very practical and hands-on. Just the sort of break from textbooks and lectures that Pavel needed.

Halfway through his shift Pavel realises that he's still in two minds about the letter. He doesn't know whether or not to send it and he's trying to figure out how she'd react. A letter feels impersonal but he doesn't want to talk to her in person because of the stress it caused him last time. He drums his fingers against the side of the console and Sulu looks across at him. Sulu hasn't heard much from Emory recently and he reminds himself that he needs to message her and ask how she is. He wonders if Emory and Pavel will ever talk again, or what will happen if they run into each other.

Sulu remembers to message Emory after his shift and she tells him that she's doing alright. She's been busy with studying and admits that she could probably use Pavel's help. His tutoring made her course substantially easier and now she's gone back to barely passing. He's hoping to hear more about how she's going outside of study but decides not to push anything. They talk about studying and courses for a while and don't bring up anything Pavel related. She doesn't ask; he doesn't tell.

(Author's Note)

Sorry for the short and unexciting chapter but it needs to be there to connect the threads I've got going ~~
Enjoy