(Trigger Warning)
A few weeks had passed and James was working again. Not that I wasn't happy for him but he was (selfishly of me) a distraction from my mind. All the thoughts that haunt me and drive me insane. Tonight was the worst, I kept thinking of him how he ruined me. The ideas and scenarios played in my head of James hurting me like he did. But James isn't him, but aren't all men the same? Aren't girls always the complicated ones? Was it always my fault, I pushed him away. But he was going to marry me. I'm going to die alone, I don't want to die. Why didn't he love me? I smashed a plate against the wall, and ran to my room. I swear I heard my phone ring but my crying wasn't always reassuring. Running, running into the bathroom; I broke one of my shavers and pulled out the razors. Slice my fault, slice I deserve this, he's too good for me, three more on each more worthless, disposable, insignificant. The blood trickled down my open cuts, as I walked to my bed and laid there.
"I'm sorry I'm useless, I'm sorry this is all that's left of your little girl, I'm sorry I just want you back." I screamed through tears at the ceiling, wishing I had them back, or that I was with them. Tired, unsure of how deep I cut and burning eyes, I closed my eyes and drifted.
James
"She isn't answering her phone. I'm going to her house." I told Michael as I left set. My mind was everywhere right now, she was getting better last that we spoke. I know I had been so busy soon but I haven't forgotten about her either. Once I got to her house, I tried opening the front door but it was locked so I went through the back.
"Bunny?" I yelled through the house, I ran upstairs into her room. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
"Bunny please, please Bunny wake up! Why did you do this? Why Bunny?" I cried as I tried to wake her up, my shirt was getting covered in blood but I didn't care. I called for an ambulance and I prayed they came quickly. Her eyes started to open slightly.
"James?" She whispered, her eyes still barely open.
"Bunny, Bunny my love you're going to be okay. I called an ambulance, Bunny why did you do this? Please stay awake, please." I cried as she stared at me and then paramedics came into the room. They cleaned her cuts and wrapped them in bandages, she was awake and her eyes were filled with tears.
"Sir can I talk to you please?" A paramedic said as I saw another one talking to Bunny.
"Sure, outside the room." I said as we walked out and closed the door.
"This isn't the first time we've been called about her. Bunny is well in a sense a regular, her fiance used to call all the time. She has clinical depression and she obviously isn't taking her medication anymore. Listen, it seems you're her new partner so you should know that she needs her medication and she needs her therapist again. The poor girl, she is a sweetheart but she's being through so much, my friend was the one who had to get her parents from the accident they were in. Listen you have to be careful with her, alright? She's going to be fine just make sure you clean the cuts and change the bandages every three days." He said going back into the room. She was still there, she gave me a smile and soon the paramedics left.
"I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I just got really sad...again," she said. I don't care that she isn't okay, I love her dearly and I'm not going to just stand here and see her suffer.
"Bunny we're going to get through this. You're going to get better and I'm going to help you darling. Remember, I'm always going to be here for you my love." I said kissing her hand. She nodded and kissed me. Her lips tasted of fruit for some reason, and her small hands gently cupped my face. Why did she feel like home.
"I think I love you, more than I ever expected. Is that okay?" She asked pulling away from the kiss. I let out a chuckle and then looked at her.
"Yes, because my love. I love you just as much or more than you expected either." I said cupping her face and kissing her again. She just wants to be happy and I'm going to give her that world.
