It always hurts when the people you love betray you. I thought he loved me. I guess it wasn't meant to be. He hurt me really bad and he can't fix it. No matter how hard he tries.
What he said punctured my heart like knives. And now I'm bleeding internally. Tears run down my cheeks as I walk back to my apartment to grab my things.
My phone had been going off like crazy, probably due to Evan calling me over twenty times in the past half hour.
And no matter what people say, the pain doesn't go away. Because those words leave scars. And when you look at them you refer every single little thing you hate about yourself.
"Oh my god you are so ugly."
"Yeah, I know."
"He will never love someone as worthless as you."
"That's what I tell myself all the time."
"You will never be enough."
"Believe me, I know that's true."
Your so ugly
Yes I know
Your not good enough
Stop
He can't love you, your so pathetic
Leave me alone.
Weak
Alone
Useless
Fat
Unloved
Depressed
Psycho
Emo
Attention whore
"How could I ever love you?"
"You don't have to."
My mind is killing me slowly. Words tear through me like knives and puncture my skin. And his words flow through me and sting like hundreds of little paper cuts. And I feel myself begin to lose control.
My arms itch with a want for pain. I rub my arms to get rid of the wanting sensation but it doesn't stop.
I want to hurt. I do hurt. But maybe if I can inflict enough pain on the exterior of my body it will balance out the pain on the inside.
I want to scream until my throat bleeds from the force acting upon it. I want to see my blood and feel the pain that's kept me human for so many years.
You see... when people hurt themselves, it isn't because they are sad. It's because they want to know they are human. That they feel things other then sadness. Pain, they want to know they can feel it.
Another round of vibrations come from my phone and I hesitantly answer the call.
"Where are you?" A concerned voice asks me.
"I am hiding within the confines of my mind which are slowly but surely torturing me." I reply.
"Please just come home. We need to talk." Evan says again.
"I'm already heading that way." I say. But he doesn't really know where I'm going.
I'm not going home. I'm going to a place that relentlessly tortures my mind with insults and points out my insecurities.
That apartment is where all his past girlfriends and friends throw their insults at me and he doesn't even notice. But it's my fault that I love him.
And I don't know why. So as I walk through these front doors and into my bedroom, I feel the need to end it all.
I grab a sharpie, and his pistol from put of his room and walk into the bathroom.
"(Y/N) what are you doing?" He screams when he realizes what I just brought into the bathroom. I lock the door and turn on the hot water all the way so it fills the bathtub.
I grab the razor from the edge of the bathtub and snap the plastic in half, picking up one of the blades.
I lift up my sleeves to show the past cuts that I've made over the years.
"(Y/N) Please don't do this!" He shouted again.
"Tyler call 911!" Evan urged. I guess I didn't notice he was here.
I drug the sleek blade across my skin, creating a dark red line of my blood. I did this over and over for almost five minutes.
"My arms are covered in red. Can't wait until the same color comes from my head." I said loudly.
Suddenly loud bangs were coming from the door. Evan is trying to break it down.
I looked at the overflowing tub of hot water and stepped in it. The scolding hot liquid burnt my skin, and as I lowered myself down it stung my cuts.
I grabbed the pistol and took a bullet out, before writing Evans name on it. I loaded the gun again and held it to my head.
The door flew off its hinges and I looked to see a bewildered Evan staring at me with wide eyes.
"I wrote your name on this bullet. So they would know that you were the last thing to go through my head." I say while making eye contact.
"No." He whispered as I smiled at him.
Bang.
-----------
We'll fuck my life. I'm sad tonight because shit. So is wrote a sad oneshot. What the fuck ever.
As always
Stay fruity
-DAB
P.s. I just re-uploaded this because there were some typos that made this sound stupid. Ahem dyssyRabbit shut the fuck up. You wanna go reread it now?
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Vanossgaming Crew One shots
Fanfic**Trigger Warning** There will be self harm in this book, along with suicide and such. This book contains happy, sad, and weird one shots. Requests are always open until I state that they are not. I may write smut in the future but as of now it's...
