Painful Love

e l e v e n

Ethan sighs laying on the couch, changing through the channels in the tv. Where is Grayson? He thought throwing the control on the mini table in front of the couch. He was no where to be seen in school and he didn't came home either. It has been days since he did this, disappearing all day and coming home late. And Ethan got used to the idea of him being normal again.

"Hey there." Said Meredith taking a seat next to Ethan.

"Hey." He replies not taking his eyes off the screen.

"How was school today?" She asks trying to have a conversation with him until Sean comes downstairs.

Unlike Grayson, Ethan didn't dislike her. She wasn't his favorite person and the idea of his father being with someone wasn't too thrilling but she wasn't bad and it not her fault that his mother is dead or that she feel in love with his father.

"It was okay." He answers shrugging. From the corner of his eyes he notice her silently sighing.

"Where's Grayson?" She asks playing with the edge of her dress.

Ethan sighs, now seating. If only he knew the answer to that question. "I don't know." He finally replies. "Probably with his girlfriend." He says faking smiling while looking at her.

"Oh." She says smiling back at him. "I didn't know he had a girlfriend." She replies. "She must be a really lucky girl."

"She is." Ethan replies frowning, he couldn't hate Katherine even if he wanted to. She was more than a good girl.

"Are you ready to leave?" Says Sean coming down the stairs.

"Yes." Meredith replies getting up. "See you later Ethan." She says waving her hand and going out the door.

Ethan was left alone again wondering about his brother, wanting to know where he was. But it was useless even bothering to call because he knew he wasn't going to answer him anyways.

-

After another few hours Ethan was still laying on the couch. Almost midnight and no word of Grayson. Ethan sighs turning the tv off.

"This is useless." He thought going to the kitchen to get some water before going upstairs.

As he was making his way to the stairs he heard a car pulling into the driveway and knew for a fact that it was Grayson. So he waited downstairs until he came in.

"Where have you been?" He asks as his brother made his way through the door. But Grayson didn't reply and went up the stairs. "Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you!" He says quickly following him upstairs.

But the boy didn't reply, instead he turn around and pushed his brother against the wall and went inside his room, leaving Ethan frowning in the hall. What Ethan didn't know was that it took everything inside of Grayson not to punch his fist into his perfect jaw.

"Grayson." Ethan whispers through the door. He knew Grayson was drunk, the smell hit him the moment he followed his brother up the stair. "Please..."

But Grayson didn't open the door, so Ethan opened it. He didn't even bother to locked it. His brother was laying on his bed, eyes on the ceiling.

"Did you drive home in this condition?" He asks resting his back on the wall.

Not a word came from the boy laying on his bed. "Why?" Was all that Ethan wanted to know.

Why would he do this again, things were going so great and he had to drink again.

"Leave." Grayson says finally opening his mouth, taking Ethan out of his thoughts.

"No."

"Get the fuck out Ethan!" He says gritting his teeth.

"I said no." He says as calmly as possible. "Whatever it is you need, I'm here."

"Are you deaf? I don't need you here, I have a girlfriend for that." He says now seating and looking at him straight in the eyes. "She's supposed to comfort me when I'm sad, not you. You were right, you're my brother." He murmurs standing up. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Stop." Ethan screams going towards him. But Grayson pushed him away.

"I want you out! Go to your girlfriend's house, just let me be." He says desperate, scared of hitting him, or worse, kissing him.

"No!" Ethan says grabbing Grayson's arm. "You did this! You made me have feelings towards you!" He screams angry, furious. "You were my brother and you made me go through hell all of these months, hitting me until I lost consciousness. Then you kissed me, make me have this feeling that I can't even explain or figure out and now you want me to leave? You've been in my mind for days, I can't even concentrate! So NO, I'm not going to leave you alone even if you beat me for it."

Grayson bites his lip to prevent the tears from appearing. Even if he hated Ethan at the moment, he was more than right. He made this mess that they can't fix now. He was being unfair to Ethan and himself. Everything was going alright until he kissed him that day, made him love him the way he has been loving him for years. But he made Ethan suffer for no reason, he abused him for a death he wasn't even guilty of. He was the one that needed to leave, not Ethan.

"Do you really think I actually have feelings for you that way? For gods sakes Ethan I'm drunk most of the time, my favorite hobby is hitting you." He says with a scoff, trying really hard to control his voice. "It's pathetic, watching you act like there's something between us, when we both perfectly know there's not. What kind of freak loves his brother that way?"

Ethan blinks, making a few tears fall down his cheeks. Why was he saying this?

"You don't mean what you're saying." Ethan says turning both of his hands into fists.

"I do, so just leave." Grayson finally says going to the door and opening wide enough for his brother to go out.

Ethan stares at his brother, trying to figure out what was happening. Did he really mean those words? Why did he made him love him if he was going to push him away again.

So Ethan left, out of the house in a matter of seconds. No idea where he was going but he didn't want to see his brother or he would kill him.

Ethan stood in front of the door, both hands inside his pockets. Taking one out slowly, he knocked even though it was midnight and everyone was probably at sleep. After a few more knocks he notice the light inside turn on.

"What the hell are you doing here at this hour?" The girl asks squeezing her eyes. When she looks up, she sees Ethan red eyes and messed up hair, making her worry.

"I had nowhere else to go." He says, his voice breaking in the middle of the sentence.

And so the girl took a step towards the boy, taking him in her arms. And Ethan cried, he cried until he was more than aware that his brother just broke his heart.