Feel the Fire (Yoonseok) ✔

Chapter 10

Hoseok got back to his dorm. He was relieved he had finally written to his family but he was also filled with guilt for asking about Yoongi's family. He just wanted to know but now it felt like he had gone too far.

Yoongi was a kind guy even though he was kind of cold. He didn't share much of his life or much of him in general, yet Hoseok was curious. So much that it now got the better of him.

Hoseok didn't bother knocking he just walked in. The second he opened the door he could feel Yoongi's gaze on him.

"Did you contact your family?" He asked in a shaky voice.

Hoseok sat down at the edge of his bed. His conversation with Jungkook seemed to find a way back into his thoughts. "Yeah, I sent them a letter." He quickly answered not wanting to seem suspicious.

Yoongi just nodded trying to concentrate on the book in front of him. The guy was fiddling with his fingers as if he was distracting himself of something. Once he let go to continue writing his papers his hands were shaking just slightly, he couldn't concentrate, his mind wasn't clear. Anyone could see Yoongi wasn't feeling well. Enough so to make Hoseok worry.

"Are you alright? You seem kind of tense?" Hoseok asked. Yoongi just nodded.

"Yeah, can you do me a favour?" He asked. Hoseok nodded quickly not sure what his roommate was talking about. "whatever you're hiding from me could you stop thinking about it?"

Hoseok felt the blood rush from his face. "I'm not hiding anything." He said not very persuasively.

"You know that the more someone pushes away his emotions or thoughts the easier it becomes for me to read them? I know when people are lying to me. I don't need to know whatever is on your mind so could you please stop making it so easy for me?" Yoongi explained in a quick tone.

Hoseok nodded. He knew he shouldn't have lied to Yoongi. What was he thinking? The guy could spot his lies a mile away.

Hoseok tried to clear his minds and push his thoughts away. It proved to be harder than he thought. Thinking about something was often considered a good thing, especially if you ended up with a good idea. Thinking about nothing however was much more difficult. 

Yoongi tried to distract himself but it was as if Hoseok's thoughts were shouting at him. He couldn't help it. Hoseok's thoughts were too loud for him to ignore. Even though it was just slightly he pushed past Hoseok's defences and looked at his memories. His secrets were right on top, one in particular that made him curious.

Yoongi opened his eyes again only to be met with a surprised Hoseok. "Is that what this is about? If you really wanted to know you could've just asked me." Yoongi said with a sigh. Hoseok didn't know whether it was from relief or annoyance, maybe a bit of both.

Hoseok simply blinked. "I-I'm sorry. I was curious but I didn't want to intrude. It wasn't my place to ask and..."

"Dude wake up, you're in the same room as someone who can constantly read your mind. It's only fair that you ask what you want as well." Yoongi interrupted him. He flashed Hoseok a sad smile.

It didn't take a genius to see how done Yoongi was with his ability. Anyone would love to read minds but for him it was more of a curse. It made him different, stronger, more powerful than anyone else. He didn't want it. It just reminded him how lonely he was being the only one in his family to be able to do this.

"I'm sorry, about your family." Hoseok suddenly said.

"Well stop, because I'm sure as hell not." Yoongi said. "every parent makes mistakes, I do not hate them for that, I don't hate them for giving me away. I do despise them  for not admitting their fault. Even after all these years they still can't bring themselves to even check on me. They don't care whether I live or die even though I am their son. Those are not the kind of parents that I would want."

His voice was filled with hatred yet he did his best to sound emotionless. They almost overruled the sadness hidden in his tone.

"What about you?" Yoongi asked meeting gazes with his roommate. The latter turned twice as pale.

"What about me?" Hoseok asked not losing eye contact.

"Your parents." Yoongi said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Uhm, well my dad has always looked after me because, you know, my mom died." Hoseok explained uncomfortably switching his seating position. He had never really talked with someone about his family. Most people in the village just accepted the fact that his mother had died and did not bother him with it.

"How?" Yoongi asked.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because normally you wouldn't care." Yoongi said. Hoseok just looked at him dumbfounded. He was right. Any secret at all, he would admit it, but his mother was something different. Talking about her was like his heart stopped working.

"She got killed, is that what you want to hear? Some drunkard stabbed her without regret until she was bled out on the floor of some filthy pub. She had magic as well. She could've just pushed him aside, protected herself, but she didn't. She just let him attack her." Hoseok explained with tears in his eyes. One rolled down over his cheek. He just reluctantly wiped it away. He didn't care anymore. It was not like Yoongi would look at him any differently. He had seen his memories, tears didn't affect his judgement anymore.

"She was kind." Yoongi spoke up in a quiet voice. He wasn't sure what to say about this situation.

"No, she was too kind. And it got her fucking killed." Hoseok spat out. Yoongi was shocked at his words. Hoseok didn't seem like the person to swear.

At that moment neither of them knew what to say. The only thing that interrupted the silence were Hoseok's sniffles as some more tears rolled down his cheeks. Yoongi sighed and stood up. He walked towards his roommate and sat down beside him.

"I'm sorry, about your mother." He said hesistantly. Other than that he had no clue what to say.

"Yeah, me too. Doesn't make it any better though, does it?" Hoseok said with a sad smile, the corners of his lips were easily pulled down again by an upcoming sob. He hid his face in his hands.

Yoongi hesistantly laid his hand on Hoseok's shoulder. Hoseok suddenly chuckled.

"I'm literally bawling my eyes out, I don't get more emotionally than this and yet now you're not in my mind." He said. Confusion was hidden in his broken voice.

"You're not trying to hide it anymore, that's what makes the difference." Yoongi explained. The boy beside him nodded in understanding.

"Well, if you want to read my mind again... know that it's okay.." Hoseok said in an unsure tone.

"Really?" Yoongi asked in surprise.

"Well we can also just continue like this but then by the end of the year we'll be arch enemies. I'd much rather be friends instead." Hoseok said.

"Thank you." Yoongi said putting his arms around his roommate and pulling him close. "and me too."