The Bad Boys Weird Girl

Husband

~Food is my husband......And he loves me! Jealous Yet?! ~

:-)

~Anonymous

My bed  is so warm and comfortable. HEY! Hold up why does my bed is suddenly breathing and has arm?

My eyes flutter open to see and muscular arm, draped around my waist. I let out a blood curdling scream and hit the stalker in the face.

"What in the world!" The husky voice yelled, suddenly on alarm looking for danger.

"Why are you in my bed, you creeper!" I yell,at the creepers face and then I noticed it was Xander, but my yelling didn't subsided.

"Get out of my house right this ducking instance." I breath out, trying to put a cap on my anger.

"Naaah.......I think I will stay here and bug you for a while."

"Motherducker!" I muttered, walking towards my closet. "Now if you don't mind, I would like to take a shower now, bye bye!" I pointed out my room and into the hallway. He got up after, some persuasion, I told him if he doesn't get out of my room in a minute I would cut his baby makers off and feed them to him, he got out of my room very quickly.

~*~ ~*~

"Food! Mama's here don't cry! I am sorry if I left you alone with the asshole to long!" I shrieked, while wrapping my arms around the fridge.

Which earned some laughs from Xander. I would love to hit him with my fridge right now.

~*~ ~*~

"Yes! I do!" I screamed.

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!

I am married!

I am getting married!

I am getting married to food!

He is my husband! I am sooo, lucky to have him!

He gave me a ringpop,for our wedding ring. Isn't that so sweet!

"Do you need help?" Xander called from the living room. That motherducker still won't leave.

"Nope!"

I ran in to the living room and I quickly sat down beside him with my husband in my hands. "Xander, I would like you to meet my husband!"

"I think I might go call the very, nice people in white and there going to take you to a special place for special people like you." Xander, said very slowly, like he was talking to my parents! Sometimes, you have to talk slowly to my parents because there just awesome like that.

"I know I am special! You don't need to say it, because I already know." I snapped whilst crawling up next to him, "But Xander , I could go call those people in white to take you to that special place, for you can become special to!" I yelled happily while clapping my hands.

"I give up! I am leaving this place before I go mad!" He shouted tiredly, and ran out my house to his house.

Leaving me and my husband alone!

Husband, I am so sorry but today it the day you leave the world and go into food heaven with all my other husband's!

'Goodbye. I love you, and tell my other husband's, I still love them too!' I thought while ripping the chips bag open and devouring, my husband.Hmmm.....he taste so good!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~ Daesha