Teenage Wasteland {hood a.u.}

Chapter 9- Repent And Repeat

Monday, July 15th, 2013

Dear Dallas,

I’m getting better at this. Getting back into writing to you. My therapist thinks it’s a good idea, to write to you. To vent. She thinks I need it.

I’m sorry if it seems like I only write to you when I’m angry at the world, but that’s because that really is only when I write to you. You were the only one who understood me. You were literally my other half. You were my twin, we were inseparable. God Dallas, I need you.

I have Calum now, I guess that makes it okay.

He found out today. He found out about you, mom and dad. He found out.

I guess I should tell you how then, well he took me home. Well my old home. Where mom mom and pop pop live. I needed to get more clothes, because I am going to be staying with Rachel for the rest of summer. He offered to drive me, and I gladly accepted considering it wasn’t that far away from Huntington Beach. When we got there, pop pop was there. He gave us a simple nod before turning back to watching TV and sipping his coffee. Calum walked with me upstairs to my room. He didn’t really help me pack though, he just sat on my bed and turned on the TV and started watching “Friends” on OnDemand. He saw my medication. He saw the capsule on the bedside table and asked me what it was. He had a look of complete confusion on his face, Dallas. It was scary. Then I realized, he actually cared. He cared. I told him that I’ve had to take pills for a couple of years, and he nodded simply and told me that he had to take pills too. But, we didn’t get into any further detail about it because I didn’t want to push him and I didn’t want him to know that there was something wrong with me. When I was finished packing my suitcase, I went into the bathroom to grab like another deodorant and my hair straightener, because I only brought my curler with me. We passed your room, and he asked me whose room it was. He seemed curious, he walked into the room and looked around. And picked up a few of your trophies from soccer, and told me that he played too. I told him it was yours, and then he asked me where you were. And that, Dallas, is when I broke down. I cried. He asked me what was wrong, and I knew I couldn’t get around it. I knew I had to tell him. I told him, about you. How you died of cancer, he asked me where my parents were. I told him. How they died on impact, everything. He didn’t say anything and he let me cry in his arms. It was nice.

I’ll continue this later, Calum’s picking me up for dinner and I have to get ready. I’ll try to write when I get home.

Love you,

Jasey.