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«warning: suicidal thoughts»
💛Tyler💛
Tyler wakes up with Josh's arm wrapped tightly around his waist and his own head on his wide chest. Tyler looks around and remembers what happened the day before.
I tried to commit suicide and Josh saved me. He saved me.
"Tyler?" Tyler looked up at Josh, who had just woken up. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm ok." Tyler smiles at him. "Scared out of my mind."
Josh tilts his head. "Why is that?"
"They are drawing blood today." He blushes feeling stupid.Dumb reason to be scared.
I know.
Your a wimp.
"That's nothing to be scared of. They are just trying to figure out how they can help you." Josh smiles, seeming amused by his fear.
Tyler gulps looking down. "I g-guess so..." A thought hits him. "Josh?" Tyler's voice trembles a bit to much.
"Tyler what is it?" Josh pulls him closer.
"W-what..." He hesitates, lowering his voice. "What about my cuts?"
Josh gulps, fear glinting in his eyes. "I dunno... Are they healed enough?"
Tyler shakes his head. "They have scabs but only a few of them do."
Josh closes his eyes. "I don't want them to think your insane..." Tyler looks at him, he can feel the worry. "I dont know Ty. Just be honest I guess."
Tyler gulps.
Knock Knock.
Josh and Tyler jump.
"It must be the doctor." Josh whispers it softly and climbs out of he bed, making Tyler feel cold and abandoned.
Josh opens the door and a doctor walks in. She gives a friendly 'good morning' and sits down on the chair next to Tyler. "You must be Tyler." Tyler gives a small nod. "I know its early but Dr. Christopher will be here in a few moments to take blood."
Tyler closes his eyes. "O-ok..."
She smiles and walks out. Tyler loses it. He begins to cry.
"Tyler calm down!" Josh gets up quickly and climbs back into bed with Tyler, wrapping his arms around his waist.
Tyler wants to push him away but he doesn't. "I want to g-go h-home!"
"You would rather be home with your parents than cuddling in a hospital bed with me?" Josh gives a small laugh.
Tyler laughs too. "N-no I guess not..." Tyler moves so he can stare at Josh. "Thank you for saving me."
Josh smiles and pulls Tyler closer. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't save you?"
There's another knock at the door.
Josh gets up again and let's Dr. Christopher in. He smiles. "Good morning, Tyler Josh." He is carrying a lot of needles and containers.
"Is that stuff to take my blood?" Tyler's voice cracks.
"Yes Tyler it is." Dr. Christopher can see Tyler is uneasy. "Dont worry, it won't hurt much."
"Ok." Tyler turns to Josh. "Hold my hand? Please?"
Josh nods and scoots closer, grabbing Tyler's hands and tangles their fingers together.
"Pull up your sleeve please Tyler." Dr. Christopher begins to unpack the needles.
Tyler closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He pulls his sleeve up and waits for Dr. Christopher.
He feels something wet and cold.
Tyler opens his eyes and see that Dr. Christopher is wiping his arm with a sterile wipe.
He tosses the wipe aside and picks up a needle of some kind. "Ready Tyler?"
Tyler looks over at Josh and Josh gives him a nod. "Y-yeah...im ready..."
He looks over at Josh. Josh squeezes his hand and Tyler mouths something to him, hoping he wouldn't understand. "I love you Josh." He feels the needle slide into his skin. "I love you so much."
Josh's eyes widen and he mouths back. "I love you too Tyler."
Tyler closes his eyes, a stabbing pain rushing through his arm. He holds back gasps of pain and squeezes Josh's hand tighter.
Moments later he feels the needle leave his skin and Dr. Christopher presses a cloth to his arm and begins to wrap it to prevent bleeding. "There. I'll take this to the lab for testing. For now you can get some rest." He smiles and walks out.
"Tyler?" Josh's voice sounds like silk to Tyler.
"Yeah?" For the first time, he doesn't respond shakily.
Josh squeezes Tyler's hand tighter. "Do......do you really love me?"
Tyler looks him in the eyes and his own heart begins to beat faster. "I.... I do I love you so much..." Tyler blushes. "But...you don't love me-you shouldn't love me- I'm such a fuck up, I'm unlovable."
Josh climbs into the bed next to him and snuggles close to him and whispers gentle into Tyler's ear. "Remember the morning is when night is dead."
Tyler doesn't know what he means by that but somehow, part of him understands it. He turns slightly to face Josh so he can stare into his perfect brown coffee eyes. Josh smiles and shifts closer to Tyler, allowing him to rest his head on Josh's chest. Tyler closes his eyes.
I finally feel safe. Here. In his arms I am safe.
Tyler smiles weakly.Listen to Message Ty. I am Message and I say this boy doesn't love you. He is only trying to save you so no one thinks he caused you to commit suicide when you do.
Not true.
Very true. He doesn't love you like that Tyler. Face it.
Tyler opens his eyes again and gazes into Josh's eyes. Josh smiles and presses his lips gently to Tyler's forehead. Tyler bites his lip, an electric like shock rushing over him at the touch of Josh's lips.
Josh pulls back and snuggles Tyler closer. Tyler smiles and whispers gently to Josh, hoping he won't hear him. "I am safe with you. Josh, I love you."
There isn't a response from Josh.
Tyler sighs, thankful that Josh hadn't heard him.
He feels tired but doesn't want to sleep. "I'd rather be dead than sleep at a time like this..." Tyler whispers gently to himself, fighting to keep his eyes open.
Josh shifts, pulling Tyler closer to him. He grumbles and sighs, obviously drifting off into sleep.
Tyler sighs listening to his soft breathing happily. He closes his eyes, whispering gently. "I used to say I wanna die before I'm old but because of you I might think twice..."
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GAAAAHHHH FLUFFY KITTY CHAPTER HAHA! Ok I need to calm down 😂 this chapter is a bit shorter than usual but hey I'm just glad I got it done 😊. I'm SOOO ready for love to blossom and next chap should have some fluffy love stuff 😊😊😊.
Anyway thanks for reading loves!!! 💛💛💛
💛~TylerDun💛
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Message Man-«{Joshler}» HIATUS
Fanfiction"Josh, you don't know my heart the way you know my face." "I will soon. I'll find who you are soon enough." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Credit to Kinley on the Clique Amino App for the cover! 💛💛💛