You never know what will happen, like these crashing waves in the ocean. It may come big or small. Like problems, it's up to us if we'll surf over it or let ourselves drown in monstrosity.
Sometimes I wonder why there's a need to fall in love. It just makes the world complicated! But it's the reason also why people multiply. Because of love, me, I'm made out of love of my parents and I'm sure i'll do it too in the future. I will have my own version of made love. Pero bago isipin iyon, kailangan ko munang ayusin ang alitan namin ni Sam at tukuyin ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.
Kung iisipin ng mabuti, mas marami pang tao ang may mas malalang problema sa pinoproblema ko. What is love life compared to problems in finances and families that others are experiencing. Umiling ako at ngumiti ng mapait, it's getting late and colder than ever. Yakap yakap ko pa rin ang mga tuhod ko, tulala habang nakatitig sa dagat.
Isinandal ko ang likod ko sa sun lounger at tumingin sa maliwanag na kalangitan. Pumikit ako at saglit na dinama ang katahimikan. Somehow, I feel so peaceful.
Naalala ko nung mga bata pa kami ni Sam. Were in elementary grade when I got bullied, he's years ahead of me. Tho, were both from star section. I'm on 4th grade and his on 6th.
Naglalakad ako noon papunta sa gym dahil ang sabi ni Kuya ay sumabay na raw ako kay Sam. Dahil masunurin ako, at wala naman akong magagawa, pupuntahan ko nalang siya. He texted me to go there and watch his practice game for a while.
Malayo palang ako ay naririnig ko na ang mga sigawan ng mga babae na humahanga sa kanya. I crinkled my nose and covered my ear. They're too loud! I said in myself. Pumasok na ako at nagsisimula na pala ang practice, but whoa! It feels like there's a game here, may mga hinanda pang banners ang mga babaeng ito... Natawa ako.
Instead of going near Sam. I've decided to go here on the bleachers. I wanna watch him from a far. Pawis na pawis siya, it seems like he need an extra towel and water. I have but i'm shy, baka akalain pa ng mga ito, may gusto ako sa iniidolo nila.
Sam's dribbling the ball when his sight goes on me. Ang kanina ay nag aalala niyang mukha, ngayon ay tila nagliwanag. Kumaway ako at ngumiti sa kanya, tumango siya at ngumiti pabalik. Agad namang tinignan ng mga babae kung saan siya nakatingin, and they found me. The amusement in their eyes now turned into unexplained anger. Inirapan nila ako at tumingin muli kay Sam. Well, I don't care really, i'm here for him not for them, but then I feel so small, imbis na irapan sila pabalik, yumuko nalamang ako.
"Wait for me, malapit na mayari." He mouthed.
I just nodded. "Yes, practice well."
Humupa ang tilian ng makita nila ang saglit na palitan namin ng salita. Maya-maya ay lumapit sa akin ang tatlo sa mga babaeng, kanina'y sumisigaw at nag che-cheer sa kanya. They blocked my sight. Pinagitnaan nila ako.
I look at them from head to foot. Their hair were curled like a bubble. Red lipstick covered their filthy lips. And their skirt isn't that long like ours. It's shorter than the word mini can explain.
"So, the ugliest person in town is here..." Panimula ng nasa gitna. I don't know her, but with the pin she have, she's probably of Sam's age and grade too.
Tumawa ang mga kasama niya. "Yeah, a lunatic girl who knows nothing but to dream of Sam."
I wanna laugh so bad, but I tried to compose myself. I'm not a warfreak.
"Ano ang ginagawa mo dito? Hindi mo ba alam ng bawal ang pangit dito?"
"I'm jusy waiting for-" I'm explaining but she cut my words. How rude.
She laughed. "You're waiting for Sam!? My goodness! Napaka ilusyunada mo naman para asahan na sasabay siya sa'yo." She mocked and the girls beside her laugh too.
Grabe ha! Gustong gusto ko ng patulan ang isang ito. Pero dahil punong puno pa ako ng delikadesa, hindi ko gagawin. I won't go down their level. Hell, I will not, ever! Instead of fighting with them, kinuha ko ang mga gamit ko, akmang tatayo na ako ng hinigit niya ang braso ko.
