«warning: self-harm, thoughts of suicide»
💛Tyler💛
Tyler gripped the bag holding his donut tightly. Him and Josh were inside of the music store, it was possibly Tyler's favorite store at the mall.
Tyler, you should leave. This Josh person is using you.Blurry I fucking swear if you don't shut up-
What are you going to do? I'm just a voice inside your head. You can't get rid of me. I'll be with you until the moment you die.
Tyler ignored him. Josh walked over to him holding a CD in his hand.
"Tyler look! I actually can't believe they have this." He was holding up a CD of Green Day's Dookie.
"I don't think I've heard Green Day before."
Josh widened his eyes. "What? You have to come over to my house and listen to it with me."
Tyler smiled. "I think that would be fun."
"C'mon lets go. I'll buy the CD for you."
"N-no Josh, get it for yourself."
Josh shook his head and handed Tyler the CD and a twenty dollar bill. "I insist. I want you to have it."I'm surprised he is even willing to speak to you.
Shut up Blurry!
I don't have to. I'll say what I please.
Just leave me alone! I'm trying to be happy.
You don't deserve to be happy.
"Tyler?" Josh's voice shook him out of his thoughts. "You ok?"
"Y-yeah, I'm fine just got lost in thought."
"Ok, well why don't you go pay for the CD? After you pay we can go to the food court and get something to eat. I'm gonna keep looking around."
Tyler nodded and got into line to pay for the CD. He smiled at the cashier lady once he got to the front of the line.
She scanned the CD. "Will this be all for you today?"
"Y-yeah." He didn't mean to stutter.
"$19.80 will be your total." Tyler handed her the twenty and in exchange she gave him the CD and twenty cents.
"Have a nice day, sir." She smiled and Tyler smiled back.
"You too."
He turned to walk out of the store and Josh met him at the door.
He laughed. "That was quite the awkward moment at the front."
Tyler blushed. "S-shut up...I'm not good with people...."
"I'm kidding, Ty."
He obviously doesn't care.Yes he does Blurry, shut up.
Then explain why he made a remark like that.
H-he was kidding.
Hmph. Sure.
Josh smiled at Tyler and pulled out his phone. "Alyssa just texted me. Apparently she maxed out her credit card at Macy's."
Tyler laughs. Josh taps a couple of times on his phone and puts his phone back into his pocket. "She said she will meet us at the food court. Lets go."
Tyler nods. They begin to walk off and Tyler inspects the album art on his CD.
Tyler.What do you want Blurry?
You have your blade right?
Y-yeah I do.
Why don't you do something pretty to those wrists?
I don't want to.
I don't care what you want. Do it or I'll do something far worse.
I'm not doing it.
I swear to God Tyler, if you don't do it I will make you kill yourself. Your wrists are very very ugly, I just want to make them pretty again, Tyler.
He and Josh sat down at a table and Josh, whom had just spotted Alyssa, called her over to sit down with them.
Don't ingnore me Tyler.I don't want to do it.
Do it. Nothing wrong with making your wrists pretty.
F-fine.
Good Tyler.
"Tyler what do you want to eat?"
Tyler shrugged. "Get me whatever. I don't care what it is. I have to use the bathroom, I'll be back."
Josh and Alyssa nodded. Tyler got up and walked swiftly to the bathrooms. He pushed the door open, relived to see that no one else was in the bathrooms. He chose the very last stall and walked inside it. He closed the door, locked it, put the seat down on the toilet and sat down. He slowly pulled out his blade and it shone in the dim light if the bathroom.Do it Tyler.
O-ok. I will.
Tyler gulps, fear rushing over him. He closed his eyes and presses the blade into his skin, dragging the blade across his wrist until the skin broke and began to bleed.
Very pretty Tyler. It's not quite pretty enough though. Keep going.He sunk the blade into his skin several more times until his arm was coated with blood.
Beautiful. Great job Ty.
Tyler closes his eyes and nods. His arm is pulsing with pain and his arm is an angry red color, from all the blood spilling out if his cuts.
You know Tyler, those legs are ugly too.
Blurry I'm done for tonight.
Your not done until I say. Do it.
No. Fuck you Blurry.
Feisty! I don't belong to you, you belong to me Tyler.
He ignores him. He stuffs his blade into his pocket and wipes as much of the blood on his arm off as he can. He pulls his sleeve up and walks out of the bathroom.
He looks around anxiously and at last spots Josh and Alyssa. He walks over to them and sits down.
"You were in there for a long time Ty." He tilts his head, worry shining inside his brown eyes.
"Y-yeah s-s-sorry." He stutters. He stutters too much.
"Tyler what's up? Something seems wrong."
Tyler bites his lip, staying silent.Tell him what you did.
He is gonna think I'm insane.
Good. Another person for you to push away.
Leave. Me. Alone.
Hell no Tyler. This is just getting interesting.
"T-Tyler? Are you ok?" Josh had placed a hand on Tyler's shoulder.
Uhg Tyler. This person is annoying me. He is using you. Just kill yourself and prevent yourself from getting close to him.
S-stop please Blurry.
"I dunno... If I am ok...." Tyler hangs his head.
Kill yourself. Do it now or I'll do it for you.
"What's wrong Tyler?" Josh wore an expression of worry.
"I....m-my parents t-they...." He hesitated. "They a-abuse m-me..."
Josh's widened and Alyssa's breath hitched.
"O-oh m-my god T-Tyler...." Josh reaches out for Tyler and pulls him into a gentle hug. "I'm so sorry.... I had no idea Tyler.."
Tyler cries gently into his shoulder. His arm is pulsing and his heart feels as if it's twisting inside his chest.God Damn it Tyler. He probably thinks your insane now.
💛💛💛
Cri. Omg I cried and I feel like I shouldn't have cried but hey I'm emotional so DEAL WITH IT. Self-harm is such a sensitive subject for me and it was so hard to write it. I don't know where my mind will take me in the next chapter, but i have a feeling it's gonna be some bad stuff happening in the next few chapters.
Thanks for reading loves.
Hope you enjoyed.
💛TylerDun~💛
YOU ARE READING
Message Man-«{Joshler}» HIATUS
Fanfiction"Josh, you don't know my heart the way you know my face." "I will soon. I'll find who you are soon enough." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Credit to Kinley on the Clique Amino App for the cover! 💛💛💛