Accidental Intentions

41 • Open

Fuck.

Why did he do that? It wasn't supposed to come out that way.

Fuck, fuck, shit, fuck.

Well, at least it was in the open. The hardest part was all the agony leading up to the decision to tell him. Keith would figure out a way to live with the consequences.

He closed his eyes and waited. Sweat was trickling down his nose and neck, but he dared not do anything about it. It was Shiro's move now.

He heard the Black Paladin approach.

The pause was agonizing. His stomach clenched. He was gonna be sick.

"Keith."

Keith sucked in his breath refusing to face him, while focusing on keeping the bile down.

"Keith, look at me," Shiro commanded.

Clamping down on his bottom lip to keep it from trembling, Keith lifted his face slowly. Even more slowly did is eyes follow. Shiro's face was unreadable. Keith focused on his chin, not able to meet his eyes.

"Is that what this is all about?"

Keith shrugged noncommitally, the movement causing him to break out in a cold sweat.

"So you and Lance..."

"No! Well, argh, I don't know!" Keith choked out in a roar of frustration. "I mean, he's attractive and whatever but he gets on my damn nerves all the fucking time with his stupid comments — the shit he says like it's nothing — and like everything he does is so damn annoying and he's always hitting on anything female and I just fucking hate him so much it hurts!"

The training room echoed with the explosion of his outburst. Keith closed his eyes as the only way to stop the tears. He wouldn't cry like that in front of Shiro. And Shiro didn't say anything for a long time.

"I think I get it now," he mused.

Keith jumped when Shiro touched his arm, but Shiro didn't back off.

"Keith look at me."

"I can't," Keith cried.

"That's a shame," Shiro tone was cool.

Keith knew it. He was a disappointment. A dropout. A nobody. Who was he kidding? He had no family or friends to being with. Being a paladin hadn't changed that. Always the outsider, the one who didn't belong. His stomach rose to his throat.

"Because I wanted you to look me in the eye when I say it doesn't change anything."

Keith's eyes shot up in shock for a split second before he puked all over the Black Paladin's shoes.

"But that might."