Dirty
Loreen struggles with life, like most teenagers. But unlike a lot of other teenagers, her father is abusive, sexually and physically. It really gets to Loreen but it isn't like she can do anything about it, she has no other family except for...
After the chat with my sister, I head back up to Ethan's room. I lay next to him but no matter what, I can't seem to fall asleep. I lay in the bed next to Ethan and play with his hair carefully, trying to not wake him up.
I am unsuccessful, though. I hear him groan and he turns to me. "Mornin' sweet cheeks," he says in a deep morning voice, chuckling.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. You can go back to sleep," I whisper.
"Why are you up? You okay?" he asks me.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I just can't get to sleep. I have a lot on my mind," I whisper to him.
"Loreen?" he says.
"Yes, Ethan?" I ask.
"Are. You. Okay?" he asks, sounding out each word.
"I don't know. I'm just thinking and can't really get to sleep. I'm overthinking," I say.
"Grayson has that problem too. What are you thinking about?" he asks. He set his hand in mine and rubs small circles, calming me down a bit.
"Just thinking. You know, it's stupid, Ethan. I'm just thinking about my father. Like, what made him think that it was okay to do what he did. Maybe he could get help. What if my and Trinity could persuade him to get help?" I ramble.
"You could try it but do you trust him? Do you trust yourself and him enough to face him and tell him to get help? If not, then don't do it but if you want to do that then that is totally up to you. Just know that whatever decision you make, I will always be behind you. I fully support you," Ethan says.
"That helps me out, Ethan. It really does. It gives me so much confidence that you trust my decisions. It helps a lot," I say to him.
"Okay. Let's talk it over in the morning. Try to get some sleep until then," he says, tiredly.
"Okay. Sorry," I say.
"Don't ever apologize for me being there for you. That is what I am here for," he says.
"Okay," I say. I scoot closer to him and lay my head on his chest. "I love you, Ethan."
"And I you. Much much more," he says.
"I doubt that," I say. His hand rubs my shoulder and for the first time tonight, I start to fall asleep.
I wake up in the morning to an empty bed. I hear the shower running. Ethan must be in there. I step out of the bed and slip out of Ethan's room. I go to my room, hoping that Grayson doesn't come out of his room.
I make it to my room and close and lock my door. I head straight for the shower as my mind goes back to what I was thinking about last night.
I want to ask Trinity if she will come with me to our father's house and try to talk him into getting help. I don't understand why he would think that it was logically okay to do the things he did to me, Trinity, and our mom.
I hop out of the shower and get dressed, throwing on my underwear and sweats with a loose fitting shirt. I tie my hair up and my a headband on. I leave my room and see Trinity sitting on the couch tying her shoes.
"Hey, Trin. Can I talk with you? I have some things that I want to talk to you about," I say to her.
"Yeah, whats up?" she says, still tying her shoes.
"So I was thinking last night. I was wondering if you would be up to going over to dads with me and maybe--"
She cuts me off, "No."
"You didn't even let me finish," I exclaim.
"I'm sorry. I do not want to see that man ever again in my life. In fact, I hate being in the town. I only came by to make sure you were okay. I was planning on leaving, like today," she says.
"So you're just gonna leave. I want your help to persuade dad into getting help. I NEED your help, Trinity," I beg her.
"Look Loreen. I love you with everything I have but don't do anything. Don't mess with him. He is too messed up. I'm sorry but I am not going to face that horrible man. I'm sorry. Some things you just have to do on your own. Now that I know that you are okay, I am leaving. I can't be here any longer. I love you and please stay safe," she gets up and leaves a kiss on my forehead as she walks out of the house.
I feel hurt but I can't seem to show it. I feel betrayed but I'm numb. I feel like screaming but I am silent. I don't know what to do.
I grab my phone off the counter where I left it last night. I shove it in my pocket and head out of the door heading to my old home. Heading to my fathers house. Alone.
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