I Don't Even Know Your Name

Unbareable

*Shawn's POV*

"Ruth, come back!" I yelled, stumbling after her in the darkness. I was worried that something would happen to her. It was not okay for her to be running by herself in the dark, especially with the amount of alcohol she drank tonight. I needed to be with her so I could keep her safe. I didn't even know why Ruth was so upset, let alone what just happened. I had never been drunk before, and not remembering what had happened after we started floppy cup, probably wasn't a good sign.

"Ruth, stop! It's not safe!!" I screamed, once more, hobbling quickly in her direction.

She continued to run. It looked as though she had four, very long legs. They took such giant steps while she struggled to sprint in a straight line. I spotted her body come to a stop, and sit on a large rock. I pumped my legs faster to get to her, and when I finally did, I planted myself next to her.

"Ruth, what did I do?" I questioned, my head still spinning from the vodka.

"Oh please, don't act like you didn't know what happened." She responded, anger present in her tone.

"I honestly don't know what I did, I don't even remember." I said, putting my arm around her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She yelled, throwing my arm off of her.

"Ruth, I'm sorry, truly. I don't know what I did, but whatever it was, it was a mistake. I would never do anything to hurt you." I explained deeply.

"Shawn, you've said that before, and you promised. Now you broke that promise." She replied.

"Ruth, I'm so drunk right now. I might have blacked out or something." I said.

"Oh yeah, just let the girl who's drank a hundred times forgive you for being black out drunk. That's no an excuse, Shawn! I trusted you, and you let me down, I don't know if I even want to be with someone who I can't trust."

When I heard her words, I felt my heart sink. I could feel as though it had sunk to the core of the Earth. This feeling was heavy, unbearable.

"I.... I guess I'll leave then. You don't have to see me anymore, that way you'll never get hurt again." I said, while grasping my car keys out of my pocket.
"I'm sorry Ruth, I love you, and I always will."  I kissed her forehead, and began going on my way.

"Yeah that's right, go home. I don't want you here. I can't trust you anymore, we're done." Ruth said sternly, crossing her arms. I hated seeing her react like this. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and comfort her, but I knew she wasn't going to let me do that.

I walked gloomily towards the parking lot, wiping tears from my eyes in the process. I looked back at Ruth, who still had her arms crossed. I could hear her musical whimper, it almost made a song. I was going to miss that voice. It didn't matter though, I couldn't stay and cause her more pain, she didn't deserve that.

I got in my car, and started the engine. I looked behind me to back out, but everything seemed blurry. I didn't think anyone was there, so I managed to pull out of the parking lot, I felt a slight bump under the tires though. I got to the exit of the lot and put on my turn signal. I was confused because I saw two arrows pointing in the same direction on the dash. I watched to make sure I saw no head lights coming at me and saw that I was good to go. I turned left onto the main road of the University. I swerved a bit as I got to the intersection, but I straightened out. All I could think about was how upset I had made Ruth feel. I had never made anyone feel that way before, and honestly, it made me feel horrible too. I never wanted to hurt her, that was never my intention. I loved her so much, I don't even know how I lived before she was in my life. She was like the bones in my body, that kept me together; and the air in my lungs, that helped me survive. I couldn't take a single breath without feeling the pain of knowing that she may no longer be apart of my life.

As my thoughts raced, four bright red circles came into my vision. They started out small, but then grew bigger as I came closer to them. I wondered what they were, they looked familiar. All of a sudden, I felt a giant force, bash itself into my entire body. I felt and incredible sense of joy as vivid memories of my family, friends and Ruth, flashed before my eyes. Then, everything went black, and I felt nothing.