Ladders

Meeting him

Does fate hate me? Is there a God out there? I've never felt Him through all the trag
All these thoughts plagued his mind as he could hear his family talking about money. Money was all that they talked about anymore, no more conversations on what's for dinner, what movie came out, nothing like that. Just money. It's what made the world go round, and yet Emil hated it so much. It caused so much stress and anger between his family. It caused the fear of never having enough. He hated it. He sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his head in between his knees. Emil heard his older brother talking in a worried tone that differed from his usual monotone voice. "That business fell through and now we have to get money fast, we've been okay till now but if we do not get money in fast we are loosing everything". The conversation about money turned sour in a matter of minutes. Shouts of them arguing filled the halls of their house."Well if you didn't loose your fucking job and loose all of our savings we would be fine!" His brother shouted at the Danish man who he has been in a relationship with. "The company fell through! And why aren't we yelling at Berwald! He's the one who destroyed the fucking business!". Then came a higher pitched voice "he did not! You're the one who couldn't manage it! Same with you Lukas! You were suppose to take responsibility with that business as well! But as I thought, you both couldn't even handle that!" As the fight continued it got louder and angrier, but Emil shut it out. Emil laid on his bed, and let sorrow fill his body. Trying to remember how they got into this mess. Oh right. God hates him. Emil remembers the car crash, the loud knock at the door, and the sirens. He remembers the police sitting him and his brother down, he remembers the tears and the pain. And most of all the early goodbye that was never suppose to happen. Thankfully his brother had been old enough to keep Emil. It'd be bad enough to be orphaned but to have to be torn from his brother and thrown into foster care. Emil shook his head knowing if that were to have happened, he would have had a short life as well. They had to keep the little family they had left together. Without each other what else did they have left? He smiled, his brother had always done his best to keep Emil happy. The fight started to calm down and the shouts soon turned to whispers. His brother always tried to hide the fact that they struggled for money. It never worked. He had watched his brother stay up late at night with his boyfriend trying to make enough money. Doing endless amounts of paperwork, going to job interview after job interview. But nobody wanted to hire a schizophrenic boy who had to drop out of high school just to support his little brother. His brother always made high honor roll, he always had the best grades, but had to throw it all away just because of a drunk driver. Then there was Berwald and Tino. He watched their two friends who lived with them struggled to stay together as a couple because of an eating disorder, an affair and money. Emil knew secrets about everyone but those are secrets he shall not ever tell. One that would always haunt him is watching the Finnish man he considered family come home drunk with a tall blonde man from Estonia. It never happened often but when it did he always got pangs of guilt watching the Swedish man who he also considered family, just going on with his day not knowing the secrets that happened in his shared bedroom. His family was dysfunctional but he loved them all so much. Each one of them had always been there for him. Now he feels useless as he watches them fall apart and he can't do anything. Emil jumped as he heard a voice, breaking him from his thoughts.
"Emil?" A knock followed the sound of his brothers voice. "Come in" was the only reply he got. The older blonde walked in and sat on the edge of the boys bed. "You heard that didn't you?" His question earned him a sigh "I hear it every time". His brother frowned, he knew he heard them but he tried his best to hide the problems from his little brother. "Lukas, I know you say to keep my head up and be strong but I can't" he sat up and looked straight at his brother. "How am I suppose to act like this doesn't bother me? First mom and dad died, then your schizophrenia, then Tino's eating disorder!". Tears had began to stream down his face as he told his brother everything "how am I suppose to tell you that I'm okay with everything! Let me get a job, I can help. Let me do something! I can even do online schooling!". Even with his pleading face his brother stuck to his same reply "no Emil. I know it's hard right now, but focus on your studies. That's exactly what mom and dad wanted. Please, do it for them". His brother quickly gained his composure back and laid back down. "Fine" was all he said. Lukas sighed and sat back up and left the room.