"H'wag kang bastos! Kinakausap ka pa namin!" Sabay hawak ng dalawa nyang alipores sa dalawang balikat ko. Bumagsak ang libro na hawak ko sa lupa.
I'm trembling. I'm scared of what they are capable of doing. Just because of their attraction to Sam, acan't believe it. They're thinking that me and Sam, are lovers!
"Bitiwan niyo nga ako!" Pagpupumiglas ko.
She smirked and walk closer to me. Her hands was about to go on my face when some voice echoed in the whole gym.
"Get your damn hands off her or I'll snap your neck right now." Mariin at puno ng lamig ang pagkakasabi ni Sam. I look at him and all I can see is anger. Agad agad namang inalis ng nga babaeng ito ang kamay nila sa akin.
The girl who tried to slap me is now scared and trembling. Agad akong dinaluhan ni Sam.
"S-sam? We..w-were just asking her something." Maarte niyang sabi. But Sam didn't mind her, his focused on getting my books. "I-ilisyunada kasi, ang sabi ay sabay daw kayong uuwi." She mocked.
Sam turned to her. "Yes, do you have a problem with that, Maica?"
So Maica's the name of this bitch. Hinilot ko ang braso ko na namula dahil sa pagkakahawak nila. Inayos ko ang bangs ko na nagulo at salamin na malapit ng maalis.
Namutla siya at tila nawalan ng dugo. Her two friends, already runaway. Tila nasindak.
"Y-you mean? Y-ou two?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong.
"Yes. And the next time you do that to her and everyone here who'll try to nag her," Sigaw niya na sapat lang para marinig ng mga babaeng masama ang tingin sa akin kanina. "I will forget that all of you are girls, you hurt her? You'll all see how I hurt women." His voice echoed.
"Stop, i'm fine." Saway ko sa kanya.
Tumingin siya sa akin at ngumiti pero hindi pa rin maaalis sa mga mata niya ang pag aalala. "No... I won't allow someone to hurt you, sweetie." Sabay halik niya sa tungki ng ilong ko.
"You're too clingy!" I chuckled. Sanay na ako.
"Ikaw lang e, ayaw mo kasing maniwala na mahal kita." Sabi niya.
Tumawa naman ako at tinulak siya. He's always joking me that. Sanay na ako. Hinatak niya ako palayo sa gym at hinatid sa bahay.
Tila kidlat ang mga pangyayari, mabilis dumaan ang panahon at grumaduate na ako sa elementarya. Not having him for two years is a hell! I have to deal with bullies, until I became high school too.
"Oh ayan na naman si Betty, papunta nanaman kay Sam.." His classmate mocked.
Yumuko nalang ako at dumiretso ng lakad papunta sa laboratory kung saan kami magkikita. Miss na miss ko na kasi siya, minsan na lang kami magkita at puro saglit lang dahil palagi siyang may katawagan. Hindi na rin siya nagkekwento kung ano ang nangyayari sa kanya. Simula ng mag high school siya, parang may iba na itong pinagkakaabalahan. Akala ko ba mahal ako nito? Well, I laughed! I'm just grade four when he said that and why I am expecting him to be serious? Maybe because I love him too. As a friend? Hmm, no, more than just a friend. I can feel it, but i'm scared. He don't like me, he just like me because we're friends. I smiled, sadly.
Today we're gonna see each other. Masaya siyang tumawag kanina para sabihin na may maganda siyang balita, at ako din. Sasabihin ko na sa kanya na gusto ko siya higit pa bilang kaibigan. Alam ko na nakakahiya itong gagawin ko but I want to take risks. I want to be brave even if in the end I will get nothing but great pain. It will be a relief, for me knowing that I've already said what I wanted to say from the start.
Nasa harap na ako ng laboratory. Kinakabahan ako. May malamig na pawis na tumulo sa aking noo. Pinunasan ko ito, at pinilit na i-angat ang paa para makapasok sa loob.
Siya lamang ang inaasahan ko na makita ngunit, may kasama pala siya.
Parang gusto ko ng umatras.
