Closing Time: 11 PM

11. Weep Not For The Memories

Funny how you feel so much

But cannot say a word

We are screaming inside

But can't be heard

-I Will Remember You, Sarah McLaughlin

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People come and go.

When it happens, no one can tell. Why it happens, they say that it is for a good reason.

Who remained when not required was her family, her friends and relatives.

And Chad.

It was unexpected and weird that up to that point, he was still there. He became Kara's strong and sturdy wall. He kept her sane and alive.

It was the third day of the wake and they have decided to have the burial done that Thursday. They are not waiting for anyone at that point and decided it was best to stop making it harder each day. There were a lot of people who came the previous night and they all slept late. Chad had her sleep on his car like the first night and she followed him when Chad asks her to take some rest. He would serve food, make sandwiches, offer drinks to the visitors. He spent some of his own money for them whenever they have to buy some items at the market and even offered to have two of their househelp go there to assist them but it was too much so she declined.

They were wearing white that sunny Thursday. All the people on their fields were busy with their crops, all of them on their house were busy with the preparation to go to the church.

He himself was ready and was waiting for Kara to go out of the house but she hasn't for the past thirty minutes. He decided to go in and asked her sister but she didn't know where she went. Everyone was busy, frantic, and rushing.

He tried calling her but there was no answer. He decided to go to the kitchen where people were busy preparing lunch for those who will be attending the burial. He was about to go out when he saw the bathroom's door closed. Normally, it was kept open.

He knocked.

"Kara."

There was no answer. He tried it again and after a few more minutes, she responded and pushed the door open. She was already dressed and got out of the bathroom.

"Sorry, I took some time," she forced a smile despite her bloodshot eyes and quivering voice.

He lifted her face and saw that she hid in the bathroom to avoid having anyone see her cry. It was too painful for him to see her like that, as if ten thousand needles pricked his heart. He covered her with a tight embrace and kissed her head.

She broke free from him after some time and forced a smile.

"Sorry, medyo naipon," she smiled. "Pero last na yun."

"You don't have to say sorry for this. You can cry all you want, say what you want, faint if you want to and I'll be here. I wouldn't say anything," he told her. "He is your father."

"I know. I have to stay strong for Nanay. Ako ang inaasahan nila and I can't let them see this," she said.

"Shh," he silenced her by putting his thumb on her lips. "Tears are not signs of weakness. It is a sign of strength and courage to show you are bleeding. You are human, Kara. You have your own emotions. You are entitled to use them."

Kara nodded. "I'm sorry," she said and again, gave herself a chance to break into tears on his chest.

The procession going to the church was an agony. He spent a day with them as complete and he felt at that point that he is a part of them. They welcomed and loved him without questions and now that one has to go, he was feeling the same dread. Kara kept on crying since they started walking and he remained sturdy beside her. He was her wall she leans into, the posts that keep her uphold, the roof that protects her from any other harm. After the ceremony at the church, they headed to the cemetery where his remains would be sheltered. Kara was still standing straight despite the rivers of tears and before it was sealed, she threw the stem of flower inside and bid her father goodbye.