The Rouge Violinist (Kousei x Female Reader)

(8) Hidden Depression

Kousei's pov

I spent days sitting down at my piano and practicing that piece. Unlike Kaori, (y/n) was really light hearted about practicing, almost too light hearted. She was constantly telling me to "relax" and "have confidence in myself". I told Hiroko about it, asking for advice, and all I got was a laugh and "still the same old (y/n)", I was growing frustrated. If (y/n) would have told me that she was going to brush off a competition like this, then I wouldn't be practicing so hard. I don't know how she is remaining so composed, the competition is in two days. I slammed my head into the piano keys, and Hiroko looked at me like I was insane. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Hiroko had demanded I had practiced at her house so she could help me improve.

"Listen Kousei, I get you're frustrated, but believe me when I say this. (y/n) has always been like this, if she needed to practice as much as regular musicians, I would have been up her ass days ago. I was in your position once, and she did the same thing to me, you'll be surprised what the kid can do." I looked up at her, and felt a faint bit of relief, faint, but still relief. "Thanks Hiroko, but I just don't understand, how can she practically sight read a sheet of music and perform it perfectly, she just sounds lazy to me." I saw Hiroko's eyes darken and she lifted me up, again, by the collar of my shirt. "What the hell did you just say?" I felt my body freeze. "N-N-Nothing!" I said, in a hurry just to push out one word. "Good, now, let's get practicing, hmm?"

Your pov (and le time skip to next day)

Ugh this was torture, I ran home with Tsubaki after we hung out together. Although I may have not been the most athletic person on the planet, but I was never this tired, never. Ugh, this was not fun, especially after running into a few things from exhaustion, and my eye patch. I've got to say, I would have never expected having to see through one eye would be so difficult. Now I was sweating buckets and feeling like my knees could give out from under me at any moment and I would never see it coming. I hope Kousei isn't as frustrated as Hiroko was when I introduced her to my lack of practices. I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling, and decided to lift my eye patch slightly. I looked around with my sore eye, trying to stretch my length of vision, and adjust back to the lighting.

I got up and looked at myself in my dresser mirror and cringed at my clearly unpleasant appearance. I averted my gaze from the unsightly black eye I had given myself, and down to the chipped dresser corner. I quickly pulled my eye patched down, being careful not to end up making the matter worse, and started to change into a more comfortable set of clothes, something that would make my eye patch look almost... complimenting?

When I had looked at my appearance, I smirked. I had wore a wide black crop top, (you can add an underneath layer if you'd like, for example a camisole or something.) and a pair of jeans, with some open finger gloves. I smiled at my reflection and began walking to pick up my violin when I heard my aunt call to me. "(y/n), we have to go to your doctor appointment, hurry up and get you butt down here!" She yelled from what seemed like the kitchen. "Coming!!" I yelled in response. I slipped on a pair of combat boots and rushed down the stairs, gripping onto the handrail tightly. Ugh, why another doctor appointment.

-le time skip to after appointment-

I was running into the forest in the backyard of me and my aunt's house, tears running down my face and my violin strapped to my back. Everything I felt, was painful, even my usually colorful world was running like fresh paint splattered onto a canvas. I put my violin down on the ground and hiked my sorry ass up a tree, desperate to just get even a small break from reality. I had laid myself upon a thick tree branch, letting my arms hang down behind me and my tears seep down my cheeks and fall to the grass below. I tried to keep my vision focused on the slowly decay cherry blossoms above me, trying to regain color like I had done so many time before, but it was hopeless.

The tree was telling me that there was no more fighting left for me to do, there was no point in me regaining my color.

I picked up my (f/c) colored phone and dialed Kousei's number, Tsubaki had given it to me a couple of days ago. It rang a couple of times and I heard Kousei on the other line. "Uh, hello, who is this?" He had asked, in his usual monotone voice. "Kousei, it's (y/n), a-and I-I, need to tell you something important." I said, trying to hold back my tears, but failed. I ended up letting a few fall and that came with a couple of stutters and voice cracks. "(Y/n)? What's wrong, you sound upset?" He asked. "I think w-we should c-call of the competition." I threw my hand over my mouth realizing how hard that was for me.

Kousei's pov

I felt my eyes widen with shock. "(y/n) what are you talking about, I thought you were excited about it?" I said, kind of concerned. "K-Kousei, I can't, I just can't play anymore!" I couldn't bare to hear this any longer, she was giving up something she was so passionate about, there is something seriously wrong. "(Y/n), where are you, I need to see you, now."

There was a small pause in between the call and I heard a small sniffle that made my heart want to shatter. "I'll meet you at the park, how about that?" She said, in a small tear jerking voice that I didn't even know she was capable of making. "I'm on my way now." And with that, I was out the door, not caring if Hiroko was yelling after me, she was more important.

(I made this chapter slightly longer in hopes for making up for yesterday. Also, things may seem rather vague right now, but everything will make sense in due time, I am just trying to build a story ground. Thanks for reading. BYEE! <3 :3)