Teenage Wasteland {hood a.u.}

Chapter 17- Angel With A Shotgun

Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Dear Dallas,

Yesterday was prodigious. (I really hope you know what that means because I don’t feel like explaining it to you in all honesty). Well, we ended up somewhere in Northern California, I don’t know exactly what city it’s called because I was writing to you when we passed the sign, sorry about that.

We’re still on the coast of California, meaning that we are still near the beach. After we got to the motel, we dropped our stuff in our room. Yes, our room. I trust Calum, I trust that he won’t take advantage of me. He’s really genuine… Once you get to know him. He honestly seemed like such a prick when I met him. Remember my first entry about him? I literally thought he was such a douche.

I’m happy. I’m actually happy, Dallas. Can’t you be fucking happy for me? I feel like you’re mad at me. Because whenever I’m happy I feel like you’re judging me. Like I shouldn’t be allowed to be happy. Because I am still living, whilst you’re not. I don’t know if it’s fair, but I don’t want to argue with the logic. I am happy that I’m living now, though. I’m not just surviving anymore, I’m living.

“I, wanna live, not just survive” -- Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab.

Anywho, he took me to this little cozy place down on the beach. It was kind of like closed off. Not quite like a cave but it was private. I feel like maybe he was the only person who knew about it because it seemed so dead there. Like there was actually no life going on there. It seemed like the moon, if I’m being honest.

I’m really glad yesterday happened. I’m glad that he convinced me to not sit around moping around because my best friend is in the hospital. I am completely aware that I sound like a bitch right now, but I’m on cloud nine and nothing can take me off of it.

Calum opened up to me yesterday. It’s a big step in our relationship, and I’m extremely proud and supportive of him. I learnt more about him. I know we haven’t been dating for too long. But, it was honestly so nice. I think we’ve been technically dating for a month now? I’m such a shit girlfriend for not knowing the exact date. Calum says that we started dating on the first date we went on. Which is when…? Hold on, I’m going to read some of my entries to figure it out. Hold on.

Saturday, June 22nd, 2013. That was our first ‘date’. Our first night that we had a deep talk was Friday, June 21st, 2013. Who would’ve thunk that we would continue that ritual and talk every night? I know it doesn’t really seem like long, but honestly when you spend everyday with someone, it feels like longer. I don’t know if you’d know this feeling, Dallas. I really wish you were able to feel this emotion, it’s wonderful. Love is wonderful. I don’t think I’m ‘in love’, maybe falling, but not in love. We haven’t known each other long enough for that, anyway.

Back to yesterday, when we were in the little cove thing he had blankets and pillows with him-- I mean when does he not? It’s weird. Note to self: ask Calum why he carries blankets and pillows with him. Anyways, we laid down next to eachother.

It’s actually quite shocking how fast I opened up to him, considering that I’m not normally like this.

Carrying on, we laid there, overlooking the beach. It was breathtaking. I told Calum that it was truly beautiful and that I was complete aw. He told me that this beach couldn’t compare to my beauty. I told him that he was being cheesy. He told me that it must be one of the reasons why I liked him. I couldn’t help but blush. He’s such a softie when it comes down to it. I wouldn’t expect it, considering that I thought he was going to be a prick. He seemed so punk, so bad. But, he’s not. On the inside he’s just a little boy with a bad past. I can relate to him, a lot actually that it’s scary.