Soon the sky had turned grey and everyone had fallen asleep. Except the youngest. He's not going to let his family fall apart any longer. His mind raced as he dressed himself and snuck downstairs from his room. Sadly Tino's dog had seen him and ran up to him for attention. He smiled and gave the dog one last piece of attention before he ran out of the house, hoping that would satisfy the dog enough as to not bark when he left. As he walked he thought about earlier. He didn't mean to bring his brothers problem back up. Lukas hates his schizophrenia. Emil does as well. He begins to think about when he would have bursts after his parents death. He'd scream, yelling that dad was angry and their mom was trying to take Emil away. His brother would crawl into the corner of whatever room they were in and start crying and clawing at his own arms. Emil felt as he could do nothing because every time he tried to comfort his older brother, it would seem as he was just a ghost to Lukas. After he began taking his medication he started a more stable life. The pills still didn't completely cover up his schizophrenia. He'd still have his outbursts. That was until Mathias came along. He calmed and protected Lukas. Something Emil found himself jealous that the danish man was able to instantly calm down his brother when it took Emil hours. He also praised the Dane for this. He always wondered what his brother was thinking, was he hearing voices 24/7? He thoughts were cut short when he saw his destination. This building everybody knew. The building people who have lost it all have been forced to go to. It was tucked away in a series of apartment buildings but it wasn't hidden. This is the building where Emil would loose his life for money. Emil breathed and pushed open the door and walked in. He shivered as he walked to the front desk where the lady sat quietly typing away. She was a rough looking women, maybe around her mid forties. Her eyes and skin were dull and held little color.  She looked up "who did you reserve?" She asked with no emotion. She sounded as though she had said this over a million times. But in all honesty she has. The same sentence she had to say to keep her job. He stuttered as he talked to the lady. He wanted to run away quickly and go back to his family. He wanted to find another route to get money. Money doesn't come quick any other way though. He should run away from this horrid place. But they needed money and he needed to do this. Do it for them. Quit being selfish. "I- I I didn't reserve anyone... I came h-here to..." she looked at him wide eyed and said "you don't want to be the one being reserved do you?" Her voice was filled with shock, she wanted him to say no and leave. She's watch countless women and sometime men have to sell themselves just to survive and she hated sending them back to her boss. She couldn't try and convince them other wise but she had to with some as they usually were only teenagers or in their early twenties. Emil nodded at the lady. She spoke quietly as if she were to be caught it would not be good "you'll be loosing your life to this man? Are you sure?". He quickly nodded his head "I need the money, my family they need it". She shook her head and said sadly "I understand". Truth be told, she did understand. Her mother was in debt and about to go to jail. Being only just a teen but having to saraficing yourself for your family. Nobody could relate more than the dull eyed lady behind the desk. She pointed to a door behind her desk "go in there and tell the boss what you want". He did as told and walked towards the old wooden door and opened it slowly, hesitating knowing what he was doing. He pushed it all the way open to reveal a large office with a desk in the middle of the room. He pushed the door closed and sat on the chair in front of the desk. Behind the large desk was a scruff looking man. He was obviously tall and muscular. He had dark curly hair and a small stubble. He looked up and had dark brown eyes. The mans face was unreadable till he smirked "the only reason I ever get people back here is they are in need of money and they sell their body to me. Is that what you want boy?". Emil nodded shyly and looked his hands, he wanted to avoid look at the man. His stomach churned even hearing the mans voice, and his eyes were ready to burst into tears. Every part of him was yelling at him to run. To get away from this awful man."Well tell me your name and age" he said. "Emil Steilsson, I'm sixteen" he said "Virgin?" The gruff man said causing Emil to fluster "w-what?" The older man repeated "you heard me, are you a virgin?" Emil only nodded. "That's good, I can price you higher". Emil hated that, he was being priced higher just for his virginity. He always thought he'd loose it to someone he truly loved not someone who could just pay enough. While Emil was thinking the man took out a contract and put it in front of him. "This states that I get 45% of what people pay for you and that you are my property. It also states whenever I feel fit I can use you to my pleasure, now sign" he said the last part sounding very demanding. Emil's whole body shook as he picked up the paper work and sighed. His hand shook violently as he moved the pen, putting his signature in permanent ink. He now belonged to this to the man. The man grinned and took the paper, signed it himself, and placed it in his cabinet. He then broke the tip of the pen and threw it in the garbage. It was like he was a judge who just signed a death sentence. "Now time to get you out there, you start now". He gruffly grabbed Emil and dragged him upstairs to a hallway that was long and had doors lining them. They walked down to the very last door and the man opened it and shoved Emil in. "This is your room, anybody who rents you will know you by your room number. You get to go home after I dismiss you". The man slammed the door shut leave him alone. Emil shivered and looked at the room. All that lined the room was a bed in the middle of it and a night stand with a lamp on it. On the other side of the bed was a cabinet with a lock on it and a note that Emil quickly read 'to rent toys will cost another 45 dollars'. Emil whimpered and sat on the bed. He's no longer Emil Steilsson he was simply a number that would be used to pleasure people. A few tears escaped his eyes and he knew this was for the best of his family. Maybe nobody will bid on me tonight. Maybe I can just go home after awhile, hopefully.

Though what he wished was pure, the outcome of the night would be the exact opposite.