Ladders

Wrist

Emil watched the rain pour as he sat at his window seal, clutching a small razor. It had dried blood on it and so did his wrists. Nobody was in the house except him, and something told him that it would relieve the pain. He only did three cuts on his left wrist before stopping after becoming scared that Leon might find him hideous with the cuts. He already knew Leon hated his own body that was littered with cuts. Emil didn't cry when he did it, he just stared at the thin red lines. In his mind he felt like he should be crying but his mind felt so numb. The only time he really felt in the moment was being afraid Leon would find his body hideous, but even that feeling started to fade. It was almost like he had cried all the tears he could ever cry in his life. He slowly looked back up from his wrist back to the window after seeing a flash of lighting. He didn't want to work tonight but he knew he would have to. Part of him though, didn't care what would happen if he just stayed in bed and didn't go and please his clients. He didn't care what would happen once Mr.Vargas saw him again and would beat him for missing a day. He just did not care. Maybe when we went back to the brothel it might reignite some sort of emotion in himself. Fear? Sadness? Anger? Something. He wanted to escape this emotional numbness that has been over taking his life. The only thing he really felt anymore was dread. He felt dread to wake up. Maybe he could go back to the bridge and try to jump. God knows Gilbert wouldn't save him again...or ever. He ruined that friendship. And Madeline and Feliciano wouldn't be too hurt, after everything, they will never be the same again. He will never feel as close to either of them ever again. His family would also save money. Leon would be free of their pitiful relationship. Emil was truly no reason to be alive. He raised the razor and pressed it into his wrist as hard as possible. Emil grunted out a scream as he slide it down further. The razor had no trouble slicing through his skin. Blood poured from the broken skin and fell onto his clothing. He stumbled off the window seal, he tried making it to the bathroom so he could wash the blood off his wrists but he fell to his knees. He bite his lip as he grabbed onto his bed post and tried pulling himself up off of his carpet that was littered with dirty laundry. He finally managed to gain his strength back as his staggered in to the bathroom with a clouded mind. In his mind he was reaching for the sink and turning it on, but physically he was doing nothing. His arms just held each other and his gaze was fixated on the  faucet. He kept think about moving his bleeding arm towards the sink but he never did. Instead Emil pushed his back against the bathroom wall and slide down until he was sitting on the cold tile. He watched blood seep out from his arms "maybe I cut a vein" he said out loud to nobody. It wasn't a statement nor a question. Just words he said aloud. He wasn't worried nor scarred, just immune to the feelings his body was trying to convey. Emil reach back into his pocket and with quite a bit of a struggle he pulled it out and dialed Leons number. He just wanted to talked to him, see if he could be helped out of his state of mind. The phone soon dropped onto the tile floor and Emil just hit the speaker button. He didn't even try to pick it up as once again he did not care. He yawned as he heard the phone ring with little pauses in between. His eyelids felt heavier than usual and curling up under a bunch of blankets sounded like heaven to Emil. He was becoming colder and colder each second but the blood running down his arms felt warm. It was like hot chocolate that had lost its heat but still had some warmth. Soon the phone stopped ringing and an automated voice came through telling Emil that Leon didn't answer and to leave a message. After the beep signaling him to leave the voicemail, he stayed quiet for around 30 seconds before taking a deep breath "Leon, I did something. I'm sorry". He then moved his good arm towards the end button and laid back in peace. He wondered why he apologized. It's not like he didn't know what he was doing with the razor, but the words just fell off of his tongue. As he closed his eyes the bathroom light slowly got dimmer and dimmer. He didn't want to go to sleep yet, but his body was forcing him too. And soon he was swept into darkness.

Just like Chun-Yan

Leon yawned as he mopped the floor of the restaurant. He was tired but also very anxious. He didn't particularly know why and just pushed the stone in his stomach as his anxiety causing him to worry for no reason. He looked up from the floor and towards a booth where his sister was with her phone plugged in and next to it was his that was also charging as it had been dead for most of his shift. "Sis, is my phone charged?" The young girl looked at her brothers phone and nodded "yep. Emil called you an hour ago and left a voicemail". Leon nodded "toss it to me, I wanna see what he said". His sister nodded and lightly tossed the beat up phone. He opened it and played the 40 second long voicemail. Though by the 28 second mark he stopped the voicemail "I think he must of accidentally left a voicemail, it's all just static". He walked over to the booth where his sister was and set his phone back down so he could continue his chores  "Remind me to call him back once we get home. I need to catch him before he goes to work". She nodded and went back to her phone, while Leon went back to his work. If only he had listened for two seconds longer.

Just like Anya

Alfred and Matthew had parked their old car in front of Emil's house. They had been waiting for around an half an hour for him to come out as they all went to the brothel at the same time. Alfred tried calling him multiply times but with no response. Matthew shook his head "we should probably get going or we might be late. Maybe he already got a ride there and left his phone". Alfred slowly turned his gaze away from the small blue house and nodded. "Yeah I guess. I mean I'm just worried that once we leave he'll come out and look for us. Should we go check on him? I mean he keys a spare key under the front door welcome mat". Matthew shrugged "I don't think we should Alfie but Mr.Vargas will be more angry if all three of us are late instead of just Emil". Alfred slowly turned on the car and pulled away from the house "yeah you're right". If only they had gone to check.

Just like Emil