Teenage Wasteland {hood a.u.}

Chapter 10- Check Yes Juliet

Tuesday, July 16th, 2013

Dear Dallas,

Long time, no talk? Haha, I crack myself up. I know if you were with me right now you’d be glaring at me but I know you’d crack, and let a smug smirk place over your lips.

I guess I should finish where I left off with telling you about what happened with Calum. After I was done sobbing into his arms, he placed his thumb under my chin to bring my gaze up to his chocolatey brown eyes. He told me that everything was going to be fine. The difference between him and everyone else, is that I actually believed him when he said it. He didn’t tell me that I was crazy. He then asked me if I was okay, which I shook my head too quickly. He seemed to understand and began rubbing circles into my back, trying to calm me down. Considering that I was still shaking. I told him everything. I don’t know why. I just did. It felt nice to be able to tell someone. I mean, I try to talk to my therapist but it’s hard. I don’t want her to know. She’ll judge me. But, I feel like Calum knows pain, and he won’t judge me. He accepts me. It feels good to be accepted. When I told him that they think I have schizophrenia, he didn’t look at me like I was crazy. When I told him that I have post-traumatic stress disorder, he told me that it makes sense considering all of the tragic events that happened in my past. He told me that everything that has happened does not define me. He says the way I handle situations, and how I carry myself is how I am defined. I smiled shyly at him. He gets me.

I know, Dallas, I know how cheesy and cliche that sounds, but it’s true. I know that if you were here with me right now, you’d be rolling your eyes. You’d be telling me how much of a girl I sound like.

But, he continually held me and kept whispering things into my ear like, ‘you’re fine’, ‘nothing’s wrong with you’, it made me feel better. I don’t know why, but it did.

He handled this all surprisingly well, considering most of my friends have just came to the conclusion that I am insane. Which I am not. I just have quite a few mental illnesses. But, that does not make me any different from anyone else. We all have our faults.

The best people, are the most insane.

I have been taking my new medication. It helps me stay on topic more, but I don’t know if I like it all that much. It makes me feel different. Or maybe it’s normal. I don’t know, I’ve never felt like ‘normal’ before, so I would not know.

He took me to a nice restaurant. (Fast forward to our date a couple of hours ago). I got home at midnight, wow. I know you’re scolding at me, but knock it off please, while I try to tell you how my date went. He was a gentleman, which is surprising. Like I mean, he’s a nice guy and all but his outer appearance would make you think otherwise. He wore a denim button up and black skinny jeans and all black vans. He had his lip piercing in, and he had his bottom up unbottoned just a little bit so you could see a little bit of his tattoo. He looked incredibly hot, scratch that, I mean handsome. I know how you’d feel if I were to ever call a guy hot in front of you. I can literally see you cringing right now. Grow up, Dallas. Anyways, we ate at an old diner. It was cute. It was kind of like the one that he took me to on our first ‘date’, when we went out for breakfast. He paid for the bill, even though I told him that I could get it.

Oh, before I forget. I want to tell you what I wore. I wore a beatles shirt, (yes it used to be yours), but I cut it so it was a cropped top and mom had sewn it before so there was elastic in it so it looked professionally done. Since the shirt was black, I wore a high waisted black skater skirt with it too, and dark grey over the knee socks and my red doc martens. I only wore my red ones because the beatles shirt had red writing on it, but you know that anyways because it was your shirt. Sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I keep babbling. I’m sorry, Dallas. OKAY BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY HAIR! This is really girly, you can skip this if you want Dallas. I curled my hair, into beach waves. I then took my bangs and secured them on the back of my hair with a clear elastic. I used a red/maroon hair bow to hide the clear elastic. I also just wore mascara, and did a cat eye and wore some light pink lip gloss. I didn’t want to look like I was trying hard, but I was. I don’t want him thinking that I’m a sociopath after telling him everything.

After he paid for dinner, he took my out to a movie. We saw ‘We’re The Millers’. Yeah, I know not some horror movie or chick flick that people normally go on dates to. Shocker, we’re not normal. Anyways, by the time the movie was over it was only 9:30 pm. We then proceeded to walk down the boardwalk, stopping in random stores that caught our attention. We went into a sunglass hut and tried on 30 pairs of sunglasses each, and walked out with nothing. We went up to a vender when we were both extremely hungry, and sat down at a table underneath an umbrella and shared a funnel cake and cheese fries. We shared a popcorn during the movie so we we’re kind of hungry, considering that Calum salted the entire bucket of popcorn.

While we were walking towards the beach there was a man selling balloons and flowers. Calum bought himself a balloon hat, while he also bought me one as well, he also bought one tulip. When we got our feet in the sand, he scratched the back of his neck with his hand that wasn’t holding the tulip and he smiled at me. An award winning smile, literally. He looked like a puppy. He looked so nervous. He is literally the cutest thing I have ever laid my eyes on. He has really defined cheekbones, but at the same time his cheeks are so chubby that you just want to pinch them. When he smiled at me, I knew something was up. So I asked him what he was up to, and he handed me the tulip and gave me a nervous chuckle. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I know, it’s insane. But, I said yes. I said yes before my brain could even process what was going on. He lifted me up and spun me around, while I hung onto him for dear life.

I think I said yes because I really like him. Or maybe it was because he fascinates me. Or maybe it could be the fact that he is still a mystery to me. Or, it could possibly be that he may be more fucked up than I am, and I just need to find out what it is.

-Jasey xx