The Rouge Violinist (Kousei x Female Reader)

(17) I'm Listening

Your POV

I sat in the same bland old hospital bed I have been sitting in for the past week. I have been getting constant calls and texts from various loved ones, even a couple from Emi, though I don't know how she got my number, I appreciated the concern. But, being the bitch I am, I wouldn't pick up any, I didn't want them to see me in my worst condition.

But all of that wasn't even the worst part, it was the fact that I was going to call my aunt and friends today about my condition, but I haven't even gotten any better, and I am scared.

I don't know what I should do, but I have decided to ask Mrs. Oshiro about it.

"Hi (y/n)~." Speak of the devil, Mrs. Oshiro came into my room, calling my name in a sing song tone of voice.

"Hi Mrs. Oshiro, what is the plan for today." I said, placing the book I was reading in my lap.

"I thought you said you were going to call your aunt, talking about your condition?" Mrs. Oshiro asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Well, that was the plan but, I haven't been getting any better, I don't want anyone to see me this weak, so I decided to push it off until I'm better. I think it's the wisest decision." I said, trying to stabilize my tears of loneliness. "At least I hope so."

Mrs. Oshiro sighs and walks over to my bed putting her clipboard down on the desk. "Are you sure that's why?"

I forced my gaze to lock with hers, with an expression of shock appearing my face.

"What's really wrong?"

Tears began to trickle down the side of my face. "You saw right through me, huh?" I asked, lowering my head back down.

"I just don't want to see anyone, it will bring back happy memories, and make me feel even worse about living than I already do. All I will be able to make now are memories that are better left forgotten, I can't have happiness anymore, I don't want to see the past moments I've had." I said sobbing into my palms.

I feel two arms wrap around my shoulders, as Mrs. Oshiro tries to comfort me. "Listen to me (y/n), you may not have enough storage for all of those happy memories left, but I know that there is someone out there who is desperately worried about you, they've come in here trying to see if you were okay, said something about you missing. I lied and said you haven't been here since February 1st, but it was really hard to, the kid was an absolute mess."

My soul feels like it could explode at any moment, had someone finally cared? Is there really someone out there who could show me I'm not just 'a useless pile of dog shit' like my mother used to say?

"(y/n), I think you need to man up and call your friends. I've already informed your aunt, but she said she came down with a small cold, and doesn't want to make you sick, so she is staying home until she's better."

Even though I had found out that Mrs. Oshiro called my aunt without me knowing, I didn't care at that moment, I was thankful she talked me out of my nonsense.

I nodded in agreement and pulled out my phone. I looked at all the missed calls, 12 from Tsubaki, 14 from Watari, 5 from Emi, 25 from Hiroko, 37 from my aunt, and worst of all, 64 from Kousei.

My heart shattered a bit, I felt terrible, making them worry like that, this is all of my fault. A small droplet of my sadness was resting on the screen of my phone.

Without anymore hesitation, I pressed on the contact that read

'Kousei Arima <3'

Kousei's POV

I had basically locked myself in my room for that past week, not wanting to move. (y/n) had basically vanished off of the face of the earth and I was insanely empty.  I sat on the floor of my room, staring at the ceiling with puffy eyes.

I hadn't eaten in about three days, I had run out of the small snacks I had scattered in my room, and hadn't slept the entire week, I was a god awful mess.

I just wanted to sob, over and over again, I really did have nothing better to do anyway.

(y/n) disappearing had been beyond painful, the fact I don't know where she is hurts even more, but me not knowing if she's okay, is the worst part.

When I found out that she was gone, I felt a part of myself getting ripped away, and I saw everything around me vanish into a monotone world of hell.

***RING***

The dreadful sound of my phone had went off again, apparently people have been worried about me, at least according to Hiroko from beyond the door.

I didn't bother picking it up, assuming it was just another annoying complaint from Tsubaki, or a terrible attempt from Watari at trying to comfort me.

The ringing went silent and I felt my ears start to ring a bit from the sudden change of sound, but it ended soon enough.

My phone played the dumb massage that I had practically memorized from calling

(y/n)'s phone too many times to count.

As expected, another person had left a voicemail, I was about to just turn the thing off, but the voicemail beat me.

"Hey Kousei, it's (y/n), I know you probably hate me right about now, but I just wanted to apologize for not answering any of your guys' calls. I thought now that I had finally manned up enough to call you guys, I'd call you first Mister I Called Sixty-Four Times, heh. If you want to know where I am, I'm at the hospital you last saw me, the nurse lied to you about my whereabouts because I wasn't ready to see anyone yet. I do hope you come down to visit me, I've been super lonely over here without anyone, I'll see you, bye."

The voice that came through that phone made me feel too many emotions to count, but I didn't care. At that very moment, I was running out of the door, not having a care in the world how weird I looked, running at top speed into a hospital.

"O-Oh, hi, h-how may I help you?" The now startled receptionist asked.

"I'm... here... to see... (y-"

"(y/n), right?" I tall ginger haired nurse walked out from behind the desk and looked at me sympathetically. "She honestly thought you wouldn't come. I didn't really either, considering you didn't actually pick up her call."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her calling me."

"Yeah, yeah, room 222, I'm sure you already new that though."

She must have realized that her statement was correct by me already sprinting down the hallway.

I reached the door with the name plate labeled "(y/f/n) (y/l/n)" and without moments hesitation, I busted into the room and ran to (y/n), embracing her.

"Hey." She spoke casually, not even sounding slightly surprised. "You know I could hear your loud mouth in the lobby from here."

I pulled back from the hug and looked at her deaa in the eyes. "Please tell me you're okay?"

She smiled at me and I felt a small breeze blow away all of my worries, but only for a minute, because a river of tears started to flow from (y/n)'s eyes.

"Kousei, I need you to sit down and listen to me, I think it's about time I told you the entire story, I haven't been honest with you, and the guilt is eating away at me."

I sat down on the bed and rubbed comforting circles on the back.

"Don't Worry, I'm listening."

(Time to come clean, the next chapter, being tomorrow's, might be a lot shorter than usual, just warning you in advance. I do hope you like that I am a daily updater, I really hate when authors write a half assed chapter and then make their readers wait like one to two months for the next chapter.)