Nikki Shay & Co.

Chapter 18 Part 1

I was very happy. So happy I think that people thought I was crazy. Finals were over and I really liked my classes. Chemistry 2, English 1, Algebra 1, U.S History, World History, Mass Media, Spanish 1 and 2D Art.

And I was a bit anxious too. It was Brett's first day and I wanted to find him. I heard a few girls talking about a new boy, but they didn't tell me anything. At one point, I thought Brett might've led me and Nick on about coming.

Then lunch came around.

"Hey, Nikki!" I whirled around, almost face to face with Brett. I smiled and attacked him with a hug. "Woah, calm down!" He said as he hugged me back.

"I thought you might've had second thoughts about coming!"

"Why would I give up on my New Years resolution like that?"

"Well, you could be certain part of a girl's body..." Brett's friendly smile turned into a disgusted smile, then he started laughing. It was more of an inward laugh, where no sound came out.

"Let's just go to where you sit." I led him over to the table and introduced him to everyone. Well, Gene didn't count, since they knew each other from a performing arts summer camp.

When I finished my sandwich, Brett was still talking about what it was like to be in a soap opera from when he was younger. He was cracking everyone up about how no one could be taken seriously on set.

"Nikki," someone tapped on my shoulder.

"Oh hey Ben," Chris smiled. "Do you want to sit with us?"

"Uh maybe, I just need to talk to Nikki first." I got up and followed Ben out into the hallway.

Ben looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep in days. He looked like he was was so very depressed. I felt glum just looking at him.

"Are you okay?" I asked Ben. "You don't look well."

"I really miss you. It makes no sense as to how much I l-miss you. I shouldn't feel this way about you."

"You barely even know me, Ben."

"That's the point! I don't know what to do." Then he look at me with his dark brown eyes. I didn't understand why he looked in pain. Maybe he thought I was using him or something, but I thought he was using me.

I let him pull me to his lips and let all of his pain come out. His emotional pain pulled me deep into his kiss. It felt like there was some type of longing and hidden passion. I loved it, but I couldn't let it go on. Ben needed to know that we couldn't work out. Even though I wanted to keep kissing him, I pulled away and looked straight into his eyes.

"Ben, I want you to know that we need to stop this," I said when I caught my breath. "This isn't supposed to be happening. We aren't supposed to always make out. We aren't supposed to have feelings for each other. I want you to know that I do love you, though. I love you as a person, because you aren't that jerk I knew. You have feelings and you can be a good person. Remember when you said that there were so many fish is the sea? I'm not one of those fish that you should be going after. I know that this is hurting you, because it's hurting me, but just stop. Whatever this is or was needs to stop." That's when I grabbed Bens hand. I smiled at him and he gave me a small back. I didn't know what was going to happen between me or Ben. We just walked back into the cafeteria. I was still holding his hand.

"Lasharee, can you scoot over a seat so that Ben can sit down?" And so Lash scooted over. She was gleaming at the hand holding. Later on I would tell her that it was for support. Ben was going to say that he loved me, in a different way that I loved him. I was sure I cracked his metaphorical heart. I squeezed his had a little. We were just friends, nothing more. Ben squeezed a little back.