'Baby I got a plan, runaway fast as you can...' - Kanye West
"Now you both came together as a way to feel more inclined to one another. Are you two dependent of each other on a daily basis?" Her cold voice asked us.
"I wouldn't say dependent-"
"Yes" I said cutting off James. The elder lady, slim, with cold eyes continued on as she wrote things done.
"Have you ever been in counseling before?"
"No, but she has." James answered in a monotone voice.
"Bunny, you have an extensive history with mental illness, your ex-fiance, he had plans to send you to the State Hospital, is that true?" She questioned while flipping through my files.
"Yes, he di-"
"Why didn't you ever tell me this?" James said his voice filled with frustration and fear.
"I was going to, when I got better. I didn't want ya to worry," I said watching him throw himself back into his chair. My heart hurt; here I was trying to fix everything but I felt as if though I was just destroying it even more.
"James you and Bunny both lost your parents at a fairly pivotal stage in your life. Would you say that has effected your mental health?" The lady asked, and the look on his face was giving an uncomfortable look.
"Can we not talk about that," I said knowing neither of us wanted to talk about it.
"Very well I'm sorry, so how long have you two been seeing each other?" She asked moving on from the cold moment.
The rest of the session was abrupt and distant; I should've known this was terrible. The moment I got into my house I knew it was best to make him go.
"James go home, it's best if you go to your place for tonight," I said standing on the door frame.
"I know it wasn't what you expected today, but don't push me away. I love you," he said taking hold of my hand.
"I ruined it, I ruined us," I said trying not break into tears. He's too good for me and I'm still a wreck of body. He deserves better than nut case like me.
"Bunny, let me in please." He pleaded with me, I let go of his hold and ran upstairs too afraid to confront how I felt. My need to hide in a safe place caused me to trip up some of the stairs, my lower lip began to bleed and my tears were showing. James came running to me, as much as I pushed him away he wouldn't budge.
At the end of the horrific day we'd had, I found myself laying in his arms. His warmth brought me safety, as much as I never would deserve him; he found a way into my life to the point where having him away from me just wouldn't be right.
"If us needing each other is wrong, than I don't ever want to be right. Can we be bonkers together?" I said looking up at his red eyes.
"Bonkers together," he said with a smile and our lips met.
After that, we never returned to the sessions. Idiotic as it may sound, they were no help just a simple excuse to go to. James instead suggested we just be a tad bit more open with each other; little by little it was working. I started to become a bit social and relied less on smokes after anti-depressants. My mind was dark, I knew that; excepting the wrongs and moving forward is what I had to begin to do instead. His mind's dark too from time to time, but my square sausage has me to bring him back, his sister who has talked to me on the phone every other week, and his cast mates/ friends who become close to him. Me family was growing, with an auntie I never knew I had.
