Nikki Shay & Co.

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I was home alone with him. My step-dad.

I cut myself. My family knows, my friends know. I don't tell anyone why. Thankfully they've stopped wondering. They know I don't cut my veins, just skin and muscle. I let out my anger when I cut myself, my frustration, everything I don't want to show people.

"Go to the bathroom, take a shower, don't dry off," he told me when I dropped my bag.

"Okay," I whispered, while walking into the bathroom. This was the other reason why I cut myself. Because I was molested by my step-dad and couldn't stop it. The first time I tried to stop it he hit me, a lot. I had to tell my mom I got beat up on the way home from the park that summer. That's how bad it was.

Sometimes Lawrence told me that he would leave my mom. He told me that once his daughters replied to one of his letters, he wiuld go back to Canada. I hoped they would write him back soon.

"Your growing," Lawrence said while touching me.

"I know," I whispered. 'No, duh idiot! It's my body!' I thouht. "Is this why your daughters won't talk to you?"

"What?" he yelled, squezing my arm and balding his fist.

"Nothing," I winced.

"No, what were you going to say?" he raised his voice a bit, and tightened his grip.

"Is this why your daughters won't talk to you? Because you do this to them?" I winced. I saw anger in his eyes. He pulled up his fist. I prepared for impact. Luckily for me mom yelled: 'I'm home!' I quickly pulled on my robe and ran out of the bathroom, to greet my mother, Eliza. I think my mom is really nice and deserved better than Lawrence, who was a computer salesman.

--

After dinner, I walked into the attic, which was Nick's bedroom. Of course he wasn't here, he always snuck out after dinner. I left his room and went outside to the pool. Ashley was out there with her feet in the water.

"I was wondering when you would come out," Ashley said.

"I wanted to see if Nick was still at home," I said.

"Is he?" Ash smiled. She had a huge crush on Nick, ever since she met him in middle school. That was reason why she became my friend in sixth grade, to get closer to Nick. Nick was an eighth grader at the time and wasn't interested in Ashley at all. We stayed friends, though, and have been best friends since.

"NO, I don't get why you like him," I said, dipping my toes in.

"He's hot," she answered happily. I sighed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said. Chris was really mad at me and Lawrence almost hit me. Ashley grabbed my arms and turned them over. She checked to see if there were any new marks, and there weren't any.

"Good, so guess what?" Ashley asked.

"No idea," I answered.

"We are going on a trip over fall break! It's going to be me, you, Lasharee, Nick and everybody else, and Chris if you guys are okay by then..." Ashley babbled, continuing on about how we were going to stay at a cabin, and it went on and on.

After Ashley climbed over the fence -yup, she's my next door neighbor- I went back inside to get ready to go to sleep. I put on some pajama short and a tank top. I slipped my monkey slippers onto my feet. Then there was some tooth brushing, face washing action. Afterwards I went to the attic and waited for Nick to come home. He came in at 10:30.

"Oh, hey," he smiled while he climbed through the window into his room.

"Can I sleep in here?" I asked. I always slept in Nick's room when Lawrence touched me. Of course Nick didn't know that was why I would slept in his room.

"Yeah, of course." He set up his folding wall and changed behind it. I went and sat on his comfy bed. It was a pillow top, another reason why I slept in his bed and not the futon that was also in his room. "You're welcome to sleep in my room whenever." Nick said while folding up the wall that he changed behind.

"Thanks," I smiled. He flopped onto the bed with me, and wrapping his arms around me.

"Everything's going to be okay," he told me.

"I hope so," I said, I pulled the covers over us. "SO what were you out doing?" I asked, in my normal voice.

"I shouldn't tell you," he said. I turned onto my back so I could look at him.

"You didn't just do it, did you?" I asked.

"No."

"You were at Chris'?" I asked.

"Yeah, I tried to get him to call you," Nick said. "I guess he didn't, but he will forgive you, soon."

"Again, I hope so," I said.

"I swear he will. And I didn't just stop by Chris'."

"What'd you do?" I asked.

"I went to Miranda's house."

"Cousin Miranda? How is she and John?" I asked, I felt like I was asking too many questions.

"Their good! Miranda is having a baby!"

"Really?! That's good." There was silence after I said that.

"We need to go to sleep, we are going on a jog in the morning."

"Okay," I sighed, "Goodnight." I turned back over and let Nick put his hand on my arm, right where Lawrence held it. I winced, it still hurt.

"What's wrong with your arm?" Nick asked.

"It's nothing," I laughed a bit, so he wouldn't panic.

"It doesn't feel like nothing!" I looked at my right arm. It was starting to swell. "What happened?" I guess it was time for this to come out of the closet, just not in that way.

"I was just really nervous while I walked home, and I just held onto my arm really hard." I lied. It wasn't time to tell him.

"Oh okay, I thought someone hurt you again," Nick breathed out while laying back down.

"Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams."