I want you.

Facing my fear.

  I am suddenly woken. But not from a noise or anything. I just wake up. Then I have a sudden urge to pee. I glance at the at the digital clock and it reads 1:32am.

I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. As I do my business I feel wide awake. I become thirsty and Hungery. After I finish peeing I go to the kitchen and grab something to eat. I dig around in the fridge. I find left over steak. I pull it out and set it on the counter. I go to the cupboard and Grab a cup. I go up to the sink and fill my cup with fresh tap water. I take a sip. As I drink I look up through the window and out to the beach and I am shocked at what I see. I almost choke on my water. I look more closely. Its Robert. What is he doing outside on the beach at one in the morning. I am eager and curious to why he sits alone out side.

  I unlock my front door but before I even go outside I check my self. Shorts, tink top, and hair is in a messy bun. Okay this is exceptional enough. I run outside. I slowly approach him. He sits with his knees bent and close to his chest.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask.

He shoots his head to the left and sees me standing there.

"Oh im just sitting out here. Enjoying the peace and quiet." He says.

I smile and he smiles back. He pats his hand on the ground next to him gesturing me to sit next to him. And of course I sit down.

"Well it was peaceful and quiet until you came out here." Robert says with a hint of sarcasm.

I smile and giggle.

He laughs along with me and I hit his shoulder playfully.

"Do you usually do this, come out here at one in the morning and just watch the water?" I ask.

"Only on Sundays." He says with a smirk.

I laugh again.

"No not usually. I couldn't sleep so I decided to go for a walk and I ended up here."

"In front of my house?" I say.

"Oh yes I forgot you live there right? " He says pointing towards my house. He had a grin on his face. He knew exactly where I lived. He was just being his smart ass self. "Yes, yes I do. Well im staying there not exactly living."

He nods his head.

It was silent for a long time. We both just stared out into the water. It looked shiney as the moon light hit the surface.

Robert suddenly stood up and whipped his shirt off. He looked down to me. Holding out his hand wanting me to take it.

"I can't just keep starting out into this water. Wanna go for a swim?"

"Uh, I better not." I say.

He gave me this look. It was funny. He titlted his head a little and his face expression was like "Really?"

"Come on." He says moving his fingers in a come-forward gesture.

I took his hand and he helped me up. I held his hand as he led me close to the water. My body shook. Every thought comes rushing back as we get closer. He lets go of my hand and runs in. I stand at the edge letting the water soak my toes. Robert is about five feet away from me into the water.

"Are you gonna come in Alex?" He ask.

I look around. I close my eyes. The memorys come back. I can hear my mom screaming bloody murder. The life guards swimming and blowing there strong whistles.

I feel every emotion I felt that day right now at this moment.

"Alex?"

I open my eyes. Robert stands closer to me now. A tear escapes my eye and travels down my cheek and hitting the sand. Robert sees the tears and he looks concerned.

The puppy dog eyes appear.

"Alex? Are you okay?"

I look down at the ground not wanting to make eye contact with him. An other tear comes down my face and cashes on the ground. I wiped the tears away and looked at Robert again. Are eyes meet.

"I can't go in that water." I say with my voice shaky.

We both stand at the edge of the water letting the water hit our feet.

He points his hand on my arm and rubs it. It sooths me. Without even thinking about it I just fall into his arms and he holds me tight. I hug him back. I cry letting all my emotions out in front of this man. This man that I have an over powering drive to know more about.

I release the hug and fall to the ground and plop down sitting.

He sits next to me. He holds my hand. Are fingers intertwined.

I don't look at him. I look out to the water. To the ocean that sits before us. I can feel his eyes on me. He stares at me. I wonder if he thinks I am beautiful. I think he is.

"What is it Alex?"

I finally look at him. My eyes watery and ready to release more tears.

"My bother drowned in this water."

It was so silent.

"Thats how he died...I told my self I would never set foot in this water."

Robert grasped my hand harder. It was a signal. So I knew He was there.

"In fact that last time I swam in any kind of water was the day he died. The flashbacks come back. Every thing. I dont want to think about it. So what do I do? I avoid it. I avoid anything that has to do with my brothers death."

I say with a trembling voice.

"You can't spend your whole life running away from your fears Alex."

Robert was right. And in that moment he made me realize I can't avoid this.

"You have to face your fears."

And with that I stood up. Robert stood up along with me. I slowly attempted the water. He walked with me. I eventually got so deep in that the water was up to my waist.

"Look at that. You did it!" Robert says. I smile. He smiles back. And in that exact moment I realized something. I was opening my heart out to him and he took it and helped me. Through my eyes I see him more then just a friend.

~

Sorry that I didn't update for Like 3 weeks.

I have 2 phones. My regular phone which I text, use instagram, Facebook, twitter, and etc. And I use this phone for music and writing on wattpad. Well I lost this phone for like 3 weeks. So im back!

I will try not to lose my this phone again:)

-Lexy-