Twisted knots

•1•The beginning

Being that kind of girl that I am is hard you know. I mean being pretty, and smart. Usually your pretty and dumb.

My mom died a few years after I was born . For year's I thought it was my fault . I had to go to a therapist from when I was 8 till a year ago now. We talk about my problems, like at school for how I act. I told her this was not because of my mother's death , but because this is who I choose to be. No one knows the real me or the real story to my mothers death, even I don't know but this year I will find out how she died. The real reason.

You know how someone that is married to that person dies, and doesn't even cry over the death or even within a month of the death they're with some other chick. Well this person happen to be my asshole of a father, not even a father to be honest. Like lets get real here you could tell he was in it for the money and never did like or even love her. My father abused me and told me it was my fault she was dead but however , I knew it wasn't, but he had me believe it was, because of him I had to see Dr. whatever her name is. I've had a different one every time we move because no one can "handle" me at school or anywhere.

So now I live with my step brother who is adopted and is two years older than me. We live in a good size house.

Our parents live four hours away and have no clue where we live. Every time they find us we pack up and leave.

My brother Holden and I don't exactly live alone together he has his best friend with him as well so we can three way split the rent. His best friend and him have been close since kindergarten well at least I think. Well who cares. His name happens to be Blake which is one of my favourite guy names honestly.

"Jor, what are you doing!?" Blake calls out with my nickname. I didn't answer because I love pissing him off. After three times of repeating himself he finally yells. Oh this is gonna be a good one.

"JORDAN ANN ALYSSA ROGERS!" Damn why my full name should never get drunk with him. Put that on my list of things to never do again. However, my brother was napping and him yelling that echoes through the house. Now a fight while begin. Someone grab the damn popcorn.

All you here is a door being slammed open. Than some yelling from my brother telling Blake to shut the fuck up im napping and yeah stuff like that, pretty much happens maybe 4 times a week on a good day and on a bad day, pretty much everyday more than once a day.

Holden took me in a year ago and that's why I stopped seeing my last therapist. I'm glad he cares even though he's not my real brother but it sure feels like it and I'm glad. He's knows I look up to him because of what I just did to Blake he would do the same too. You could say we are actually siblings.

Blake is a hot guy id have to admit. He's a big ass player though so I'm not into that. Not once has he tired flirting with me though. I think the agreement between them was if he wanted to live here he was not allowed to flirt or do anything sexual. What my brother doesn't know is we kissed. We were both drunk off our asses at a party. My brother has no idea simply because he had work . Truth or dare was being played and some guy ask Blake to bring me to a bed room and lay me on the bed and kiss. He tired more but I gave him blue balls by smashing my foot in his balls. What I mean by blue balls isn't because of him getting turned on but because I bruised his nuts. I had to call a taxi to get home and when we did he crashed on the couch and I went to bed. So that's the end of that story .

Today is Friday and I am in no mood for schooling so I'll stay home. Every Friday I go to a bar and drink till I can't anymore. I always call my brother to take me home . That's probably why he naps so much bc I get him up early like 3:30am.

"Jordan get your ass down here I'm making food just for you!" God just called me. He wants me to eat . My brother knows me to well . Every morning is different food that's my favourite to cure my hangover.

His cooking is the best beyond words. He's a chef and the owner that works at grill & bar. He built the shop himself just a year ago now. I go there Friday some nights he works and I gotta get a taxi or someone else he trust to take me home.

"What did yah make me this morning Holden?"

"Crepes with whip cream and Nutella." I smile from ear to ear. Gosh darn I love my brother.

"Hey, by the way I'm working tonight so bring Blake with you tonight so he can "catch" a new girl so he doesn't keep eyeing you up ."

"Hahah alright brother whatever you say. Is it okay if I could go to the mall? I need new clothes."

"Yeah sure. Blake will go with you. I don't want you getting into anymore trouble than you already are."

"Ughhh okay fine. Tell him I'm leaving at 11:00 right on the dot."

"I will jor."