«17»

49 2 0
                                    

«warning: suicidal thoughts»
💛Tyler💛
Tyler woke up in the hospital bed, all the wires still connected to him. He looked over at Josh, who was sleeping in the chair beside the bed and holding Tyler's hand tightly. Tyler smiled and stared at his sleeping face.

Snap out of this.

What?

Stop thinking he loves you. He doesn't. He just gives you pity. He doesn't love you and never will.

That's not true.

You know it is. He is using you, just like everyone else has.

Tyler felt tears began to leak out of his eyes.

Are you hurting now? Did I hurt little worthless Tyler?

"Stop!" Tyler screamed, causing Josh to jump from his chair.
"Tyler? What happened?" Josh asked, a horrible look of worry spread across his face.
Tyler didn't answer but simply laid there. His eyes began to turn a bright red, and his hands began to blacken.
"J-Josh..." Tyler said, his voice deepening several octaves. He looked over at Josh, his vision beginning to go blurry.
"Tyler! What's happening?!?" Josh yelled, fear glowing in his eyes.
"Hope you're dead cuz how could you sleep at a time like this?" Tyler felt himself lose all control over his own body.
"Tyler? What's going on with you?!?" Josh screamed, getting up and backing himself up against a wall.
"Tyler is gone now." Tyler wanted to cry out, but he couldn't. Message had taken over.
"No! Tyler I know you're in there!" Josh began to cry, fear spilling out with every breath he took.
"Yo, you bulletproof in black like a funeral, the world around us is burning but we're so cold, it's the few the proud and the emotional." Message spoke through Tyler, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
"Tyler! Tyler c'mon get out of there!" Josh was crying harder. "I love you please, get out of there!"
Tyler's red eyes flickered back to brown for a split moment. "You don't love Tyler. Don't act like you do, Josh."
Josh stared at Tyler. He rushed forward and grabbed Tyler's face, pulling him in for a kiss.
Tyler kissed back, causing Message to scream and back off.
Josh pulled away. "Tyler...? You in there?"
Tyler kept his eyes closed. "Y-y-yeah..." Tyler stared looking down at his hands, seeing the black fading from his hands. "I'm s-sorry. H-h-he took o-over..."
Josh pulled Tyler close. "Don't be sorry. You couldn't control it."
Tyler cried into Josh's chest, his sobs shaking his entire body. "I can't do this anymore..."
Josh was crying too. No one said anything in that moment, they just cried and cried.
Josh pulled Tyler's head up. "Don't let go. Remember? Don't let go, Tyler. Don't let go."
"I need to let go." Tyler stops for a moment, still crying. "And you do too."

You will let go sooner.

I know, Message I know.

"No." Josh let Tyler go and began to rummage through the cabinets in the hospital room.
"Josh? What are you looking for?" Tyler asked, staring at him.
He didn't answer. Josh continued to search the cabinets, until he finally back to Tyler and sat down next to him a black sharpie in hand. "Give me your arm."
Tyler obeyed, giving Josh the one arm that wasn't hooked up to machines."What are you going to do?"
"Just wait." Josh said and began writing on his arm.
Tyler watched as he moved the sharpie across his skin, making words and small drawings on his arm.
Josh stopped a few minutes later. Tyler looked at his arm, seeing the words 'don't let go' written several times on his arms along with the word 'hope' made out of birds.
"J-Josh..." Tyler stutters staring at his arm. "It's beautiful..."
Josh smiled and grabbed his hand. Tyler looked up and stared him in the eyes. Josh stared back. "Don't let go okay? Have hope. Please, Ty."
Tyler closed his eyes. "But what if I have to let go? What if Message makes me let go?"
"He won't, as long as I'm around. I won't let him rule you, you will fight him. Okay?" Josh intertwined their fingers.
Tyler closed his eyes and began to cry. "J-Josh I-I'm s-sorry f-for everything I-I've p-put you t-through..."
Josh pulled him in for a tight hug. "Don't worry about it. Tyler, I would go through hell with you a million times if I had to."
Tyler buried his head into Josh's shoulder, still sobbing.

Weak fucking idiot.

I know Message.

Go kill yourself, you fucking gay idiot.

No.

You don't have a fucking choice.

Yes I do. Leave me the fuck alone.

Tyler cried harder into Josh's shoulder and Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler. "Tyler...calm down it's ok, it's all okay."
Tyler shook his head. "N-nothing is o-okay..." Tyler whispered, his voice shaking.
Josh didn't answer but pulled him closer and they both layed back on the bed, Tyler resting his head on Josh's chest.
Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler and Tyler moved so he could rest his head under Josh's neck.
"J-Josh..." Tyler whispered and wiped his tears away. "I-I'm s-sorry f-for everything...all I d-do I-is h-hurt y-y-you."
"Tyler. Love is pain, doesn't matter what kind of love. I don't care if you hurt me, I don't care Ty. I love you too much just to let you go."
Tyler kept quiet for several minutes. When he at last spoke, his voice sounded choked and weak. "I-I-I k-know. I j-just w-wish y-y-you saw h-how m-much I-I'm s-suffering."
"I do see, Ty." Josh said, his voice filled with sadness. "And I want to help. You just have to let me help Tyler."
Tyler closed his eyes, pain stabbing through him like a knife. "Josh...?"
"Hmm?" Josh ran his hands through Tyler's fluffy brown hair.
"He..." He hesitates and wipes away the tears that had begun to form. "He isn't talking anymore..."
Everything was silent in Tyler's head.
"What do you mean?" Josh asked.
"Message. He....he isn't saying anything." Tyler began to cry again. "He is gone Josh."
Josh smiled and kissed the top of Tyler's head. "Thats amazing."
Tyler smiled weakly. "He isn't gone forever. He'll be back but he is gone for now."
"I'm so glad. I love you Ty." Josh hugged Tyler even closer.
"I love you too Josh. And Josh?" Tyler said, still sounding somewhat sad.
"Yeah?" Josh went back to running his hands through Tyler's hair.
"I won't let go."
                     💛💛💛
Okay so I have really bad writers block right now, so forgive me for my late chapters :P
I would say the next chapter will be out Sunday, Monday or possibly sometime next week. Let's hope my writers block goes away!
💛~TylerDun💛

Message Man-«{Joshler}» HIATUSWhere stories live. Discover now