Nobis ✴︎ Pavel Chekov

Chapter Forty Nine - Roller Coaster

       

McCoy puts two hypos in Pavel. He isn't entirely sure why but they make him dizzy before he questions them. Irina comes over and starts scanning him, asking if he's alright. He nods, muttering that it's just to confirm he's not deceased. Irina rolls her eyes. His heartbeat should be enough to confirm that he's living. She starts taking notes on her PADD and Pavel slowly feels like he's growing progressively dizzier. She asks if his diet has been normal since coming back and he doesn't respond, concentrating too hard on not tipping over. She frowns at him, asking again, still getting no answer.

"Pavel? Are you okay?"

"I feel dizzy," he mutters, placing a hand on his head. He looks up a little and tips forward, Irina steadying him and calling McCoy over.

"What vaccination did you give him?"

"Andorian Hepatitis and that new Klingon Influenza one."

"I don't plan on getting hepatitis anytime soon," Pavel mutters, still dazed.

Irina and McCoy look at one another and pull out another scanner. They lie Pavel down so he doesn't fall off the bench and he groans, clutching his head.

"I feel like the room isn't supposed to be spinning."

"No, it's not," McCoy grumbles. "You're reacting to the vaccination."

"Make it stop. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster and I want to get off."

"You love rollercoasters," Irina points out.

"Not this one."

McCoy presses another hypo into his neck and he groans, switching to Russian to curse freely at the doctor. He asks Irina for a translation, which she decides not to give. She's trying not to laugh and McCoy just rolls his eyes at them both. The room stops spinning a little for Pavel and he lies back, closing his eyes.

"He's out at the moment but he should be back in a few minutes. According to his history he's never had a reaction to any other vaccines. I wonder what's in this one that's giving him problems..."

"Hopefully it's not the transporter messing with his system," McCoy grumbles, looking through the contents of the vaccines. He has a feeling there's something else making Pavel disoriented, he's just not sure what. McCoy asks Irina to monitor him and she nods, looking over to Pavel as he sleeps.

Pavel wakes up panting and in a cold sweat. Irina is hovering over him and he shuffles back, realising that she's trying to talk to him.

"It's just a dream Pav, it's just a dream, calm down."

He nods and gives himself a second to catch his breath, putting a hand over his chest and swallowing. She places a hand gently on his back and starts scanning him again.

"What were you dreaming about?"

"I have no idea," he says honestly, trying to remember what he saw before he woke up. "I can't remember anything... I'm not even entirely sure how I got into medbay."

"You came in for McCoy to confirm that you're not deceased and he gave you some vaccines. You reacted to one of them and then you had the sedative that knocked you out..."

"Andorian hepatitis," he mutters, "Yes I remember now. Have... have I been out for long?"

"Only fifteen minutes," Irina says, looking at her watch. "Do you want some water?"

"Da, thank you."

McCoy comes back over and half an hour after his dizziness is cleared, Pavel's free to go. He's glad to be heading away from Irina. He's paranoid he'll let it slip that he' already read her letter. He knows that she loves him, it's a heavy weight to carry. He wonders if she only felt that way when the letter was written or if she still does. It's a frightening thought.

Emory finds Pavel in the mess hall and asks how he went with McCoy. Pavel explains the ordeal with the hypo and getting dizzy.

"At least you won't get Andorian hepatitis," she laughs, nudging his side. He grins and they eat together, Emory telling him about her run in with Sulu after she left his room. She tells him about their encounter when Pavel boarded the ship early. He listens, guilt still with him. Sulu has a brotherly kind of approach to the both of them, especially to Emory, who apparently reminds him of his own sister.

Emory leaves before him, having promised to help Sulu out in the botany lab for a little bit. He was basically running it whilst Pavel was considered gone. Emory spent some time there too, it was almost their way of grieving together. Emory doesn't mention that though. Pavel seems to have enough on his mind at the moment. He still needs to make the call to his parents. He hasn't figured out how to break it to them yet that he's alive. He keeps putting it off, telling himself that he should make the effort to visit them in person.

Moving out back towards his room, Pavel is a little dazed. He almost doesn't realise there's someone standing right in front of him.

"Who's she?"

Shit

"You scared me," Pavel manages, taking a step to move around Irina. "She's a friend."

"She was flirting with you," Irina points out, a slightly agitated look on her face.

"Does it matter?" he asks, starting to get annoyed with her tone. She's in no position to be getting annoyed at him.

"Who is she really?" Irina asks, still walking with Pavel.

"I told you already," he says, stopping and looking at her. "It's not your concern anyway. Why are you getting all angry at me about this, acting like this a huge issue for you?"

She doesn't say anything, just biting her lip and looking at him.

"Why Irina? Is it because you still love me?" He asks, his voice softening just a little.

"You read my letter? You bastard, I told you not to!"

"I read it before you asked me not to, it was the first one I picked up! Don't go calling me names, you're the one who put it in writing."

"I thought you were dead, that's why! I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Does that mean it's not true? Go on, tell me, is that still the case? Are you still in love with me Irina?"

She's crying by now, out of anger or sadness Pavel isn't sure but she still gives him a frustrated glare.

"Well?"

"Yes! I still do! You coming back was everything I needed, seeing you on the ship again was the wakeup call but having you back, that was like a fucking earthquake. I was going to tell you when I was ready... I was going to tell you everything. I love you, I still fucking love you and I can't stand here knowing you're completely uninterested but... But that's okay because it's my fault in the first place."

Pavel heart breaks a little as she tries to wipe the tears streaming down her face and walks away, breaking into a run as she's just a little further ahead. He wants to run and catch up to her, apologising for something he hasn't done, apologising for breaking her heart just like he broke hers. He knows what it feels like, feeling so lonely and so incomplete. He leans against the ships walls, breathing out and wondering what to do. Even after everything she put him through, he hates seeing her like this.