Bal: two different worlds

Plan

*a month later, now 4 and a half months pregnant they were back seeing the doctor again as they were doing every other week to keep monitoring Mal and the twins*
Doctor: how do you feel?
Mal: sick, tired, I can feel the baby move now and it will not stay still, it feels really weird, it's not properly feeling it, it just feels like my stomach is in knots and it isn't
Doctor: well that's good, sounds like they're very healthy, let's take a look
Mal: okay
*she lifts her top up to reveal her bump, the doctor puts the gel in her stomach and then uses the wand to get a picture up*
Doctor: okay then, let's take a look
*as the doctor moves the monitor around to get a good look Mal turns to look at Ben for reassurance, he squeezed her hand in response and kissed the top of her head*
Mal: so?
*the doctor handed her a paper towel to wipe the gel off her stomach as she went away to write some things down, Mal didn't like the silence*
Mal: what's going on?
Doctor: they're quite a bit smaller than we'd like for 18 weeks
Mal: oh, a....am I doing something wrong?
Doctor: no, this happens sometimes, your circumstances are quite unprecedented Mal, we don't know much about what should be happening right now
Mal: oh
Doctor: otherwise they seem quite healthy, we're gonna keep a close eye on you though, just to be safe
Mal: isn't this already a close eye?
Doctor: as you get closer to the due date we'll switch to every week so we can really keep a close eye and nip any problems in the bud
Mal: okay
Ben: is she okay?
Mal: Ben I'm fine
Ben: I want a doctor to tell me that
Doctor: she's perfectly fine, everything on her part checks out well at the moment
Ben: okay
Mal: I told you I'm fine
Ben: and I worry about you, I want to hear it from a doctor that you're healthy
Mal: okay
Doctor: I know we've previously talked about this but I can tell you the genders if you want to know
Mal: you've said that at the last 3 appointments, I don't want to know
Ben: sweetie if something does happen you'll have to find out anyway, we want to be positive about this don't we?
Doctor: I'll give you two a couple of minutes
*the doctor leaves and ben pulls up a chair by Mal*
Mal: I don't want to know!
Ben: okay, but Mal you aren't getting into this at all, I know you're trying but you and I both know you feel disconnected from all of this, I think knowing would be good for you, we can think about names and start the nursery and know what we're doing it for
Mal: but what if something happens?! I don't want to have a name picked out for a child I lost or have a nursery ready with no child to put in there! HOW CAN YOU WANT TO KNOW?!
Ben: because I want to know what I'm having, and if we do lose our child I want to be able to grieve for a child who deserved the grace to have a name, not to be unknown
Mal: I'm a horrible mother and they're not even born yet
*she starts crying and he pulls her into his arms, sitting on the bed beside her*
Ben: you're not a bad mother, but I think you'd find it easier to get into this if you knew
Mal: but if I get attached and then I miscarry it'll be that much worse
Ben: we can't think like that baby
Mal: okay
Ben: okay?
Mal: let's find out
Ben: really?
Mal: yeah
Ben: that's great
Mal: I want to start doing all that stuff later
Ben: okay, whatever you want to do, we'll do
Mal: alright
*they just sit quietly, her in his arms, until the doctor comes back in a few minutes later*
Mal: we'd like to know what we're having
Doctor: are you sure?
Mal: yes
Doctor: you have a boy and a girl, congratulations
Ben: thank you doctor

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So a boy and a girl, was Mal really ready to hear that though?
Edit: sorry not an update, just noticed there's no pic and needed to correct that Xoxo