Nobis ✴︎ Pavel Chekov

Chapter Forty Five - Back with You

Pavel feels sick waiting for Irina to come in. He starts pacing, looking out the tinted glass and seeing her silhouette. He shakes his hands out, shakes his legs but no amount of shaking will prepare him for what he's about to put her through.

Irina covers her mouth as soon as she sees Pavel. A sob quickly escapes her lips. He walks over to her, pulling her into a hug. She holds him tighter than she ever did when they were together. She squeezes him and sobs, still not having said a word.

"I'm so sorry Irina," Pavel says in gentle Russian.

"Pasha," she whispers. "I thought I'd never see you again. Pasha... Pasha..."

She presses her head firmly into the crook of his neck and he squeezes her back gently, placing his own head on her shoulder and resting it against hers. She keeps sobbing, Pavel apologises again but she says nothing else. Eventually she lets go, wiping her eyes and pulling him over to the couch to sit beside her. She takes his hand so softly and so affectionately that he flinches a little. She doesn't notice, or if she does she says nothing about it.

"I missed you. I missed you so fucking much. I was so numb Pavel, so numb. I stopped eating, stopped sleeping. All I could think about was how lucky I was to have you and how much I hurt you... How I ever brought myself to do something to horrible when you've always been so loving to me. I still can't sleep knowing what I did to you..."

"Irina," he says softly. She keeps wiping her eyes and she shuffles closer to him. "Irina, I'm here now. I never meant to leave but I'm here now."

She curls up into his chest, still crying gently into his shoulder. He leans his head on hers, closing his eyes and wondering what other heartbreak he has install.

Irina eventually lets him go. He needs to have a shower, sleep and meet up with a few more people. No one has mentioned Emory and it's leaving him concerned. He waits until Irina leaves and asks McCoy about it, pulling him into a quiet corner and asking in a hushed tone, as if his questions were some kind of secret. McCoy swallows, knowing that the question was coming; knowing he'd have to answer it.

"She's on the ship," he says gently. "She on the Enterprise, Pavel."

He blinks his eyes a few times. Every part of his brain screams at him to see her but he stands there mutely, McCoy asking if he's okay. Pavel nods, asking if McCoy can bring her up to come see him. He nods, telling Pavel to wait in his office again. His whole body is starting to feel like jelly after everything he's been told but he sits in the office anyway, wondering how Emory will react. He never expected her to be on the ship. He didn't think he'd get to see her for another few months at least. Getting to see her so soon, he thinks about how bittersweet it is. Finally getting to see Emory again but coming back into a world where he was presumed dead... He tries not to think about it.

It takes Pavel a few seconds to comprehend that it's really Emory in front of him. She looks a little pale, a little stunned still. He can't tell if she's happy to see him or not. He approaches her a little cautiously, she keeps staring at him and he tries not to consider it unnerving. She finally breaks her stance, flinging his arms around him and holding him tightly. She's crying now and he is too, but he's crying because he's happy to have her here again.

"Emmy," he whispers.

"All that stuff you said about dying in space," she mutters. "I honestly thought you had gone. I honestly thought I would never see you again."

"I'm so sorry, Emmy," he whispers, squeezing her. "I am so sorry Emory. I didn't think anything like this would happen, not to me anyway."

She tightens around him, placing a kiss on his cheek. She loosens up, cupping his face with her hand. She pulls his lips into hers and his arms curl around her. Everything on his mind goes quiet, he can concentrate on her and just her. She kisses him slowly for what seems like forever. When they finally pull away she takes his hand and sits down on the couch, patting the space beside her. He leans back against her and she tangles her fingers in his hair.

His eyes close and all he can manage to tell her before he passes out sleepily is 'I missed you, Emory.'

When Pavel wakes up he realises he's still on the couch in McCoy's office with Emory. Everything comes flooding back to him, the transporter malfunction, Irina and Emory. He sits up and Emory stirs, asking him where he's going. He rubs his eyes and wonders if McCoy wants his office back. She sits up sleepily and motions for him to come sit back down.

"I was so scared I'd wake up and you wouldn't be here. I was so worried it was all just a dream, that I really had lost you."

"I was so worried I'd wake up and you would be back on Earth... I can't imagine how painful it must have been. I'm so sorry Emory."

"You saved my brother. You know that? He told me that you wouldn't let him go first because you were worried something would happen to him..."

"I didn't want to be the guy who killed your brother," Pavel mutters, sitting down. "I couldn't have lived with the guilt if that had happened."

"You're lucky you came back," she mumbles, a little bitterly. "I was a wreck in those two months. I don't know what I would have been like living like that any longer."

He nods, squeezing her hand reassuringly. There's a knock on the office door and McCoy opens it, closing it behind him and giving Pavel a slightly concerned look. Pavel thinks he knows why but just asks if McCoy needs his office back. He nods and asks if Emory will give them a moment. She nods, squeezing Pavel's hand and leaving.