Just Friends

November 29th

     We stayed at Ethan's house. We didn't want to cramp up my parent's house. Only my bed was available, my Dad made it very clear that Ethan and I wouldn't be sharing it.
     Ethan stood and observed the deserted house as we first entered. He paced around the room, stroking his hand across the dusty furniture. I felt so helpless watching him. I just wanted to give him a crushing hug and reassure him that everything would be ok. It saddened me so much knowing he was the last of his family. He has me and my family, and we're a family.
     The Knight's however could become extinct unless Ethan decides he wants a family of his own. I can't imagine a world without an Ethan Junior or his little princess of a Daughter.
     We're cleaning Ethan's house today, throwing anything out that isn't needed, tidying up and packing up anything Ethan wants to take with him to New York. He's finally decided he wants to give my parents his house for Christmas. Our home, Ethan calls it our home, not his. Our home is far more spacious, so we agreed they shouldn't turn down the opportunity to live here. The house they live in now could be saved for Madeline when she decides she wants to move out. They can rent it out until then. This is currently the plan we have lined up. We can hardly wrap the house up in wrapping paper, so I suggested we give them the key in a little box with a note.
     Ethan was in charge of rearranging everything downstairs while I took care of his parent's bedroom. His parent's bedroom had a depressing ambiance. It was tidy, but there wasn't much to tidy. The wardrobes were almost already empty. Ethan's Dad didn't have many clothes. I removed the clothes from their hangers and stuffed them into a bag. I dragged the bag to the top of the staircase. Ethan said he didn't want me to carry anything downstairs, because he knew I would trip and break my neck.
     Then I rummaged through the cupboards, I found more screws and instructions on how to build the wardroabe in the wardroabe than anything else. I sighed as I shut the final door, flopping onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. It was tougher than I had expected.
     As I sat up, I realised I hadn't checked the bedside drawers. I shuffled my bottom along the bed and opened the first of three drawers. Nothing. Disappointed, I frowned and shut it, opening the second draw. Nothing. I sighed and opened the final draw to also find... nothing. Angered, I slammed the draw shut. Who doesn't contain one item in their bedside draw?
     I fiddled with my thumbs then peered over my shoulder, maybe that wasn't Ethan's Dad's drawer. Maybe it was his Mum's. I stood and walked over to the other drawer, refusing to part my sight from it. I thought maybe everything would escape if I removed my eyesight from it for more than a second.
     I knelt down and took a deep breath to calm myself. Opening the first draw, it contained a pair of earphones and many packets of headache tablets. The next two draws were empty. I gritted my teeth as I closed the final drawer, I thought I would find something, anything.
     "Wow, this was boring," I said to myself. I misplaced my foot as I got to my feet and kicked the corner of the drawer. I mumbled many words that shouldn't be repeated, hopping on my uninjured foot and holding my agonised foot in my hands, rubbing my big toe in hope to cease the pain. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an object under the drawer I had just searched. After I rubbed my toe to a bareable pain. I knelt, dropping my head to the floor. It was a small dusty wooden box, no bigger than an A5 piece of paper. I held it between my fingers, scraping it along the floor. This hadn't been opened in years. The surrounding dust had almost created a cocoon layer of protection around it. I wiped the dust off the lid in disgust. It was a dark mahogany and had a smooth finish once the dust had been removed. I rubbed the rest off with my sleeve. It had ETHAN engraved on the top of it. I ran my fingers over the letters, wiping away the molded dust. "What do we have here?" I unclipped the latch at the front of the box. The lid hinges squeaked as I folded them back. It contained an envelope and taped on the inside of the lid was a square Polaroid picture. I delicately tore off the tape and blew the thin layer of dust covering the photo. It was a picture of a woman, smiling and holding a baby in her arms in a hospital bed. After a moment or two, I figure out who it was. It was Ethan's Mum. I'd never seen a picture of her before, ever. Ethan's Dad removed all the photos from the house after she died and put them into storage. She was a beautiful woman, but you could see by her skin and expression she wasn't well. She had shoulder length brown hair and such a beautiful smile. Ethan definitely has her eyes and her smile. I forced a smile as my eyes began to fill, trying to convince myself that I was happy to finally see an image of her, not sad. I carefully stuck the photo back into its original position and grabbed the envelope. It wasn't sealed, but the back had been folded in to prevent the contents from falling out. I did the same with my envelopes. I hated having to lick them. My hands trembled. I suddenly became angry with myself for not being able to open the envelope. I pinched the letter inside with my thumb and finger and shook the envelope to bring it free. I inhaled and exhaled a few times to compose myself, "August, stop being an idiot." I unfolded the letter onto the bed. Then I paused. Should I read this? If it's meant for Ethan he should be the first to read it. Should I give it to him now? Maybe I "should check it first and see if it was something he would need right now. The handwriting was messy. I understood why when I saw Mum x signed at the bottom.

My darling Ethan,
You're such a beautiful baby boy. So sweet and beautiful. We've only known each other for two days, although it seems I know you so well already. Your tiny little hand wrapped itself around my finger for the first time today. My heart is aching knowing I won't be there with you to watch you grow up. As you lay on me, I've forced the final strength inside of me to write to you. I didn't want to leave you with nothing to remember me by or think I didn't have anything to say to you. You won't see me when you first learn how to tie your shoes or have your first kiss or at your graduation, but I'll always be there with you, don't forget that. I hope you find love Ethan, and you live long and happy lives and will have children of your own one day. It should be easier for you if you have my looks and not your Fathers! You're my greatest achievement, Ethan, and I want you to know I'll always be proud of you. I know you will achieve greatness in whatever profession you choose. Look after your Father for me, Ethan, he may be stubborn, but he always gives his everything. He's a first-time parent, so you will have to help him out as best you can. Things may get a little messy! You will forever be with me, and I with you. I don't want to go Ethan, but it's my time. Tears roll down my face as I say my final goodbye to you. I desperately look forward to the day I will be reunited with my grown up beautiful baby boy. Until then I wish you a lifetime of love, happiness and affection.
I love you so much, forever and always, Mum x

     I placed the letter onto the bed. I didn't want the stream of tears running down my face to drip down onto the letter. I wiped my eyes and cheeks with the back of my hand. My face uncontrollably winced during my struggle to stop crying. I tucked my head into my knees, allowing my emotions to get the better of me. I honestly wished she was still here, I bet she'd be one of the coolest chicks ever and we'd get along like two peas in a pod. I assumed Ethan had never received this letter, which the cleanliness of the box containing it suggested. Maybe his Dad was waiting for the right opportunity to give it to him? Something as precious as this isn't forgettable. After five minutes of rocking myself I finally calmed down. I wiped my hands on my shirt and carefully folded the letter, returning it into its envelope and neatly placed it back into the box. I'm glad I decided not to wear mascara today, otherwise I would be a total mess. I grabbed a small spare towel from the upstairs cupboard, wrapping the box in it and hid it in my suitcase, where it would stay hidden until I knew what to do with it. Handing it to Ethan won't be easy, finding the right moment will be difficult. How would I give it to him? What would I say?
     When I popped downstairs Ethan was walking around topless. I was maybe staring at him for too long before he saw me stood there.
     "You ok?" He asked, turning around with a puzzled look.
     I stared at him for another few seconds before snapping out of my gaze. "Oh, I'm finished upstairs."