Nobis ✴︎ Pavel Chekov

Chapter Fifty Eight - Eye Am Not Crazy

Eventually Irina goes to check on Pavel after McCoy lecturing her about having look after her patients, regardless of who they are. She checks over his vitals and doesn't say anything, still a little stung from seeing another girl kiss him just earlier.

"Didn't you say medbay was really busy? When I ran into you in the hallway, remember?"

"It was... I didn't even think about it, it just stopped being busy just before you came in. Maybe I'm going crazy too."

"Too?"

She looks over to him, swallowing. "I'm sorry that was poor word choice."

"I'm not going crazy, Irina."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"I think you're crazy if you think she's a good idea."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"For you, it wasn't all that long ago we were together. I mean, it was an extra two and a half months for her but I feel like you wouldn't have had the chance to get over us before you met her."

"I am so sick of everyone lecturing me about timing with her. Everyone is giving me their opinions, now you too?"

"Maybe if everyone's picking up on it, they have a point. I mean, you're in medbay potentially from stress induced hallucinations and memory lapses. I think you've been stressing from trying to add more to your plate than you need, that could very well be enough to-"

Pavel switches to Russian then, taking the opportunity to argue without having to translate everything in his head first. "Oh my God, Irina. Maybe I'm stressed because my girlfriend cheated on me, broke my heart, then tried to hookup with me when drunk, then succeeded in doing so, then I fucking died and after all that I come back to a world where everyone is mourning my loss and happy to see me again at the same time. Not to mention, coming back from fighting with you to you getting a fucking tattoo and telling me you love me!! How am I supposed to not be stressed when that only scratches the surface?! I can't handle everyone criticising the one person who is keeping me sane. Admit it Irina, you're jealous, you're jealous that she has exactly what you want."

"Chekov, why are you yelling at my head nurse?"

"Your head nurse just called me crazy."

"Irina?" McCoy looks to her, her eyes are watery and she moves over to him. He puts a hand gently on her back and asks softly if she's alright.

"Maybe I am," she says in Russian, looking over to Pavel. "Maybe, just maybe I am jealous." She tells McCoy she's going to restock the cupboards and walks off, leaving the two of them alone and looking at one another awkwardly.

"What do you keep doing to upset her?"

"Tell her the truth," Pavel admits, lying down and looking at the ceiling. "She said I was crazy and I told her everything that's going on. All the things happening that are making me crazy, her being one of them." He sighs and McCoy nods, not arguing this time.

"Maybe I didn't listen to you enough the first time around but she did hurt you and I know what it's like to have someone you love do that to you. I was in different circumstances but one part of be always believed that I could have fixed things if I'd just tried a little harder. I guess I was pushing that onto you. Hindsight or something, I don't know."

"Something like that," Pavel says with a weak smile. The doctor leaves him be for a while and Pavel spends some time just thinking about what everyone has said about him and Emory. One part of him is certain he's making the right decision. He needs her, whether he'll admit it or not.