Ghost In The Snow

Chapter 35: Prayers

Trigger warning: Cutting is mentioned

"Are there more concerts tomorrow?", I asked as we all ran up the stairs at the hotel. "I think so, but we have to go home before they start", Ray answered, glanced at me for a second. "My bag is so heavy", Bob sighed. His bag wasn't big and it didn't look heavy at all. "That's not true", Frank burst out. He had his guitar around his neck, plus his sports bag. And Frank was way smaller than Bob. "Shut up", Bob said and pushed Frank, so his elbow hit my side.

"Ow?", I said when Frank didn't say sorry. It was like he hadn't noticed. "What?", he mumbled casually. "You're not going to say sorry?" "For what?" "That elbow in my boob?", I asked and squinted my eyes at him. "I didn't touch your boob", Frank laughed, "I wish I did, but no." He giggled, then looked away from me. I sighed as Gerard took my hand. I glanced at him and he smiled a bit. I smiled back, or at least I wanted to, but I was so tired after a long day.

We reached the top of a set of stairs, and finally Ray got the keys out and called out: "This is our room!"

I was trying to peek inside, but Frank ran in front of me. Sometimes he really acted as a rat. I couldn't resist to chuckle at him. Gerard smiled at me, showing his small teeth a bit, "what are you smiling at?" He really wanted to know, but it was one of those things he wouldn't understand anyway. "Nothing", I mumbled and shook my head, still smiling.

We came inside the hotel room. It was a big room with beige walls, five wide beds plus their nightstands, a small balcony with a single potted plant, a brown, crusty leather sofa and some few kitchen counters with a mini fridge and a sink.

But we entered this lonely place, and there were already problems. "Uhm", Ray scratched his neck. "There are only five beds." "But we are fi-" I looked at Bob.

Fuck.

How do you simply forget a person like that?

I was just about to break down, it had been such a long day and the last thing I needed were problems about who should sleep on a couch because they had been playing a concert and I hadn't. I really didn't need to hear their complaints, how tired they were, all the stupid details from the concert, them complaining about the mistakes not even a professional would notice.

"I don't think Gerard and Tess would have a problem sharing a bed", Frank smirked and chuckled. Gerard looked at me with the same smirk.

I suddenly felt super small. Not because of their smirks, I just felt weird. Honestly, I was so emotional, I just wanted to cry. I felt like something inside me had changed, something was against me. Like I had to fear something. Fear something I knew, but its thirst for fear was unknown to me. Its thirst for revenge.

But if I cried, I would cry out on Gerard's shoulder anyway.

I didn't want to ever let go of him.

We're together in this fight called life.

Right until the end.

"Nah, I don't mind sharing a bed with Gerard", I said and smiled. Ray sighed in relief, "sometimes your relationship is helpful." Frank ran over to the bed closest to the balcony. He laid his guitar safely on the floor, then smashing himself down on the bed. "Urgh!", he exclaimed, when he landed on the soft mattress. Gerard walked down to the bed, which was on the opposite side of Frank's. I followed Gerard, and Ray sat on the bed next to us. He smiled to me like everything was great. And it really was, I didn't know what made me feel so weird and sad.

Bob pushed Mikey over to the bed next to Frank's. "But I don't want to-", Mikey muttered, but his voice disappeared when Bob almost yelled: "I'm not sleeping in the bed next to Frank's!" Bob crashed on the bed closest to the kitchen, forcing Mikey to sleep close to Frank.