Bal: two different worlds

Advice

*later Mal was sitting with the twins while Ben slipped out to talk to the doctor*
Doctor: your highness, is everything alright?
Ben: I'm kinda worried about Mal, it's probably nothing, but I just wanted to ask you
Doctor: what's wrong?
Ben: she's worried she's not connecting with them, I don't know if it's in her head or there's actually something there, she's afraid that there's something wrong there because she doesn't know how to feel or what she does feel
Doctor: okay
Ben: could that be something to do with her relationship with her mother, when we were starting out she said she didn't know if she was in love because she didn't know how it felt
Doctor: for now I wouldn't be too worried, her hormones are still completely confused, give her some time and if she's still not okay then tell her to come see me and we'll have a chat about it
Ben: okay, thanks
*ben goes back in to find Mal looking quite frustrated*
Ben: you okay there babe?
Mal: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
*her sudden outburst set both the twins into a flood of tears and made her more upset, she couldn't decide what was wrong, maybe nothing was, maybe it was all of her own creation, but that thought seemed to make it all the more pathetic to her, she couldn't handle herself and she knew it, she only wished she knew why*
Ben: woah, okay, Mal take a deep breath, we all know what might happen if you don't calm down
Mal: I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!
*she anger and confusion all spilling out at once made the twins all the more upset, the more worked up they got, the more worked up she got and vice versa, then she finally lost control and suddenly a thunder storm began just outside the window, Ben knew he had to soothe her quickly before it got out of control*
Ben: Mal! Calm down, please, I know you're struggling with this right now but it's gonna be fine okay? You're doing fine, but you need to calm down because it's scaring them
*Mal took a few shaky but deep breaths and Ben could see the storm outside begin to subside, now there was only one storm which remained for him to tame, between the two of them they slowly began to calm the twins down once again but he knew she still had something brewing, she probably had no idea, but he was very weary of it*
Mal: I can't do any of this right, I can't think straight and I just don't know what to do, I just want to know what I'm supposed to do, I wish I could stop questioning everything I do
Ben: I know, I wish I knew what the answer was, I really do
Mal: what's happened to me? It's like I've been shattered into pieces, I can't control myself, I can't control my temper, I can't control anything, maybe I was better on that stupid island
Ben: what?
Mal: I'm pathetic, I can't handle myself for ten seconds, maybe I went without any love for so long that when I finally got it it became destructive to me? Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy and love, maybe I'm safer under that dome where I can't have magic, something's gotta give Ben, what if it's just me? What if I'm what's gotta give?
Ben: there's not one word of that which is true, you've still got that fire in you, so what if you've grown beyond what you were? Do you regret us?
Mal: no
Ben: do you regret them?
Mal: of course not
Ben: then that's all you need, start there and build it up, you're still the girl who sassed me the first chance she got and who had a fire in her eyes like I'd never seen before
Mal: what is this? Why am I like this? It's like it's all been building up for so long and I never knew
Ben: you faltered for a moment, your emotions overruled your judgement and your usual rationality, it happens to the best of us
Mal: I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm totally failing because I don't want to get this wrong, I can't get this wrong
Ben: you're doing fine
Mal: I just wish I had someone to tell me what I'm supposed to do, I wish I had a mother figure to help me but no because my mother is a psychopath who doesn't give a shit about anyone, sorry guys
*that was when Ben became sure of his idea, it may not work but it was all he had, but first he had one other suggestion*
Ben: have you thought about speaking to your mother?
Mal: what would you like me to say? Oh hey mom, yeah, a lots gone on in the past year, yeah I'm the queen now, oh yeah btw your a grandmother, twice over, got any tips? She's the mistress of evil not mommy or the year
Ben: okay, bad idea, I'm sorry
Mal: can you take me back? I'm tired
Ben: but we've only been here for half....
*but she had no interest in being reminded*
Mal: please!
Ben: oh uh, yeah sure
*that was when he caught it, he realised, she hadn't once touched her daughter, or even looked at her, and then he understood what was really going on in her head, getting her to admit it would be the tough part*

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Are you guys confused yet? Because I am, this started out as something and ended up as something else entirely, BUT NOW I HAVE A GAME PLAN!
ALSO: any rove shippers circling here who haven't seen it yet, my new book 'The Affair' is out now, perhaps check it out? Peace out xoxo