Until You're Next to Me

Chapter 9: Your Happiness. My Misery.

YSABELLE'S POV

Exactly 9:00 PM nung nakarating ako sa bar, may concert pala sila Alex pero hindi man lang niya ako ininvite. Hah! What will I expect anyway. Nandito na ulit si Scarlette, tapos na ang role ko sa buhay niya.

Tahimik akong umupo sa bandand likod ng bar. Nag start na pala yung concert. Tinitingnan ko si Xander habang kumakanta, he seems so happy. And I can also see Scarlette, nakaupo siya sa table malapit sa stage. Alex was staring at her while he sing, at hindi na sa'kin.

Dapat ako yung nasa lugar ngayon ni Scarlette. Inagaw niya sa'kin si Alex.

Natapos na yung first set nila Xander nang nagsalita siya. "This next song is dedicated to the only girl in my life. Yes, indeed she's the only one because since the day I met her, my eyes stop searching because I can honestly say my heart has found exactly what I've been looking for." Nag clenched fist ako sa sinabi ni Xander. I cannot accept na kahit pala dati pa si Scarlette parin yung nasa isip niya. Natapos na ulit kumanta sila Alex. What he said made my already broken heart shattered more into pieces.

"I cannot imagine how I lived my life before you, and either connot imagine living my life without you. So, would you make me the luckiest man today in the worl if you would say yes to my next question? Scarlette Reyes, will you marry me?" Napatahimik lahat ng tao sa bar, all eyes are staring at Scarlette waiting for her answer. Nagsindi ako ng stick ng yosi, I don't know but I feel restless.

"NO!!!" Nagulat lahat ng tao, lalong natahimik sa loob. Pati ako syempre na-surprise din, I don't know kung ano yung magiging reaction ko sa sagot niya. But the next thing that she said made my world crashing down.

"No Alex, not only today that I will make you the luckiest guy in the world. But also every single day of our life, today and forever. And yes, of course, I will marry you." I cannot feel anything, I cannot hear anything. Kahit na naghihiyawan na ang mga tao sa bar parang wala akong naririnig. I can't feel even my own tears were already rolling down my cheeks. I'm hurting too much, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit pa'ko nandito.

"They seems so happy. Why can't you leave them alone and have your own life?" Napalingon ako sa nagsasalita. Here he go again! Inirapan ko siya, hindi ko nalang siya pinansin. "Bumitaw ka na Ysa, hindi ka na niya kayang hawakan." he told me with sarcasm.

"This is none of your bussiness! And you! Why don't you just leave me alone!" Sigaw ko sa kanya. Hindi ko mapigilang hindi mapikon.

"Sa tingin mo iiwan kita dito? Eh lahat ng tao dito nag cecelebrate, ikaw lang ang hindi. So better to stay here with you so we can grieve together."

"Fuck you!" Natawa lang siya sa pagmura ko sa kanya. Ewan ko ba sa taong 'to.Lahat na yata ng masasakit na salita nasabi ko na sa kanya, but he still stay with me no matter what. Natapos na yung gig nila Xander, pero hindi parin ako umalis sa bar. Umorder ako ng alak habang nakikinig sa banda na kasunod nila Alex. Babae yung kumakanta.

It's been seven hours and fifteen days

since you took your love away

I go out every night and sleep all day

since you took your love away

Nakakailang order na'ko ng alak pero hindi parin ako nalalasing. IInumin ko a sana yung alak pero may umupo sa harap ko at kinuha yung baso ko. "Why are you still here? Can't you just leave me alone please!!!" Tiningnan ko na siya nang masama, nakakapikon!

"Why I'm here? Simple lang. Magpapaka lasing ako sa alak kasi hindi ako mahal ng taong mahal ko. Eh ikaw? Bakit ka nandito?" Hinayaan ko lang siyang dumaldal.

"Look at you Ysa! You're so wasted! Huwag mong sayangin yung buhay mo dahil lang kay Alex!"

"Why can't you just shut up and leave! I don't need you here anyway!"

"Ysa madami pang iba jan!"

"And who? You? Hahahaha! Hindi kita kayang mahalin! Not ever!" Nakita ko na nasaktan siya sa mga salitang binitiwan ko. Serves him right!

"Hindi ka din kayang mahalin ni Alex! I hope you relialize that!" All of a sudden, naalala ko yung sinabi sa'kin ni Xander nung sinugod niya ako sa ospital. Hindi mo ba naiintindihan? Hindi kita kayang mahalin!!!

Lahat ng sakit na naramdaman ko nung time na yun bumalik lahat dahil sa sinabi ng gago kong kausap. Nangdilim yung paningin ko, I cannot control myself anymore that I slapped his face. Tumayo ako sa upuan saka dali-daling umalis pero hinabol niya ako. Hinila niya ako sa isang corner saka hinalikan. I was fighting at first but the more I fight, the more passionate the kiss. Hanggang mawala na yung defense ko and I finally give in. "Nasasaktan ka kasi may mahal siyang iba? Di mo ba naiisip na nasasaktan ako kasi mahal mo siya?" Narinig kong binulong niya after he kissed me. Napayakap nalang ako sa kanya, feeling ko mawawalan na'ko ng malay dahil sa dami ng nainom.

Na-realize ko nalang na nakasakay na kami sa kotse niya. Sa sobrang kalasingan ko hindi ko na namalayan kung saan kami nakarating. I suddenly woke up in a room, on a bed, undressed. I realized I just have sex, with this man who loves me unconditionally.

Oo sana ikaw nalang yung minahal ko, but I know your love doesn't deserve me. You're too good, and you deserve someone better. Yung mamahalin ka din nang sobra pa sa pagmamahal mo sa'kin. I'm sorry. Sabi ko sa sarili ko habang natutulog siya.

Dahan-dahan akong'ng tumayo sa kama, iniiwasan kong magising siya because I'm sure hindi ako makakaalis agad. Mabilis akong nagbihis. Lumakad ako papuntang pinto at tahimik na lumabas. I walk out of that room with determination to get Xander back to me. Not giving a damn if it's right or wrong.

*****

A/N

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