Just Friends

October 12th

     So, yesterday evening Ethan sat me down on the sofa and explained this fantastic new trick he will perform on Patrick Miller's show. He'd invested in a board to help with his explanation.
     "Before I begin, I want you to know that I've thought this through a million times. Nothing will go wrong. I want to reassure you of this because I know you will be worried." Ethan said, crouching in front of me with his hands on me knees. He stood and walked over to his board. "I saw this newly closed hotel set to be demolished later this year. This appeared as an opportunity to produce something spectacular. Following so far?"
     I nodded.
     Ethan drew a vertical rectangle on the board and a few squares inside that rectangle. (He was poorly trying to represent the hotel with windows.)
     "Excuse the horrific drawing but I'm a magician, not an artist."
     I smirked and allowed him to continue by waving my hand.
     "I will be inside the building."
     I immediately interrupted, "No you won't."
Ethan sighed. "Can all comments please be reserved until the end, please? Thank you. As I was saying, I will be inside the building."
     I immediately interrupted again, "No you won't."
     "Why won't I?" He asked, blank faced.
     "You don't have my permission to do so." I replied.
     I don't want him anywhere near that building during its demolition.
     "Would you like me to call Patrick Miller and tell him I can't be on his show Christmas Eve because you won't give me your permission to do so?"
     I nodded. "Yes, if you could please. I don't want you anywhere near that building when it's being demolished."
     "But...but, but that's the trick!"
     I pulled a funny face and shrugged. "Tough."
     "This is why I am explaining it to you though, so you won't have to be worried. Look."
     He drew more detail onto his drawing. He added what looked like a pipe running underneath the hotel. "This is a tunnel. The basement staff used it as an emergency exit or something. I will exit through here and escape with plenty of time to spare before the building collapses, ok?"
     He was trying his upmost hardest to seek my approval. Although I wasn't having any of it.
     "You're not doing this trick, but please continue." I said bluntly. I bit my fingernails as he hopelessly stared at his board.
     "The hotel will be lined with dynamite or C4, whatever they use these days. It will come down floor by floor. I'll be in handcuffs that I'll get out of quicker than anyone can say August is the greatest person ever. I'll pop down the tunnel, which is directly beneath where I'll be standing, and escape from demolishment with plenty of time to spare. I might even catch the ending of it."
     I stared at him with an unsure look. He stared right back at me. He soon broke from our stare and sat beside me. "August, I'm going to do this regardless of what you say. I've explained this to you so you won't have anything to worry about. You can sit and watch all relaxed because you know I will be fine. I want to perform something no one has ever seen before. Something that will go down in history, an opportunity I have to grab with both hands."
     I rolled my eyes at him. "Ethan I will beat you up myself if you keep saying you're going to do this."
     He laughed. "You're so adorable when you're angry."
     He went to grab my cheeks, but I karate chopped his hand away. And glared into his eyes with my mean look and flared nostrils.
     "What are you doing, you weirdo?" He asked, moving away from me.
     "I'm giving you my super serious I'll kick the poop out of you look."
     He nodded. "I thought it looked familiar. But, you just look like you need a poop, August. It's not scary at all."
     I tutted in disappointment, and stuck two fingers up at him.

NEW EMAIL FROM AUGUST BISHOP
Dear Leonard,
You must keep everything I am about to say to yourself. First off, I apologise for Ethan's rudeness the other day. The crash isn't his fondest memory. I'm sure it's been playing on your mind, so if anything pops up please discreetly let me know. Ethan's street magic shows starts on the twentieth. I thought maybe you would like to watch it. I wanted to email you because, of course you've been a magician previously, but if you were going to drop a building on top of yourself, whist handcuffed, how would you escape?
Thanks, August.