Dirty
Loreen struggles with life, like most teenagers. But unlike a lot of other teenagers, her father is abusive, sexually and physically. It really gets to Loreen but it isn't like she can do anything about it, she has no other family except for...
After Ethan tells me about his dreams, I talk to him for a while. He says that he wants to be with Loreen forever, he just doesn't know how to tell her about the dreams without scaring her away.
He says he wants to be alone for a little while, so I leave. I decide to check on Loreen before I go for my jog. I try to open her door, but it is locked. It wasn't locked when I left. I knock on the door and wait.
"Who is it?" Loreen asks.
"Gray. Why is the door locked?" I ask her.
"Wait a sec," she says. I hear the door unlock and her peek out the cracked door. "What do you want."
"I was just checking on you. How are you doing?" I ask.
"Fine," she says.
"Why was your door locked?" I ask her.
"I can have privacy. I can do things by myself. Right now, I want to be alone. So, yes. I am fine. Now go do whatever you boys do when they are bored," she says as she closes the door and locks it again.
Whoa. I thought she was off of her period. I understand, though. I walk out the front door and start jogging.
Loreen's P.O.V.
I felt bad for being mean to Grayson. I just want to be alone. I don't want him to figure out about the cuts. I hope neither of them ever find out. I will make sure that they don't.
I walk out of my room and head downstairs to get food. I use the wall to support me. I get the bread out and the peanut butter out. I am in the middle of getting the jelly out when Ethan walks in the kitchen.
He doesn't say anything to me. He walks past me and goes to the can goods. He pulls out two cans of ravioli. He opens them and puts them in a bowl. He microwaves them.
I try not to move my leg too much. I don't want him to see me limping. I turn my back to him. Why should I care? He doesn't want to be with me.
"I don't like fighting, Lor," he says. I don't say anything. My eyes start to water up. My back is still to him. "Please talk to me, Lor." I stay silent.
"Damnit!" he says. "Loreen. I fucking love you! Please fucking talk to me. Please," he says. His voice is shaky and heavy.
I turn around and face him. Tears are running down my face and I don't bother wiping them.
"What is there to talk about, Ethan?" I say. He stays quiet. "What is there to talk about?! You would rather talk to Grayson. I don't care. He is you brother, but still. I want you to be able to trust me. Why don't you talk to me? Why don't you trust me?!" I say loudly, not quite screaming.
"I do trust you! I trust you so so so much. I just don't know how to." He cuts himself off and walks over to me. I don't move. "I trust you," he says quietly, pulling me into his chest.
His hands are on my shoulders. They move down to my waist. Down to my hips. To the top of my legs. To my thighs. I feel pain. I try not to feel the pain of the cuts that are rubbing against my sweats. I try not to cry out or whimper but a sound of pain slips from my mouth.
Ethan looks at me, confused.
"Are you okay?" he asks me. His eyes are so beautiful and I want to tell him what I did. His voice float back into my head: I love her, Grayson. I really do. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know what he meant by that. It could have meant a lot of different things. I still take it as he doesn't want to be with me. No matter what, though, I can't let him know what I did.
"I'm fine," I say. I push him away from me and turn around.
"What is going on, Lor," he says.
"Nothing. I'm fine," I say. I can't say his name. I can't.
"Bullshit, Loreen. That's bullshit," he says.
"My legs are sore from you," I say, making up an excuse.
"Bullshit," he says again. "It wouldn't hurt from me lighly touching your leg."
"You don't know!" I say.
"Loreen!" he yells.
"Ethan!" I scream back.
"What the fuck is going on?" he says.
"Fucking nothing, Ethan. Nothing," I say.
"Lor..." Ethan says.
"Leave me alone, Ethan. Just leave me alone," I say. I walk up to my room with a plate with two peanut butter jelly sandwitchs and some pringles. I have a glass of milk, too.
He isn't ever going to find out about it and that is a promise.
Ethan's P.O.V.
I know that something is wrong. I don't know what is wrong, though. She seemed so bitchy and upset. I want to talk to her about the dreams. I love her and I want her to know that. I want her to know that I trust her and care for her. That I would keep her safe, no matter what my dream hold. I love her and I don't like seeing her in pain.
I am going to find out what is going on and that is a promise.
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