My muscles tear,
Pain shoots through,
My entire leg,
I drop to the ground.
The tears prick,
Threatening to escape,
Collecting at the rim,
Of my bloodshot eyes.
It becomes a hill,
A mountain I have to climb.
My fingernails starts to crack,
Breaking off,
Leaving a trail of blood,
With a vengeance.
I have to reach the top.
Water engulfs me,
I glide through the water,
I'm flying under sea level,
I feel free for a moment,
Before the water stains red,
My lungs aching for air,
I have to reach the surface.
Gulping in,
The fresh air,
I dive back down,
Powerful strokes,
A bird in the water.
I'm thrown back on land,
When is this going to stop?
My body worn out,
Emotionally sapped.
A hollow shell,
Of bones and skin,
It's painful.
No time to recuperate,
Catching forty winks,
Before the next day,
Creeps into reality,
A large explosion.
Adrenaline,
Has long left me,
I can't heal,
I can't return,
Back to the flawless state,
Where confidence rang in the air,
Not shrill, a melodious
Sound which caresses the eardrums,
Soothes it, massages it,
Comforts it,
Coaxes it.
Drawing a conclusion,
I can't stay like this,
A bullet a slash,
That's all I need.
I got it.
I had it.
I lost.
