The Rouge Violinist (Kousei x Female Reader)

(35) Maybe This was Meant to be my End

Kousei's POV

     "(Y/N)!" Kaori shrieked, throwing her ghostly arms around (y/n) as they both lightly giggled. "It's been so long since I've seen you, I must say, you always have looked god in white." (y/n) said with a smile after clearing her throat.

"Aw come on, stop flattering me." Kaori said with a pink dust appearing over her ghostly complexion. "But I don't think now is the time for friendly reunions," Suddenly, she turned to me with a cold glare. ",or for friend A over here to be awkward." Kaori spoke through gritted teeth.

"Come on Kousei, don't be a stranger, come here." (y/n) said, opening her arms, beckoning me over for an embrace, to which I accepted.

When I did accept, I noticed something different. Her skin was cold, like ice, my worry rivalling that of what it was when I saw how pale she was.

"I'm glad I could see you, Kaori, could you give us a moment, please?" (y/n) asked sweetly.

"Sure thing." Kaori said, walking out of the door, as if to prove she wouldn't listen in on our conversation in an invisible ghost state.

"Listen, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry. After all of this time, I want you to know that I didn't lie to you because I didn't trust you, but because I didn't want you to get hurt, or worry about the future to come. I feel horrible, I didn't want it to end this way, I wanted to live life to the very end, but maybe this is my end. I can't do anything now, it's inevitable how this will end, there just isn't a cure." She said, rubbing her hands up and down her arms, trying to warm herself up.

I put my arm around her shoulders and pull her closer to me, trying to help. "I wish I could stay, I really and truly wish I could stay. In all honesty, if there is one thing I want, I would be to know where our relationship went, I guess I would like to think that we stayed by each other's' side until the very end." (y/n) said, smiling up at me.

"I'd like to think that too." I said, tightening my grasp around her, trying to pretend like I wasn't about to burst into tears.

(y/n clumsily got up on her knees, struggling at that, as she looked me in the eyes. She then put her hands to my cheeks.

"You know, it's okay to cry, I can tell you're holding back." She said, stroking her thumb over my cheek.

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"Because," She said, as a single tear streamed down her face. ",I'm trying to hold them back too." She finished.

She then winced in pain which caused a flash of panic to strike through me.

"(y/n), what's wrong?" I asked, guiding her back to a laying position on her bed.

"I don't know, just a small strike of pain, or something." (y/n) said sounding very unsure of herself.

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry, and if you ever need anything, just ask and I'll always be there." She said, clutching her chest in pain.

"(y/n), for everything you've given me, thank you. I don't know what my life would be like without you. After Kaori had died, I didn't think anything could be the same, but you taught me otherwise. Thank you so much. If there was anything I did wrong, I'm sorry, you didn't deserve it." I said, lowering my gaze to the ground before closing my eyes.

I felt a shaky hand place itself upon my head. "You never did anything wrong, trust me."  (y/n) said before her hand fell off of my head, like her hand went limp, to which it did.

"Sorry, I couldn't hold it up for long before my arms went limp too, sorry." She said as more tears slide down her cheeks.

"You have nothing to apologize for." I said pulling her limp body into a hug before releasing her shortly after.

"Kousei."

"Yes."

"Thank you, I don't have time to explain what for, but thank you." She said as her voice got fainter by the minute.

"Wait, what do you mean you don't have time to explain?" I asked, my panic now becoming evident on my face instead of before where I was able to keep a fake façade.

"I love you." She said, her smile starting to relax.

"(y/n), w-what are you talking about?" I was hyperventilating horribly.

"Good-" I froze, she couldn't finish her sentence, I didn't know why at first, until I heard the steady beep of the heart monitor.

"(y/n), (y/n)..... No, please, not yet. I'm not ready to let go." I fell to my knees as I buried my face into the sheets of the hospital bed. I sobbed as my grip on the cloud white sheets tighten more and more by the second.

"Kousei what-" Kaori rushed into the room, but went silent as she took in the scene in front of her.

"Kousei, I'm so sorry, but we need to leave before the doctors get in here." Kaori grabbed my hand, pulling me away.

"No please, I can't leave, not yet." I sobbed, trying to get back to (y/n)'s side, but I couldn't protest. Kaori had us out of the hospital and before I knew it, I was in my bed, sobbing until I fell asleep.

(I only have the epilogue left until the story is over, I don't want this story to be oveeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr ;-;)